0:07 Ephesians five twenty two. Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its savior. Now as a church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Let's pray together. Father, we come before you exalting your name.
0:37 You are worthy of our praise, Lord. You are worthy of our song. But not only that, you're worthy of our obedience. And we pray, Father, that as we open up your word, your perfect word, flawless, we ask that you would give us the humility necessary to receive it with joy and to implement it in our lives. And so Lord, we just pray right now that there would be no birds in the air in this house that would rob this seed from being implanted in the hearts of your people.
1:09 And we ask oh Lord that this word though it may be more of a teaching than anything, it would nevertheless be empowered by your spirit. And that we would leave here knowing that not a man, not an opinion, but God has spoken to his people. We pray these things in the most blessed name, the name of Jesus Christ we pray. Amen. You may be seated.
1:34 If you're new here this morning, we've been going through a series in the book of Ephesians, taking our time and taking it verse by verse. And now we've stumbled upon a segment, a section within the book of Ephesians that is going to focus on marriage. And so now we are entering into a series on marriage, which I praise God for because of his providence and because of really the the main demographic of this group here. That many of you have already entered into that season, and many of you are about to enter that season, and many of you in here desire to be in that season. Some may be called to something else, but that's between you and the Lord, and these instructions are still for all of us.
2:16 And so as we come into this, I want us to understand this series within a series in a very particular way. Think of this series on marriage like a puzzle. We're not gonna have the whole picture right away. We're not gonna have the grand total understanding in one session, in one meeting. But what we're gonna do is we're gonna take it piece by piece.
2:39 We're gonna take piece by piece and week after week, that picture is gonna look more and more complete. Why do I say that? Because with a text just like this, perhaps that we will finish and it will be complete to some degree, but you will sense something or maybe you'll even protest and say, well wait, you missed that part. And you didn't mention this about husbands, and you didn't mention that about wives, and you didn't mention this about circumstances. I am fully aware that this is something that cannot be tackled in one Sunday morning.
3:06 And so we all need grace for this series, and we all need understanding that this is a puzzle that's being built together. We're doing this together. And by God's grace, by the end of it, we would all feel this sense of fullness and completeness in the picture of marriage according to God's standard. Keep in mind that as we come to this verse as well, we just finished last two weeks ago, rather, a message on being filled with the Holy Spirit. And Paul, the master theologian, inspired by the Holy Spirit, is not being random with his thoughts in this book, nor is any thought in this book random.
3:45 We have to understand that being filled with the spirit is something that should anchor our understanding of the following truths from Ephesians five eighteen where that command is given, including marriage. Being filled with the spirit is a necessary component to a joy filled God glorifying union in marriage. Let that anchor your understanding of the specific roles that are given. Because wives, potential wives, young ladies, you might hear this message and say that is way over what I can offer. Well, don't forget Ephesians five eighteen, be filled with the spirit.
4:24 Husbands, love your wives to what? The best of your ability? No. No. No.
4:30 No. How Christ loved the church. That's way over what I can offer. Well, be filled with the spirit. He's here to help you.
4:39 He has been given to assist us to live out what has been prescribed. Notice also with me that following this teaching on marriage from Ephesians five down even leaking into Ephesians chapter six, Almost immediately after, we are presented with a teaching on spiritual warfare. That is not by accident either brothers and sisters because you and I have to understand that a major attack that comes from Satan and all his minions will be and is to this day and always has been against the home, against marriage, against children and their obedience to their parents, against the harmony of the home. Do you think that Paul put that in there by accent? Or is it on purpose to give us insight that one of the main onslaughts of Satan against the people of God, against people in general is the idea of God's standard of marriage.
5:46 You don't have to go too far. You don't have to flip through too many channels. You don't have to stay on social media very long to realize that that is true. Now why is that? Why is Satan so caught up with wanting to attack God's idea and God's plan for marriage.
6:06 Look at verse 32. This mystery is profound. And I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. That makes much sense now why Satan would want to spend much of his time attacking what God's design is for this union because it reflects Jesus Christ. It reflects the church.
6:29 It reflects the union and the the relationship that ought to be experienced between Christ and church. And it is a picture. It should be a mirror. It should bounce off and show people Christ and the church. It should show people the love of the gospel.
6:43 It should show people God's sacrificial love. Satan would love to mar that, he would love to pollute that, he would love to taint that, he would love to twist that. So what does he do? He works very hard and he is working very hard to not just convince the world that marriage can be totally up to you and it doesn't matter what gender you are, it doesn't matter this and that. He's even convincing the people of God.
7:11 Not necessarily that marriage should be between a man and a woman. That that hopefully, I hope that this generation understands that, and you can hear some crazy stories that many people that are under the umbrella of Christendom don't agree with that. But it's more specific. I believe the attack amongst the people of God is around not the idea of man and woman being husband and wife, but the roles that they play. So you can have a majority of Christians say, yeah.
7:37 Yeah. I understand man and man and woman. Yeah. Marriage. It's the way God designed it.
7:41 But then you present the roles and they go, hold on. We're in 2018. What are you talking about? Keep that in mind as we come to verse 22, that God has a design for these specific roles. And he begins by addressing wives.
8:04 Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. Now what does that mean? I can assure that there are at least a few people in here that just in reading that verse right now, your soul just tensed up, did it not? Walls just came up. Do you feel it in the room?
8:27 Submit has become a cuss word. And I'm amazed because in seeing other people's opinions and I understand where they're coming from, but it's almost a disservice now. I am amazed at how so many people are spending more time defending and explaining why this is acceptable rather than explaining what it is. And we don't even know what it is because so many people are apologizing for this word in the Bible rather than explaining what God has asked of us. And so I will be the first to say I will not apologize for what the bible says.
9:03 Will not. But by God's grace, we will dismantle together and come to a place where we can really understand it because there is another side to this. There is people who have taken this truth and have abused it. I understand that. But we're not gonna change the language of the Bible to make people feel comfortable.
9:22 We're gonna stick with what God said and trust that he's a good God and that he has his glory in mind and your joy in mind when he gave this command. So what does it mean to submit? Well, I believe verse 24 is an insight, and it's been given just in case anybody would wanna say, well, I believe submission means this. I believe verse 24 eliminates any subjective interpretation of what this word means. What does verse 24 tells?
9:53 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. So Paul is saying, if you want to know what submission looks like, look at the relationship between the church and her bridegroom, and take some truths out of that. See what's going on there, and let it transfer into your understanding of a wife submitting to her husband. So I believe submission, if you were to give it a one line definition, can be defined as this. For a wife to submit is a divine calling given to her to honor, affirm, respect, assist, and yield to the leadership of her husband.
10:46 It's a divine calling given by God for a wife to honor, respect, affirm, assist, and yield to her husband's leadership. Those words are given on purpose. All of those words that were given have a specific and particular element in the idea of submission. And again, there might be walls that come up right here and there might be this filter that that definition has just gone through in your minds that might think, well, okay. So you're saying you're telling me that submission is mindless obedience, a suppression of any feelings, and the elimination of any input or opinion being given from a woman to a man.
11:38 Wrong. Wrong. I hope this will help. We will now discuss what submission is not. Just in case anybody might have the wrong idea or even the wrong experience or the wrong teaching of what submission might be.
11:55 It's not this mindless obedience. It's not this elimination of emotion. It's not the suppression of any input being able to give to a husband. It's none of those things. Let's let's talk about what submission is not.
12:08 Submission is not and does not mean inferiority. It does not mean that a wife is less than her husband in value and in essence, nor in purpose. You think of the triune godhead that we sang to today. You think about Jesus who said even himself in John 14 that the father is greater than I. When he found himself in the Garden Of Gethsemane, Matthew chapter 26 verse 39, he says, and going a little further, he fell on his face praying, saying, my father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from you.
12:42 Nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will. Christ displayed an attitude and a lifestyle of submission to the Father's will. Now when you understand that, do you do you take from that that Christ is less than the Father? That he is less in essence? Is he is he less God than the father?
13:10 When you understand and you see him responding this way and declaring to people that he is greater than himself. Is he greater in essence? Even in that verse he's saying that he is greater in position not in value, not in essence, not in deity. And so we should praise God that even the Trinity itself is an example of how a relationship ought to be experienced and expressed when specific roles are honored and kept by each individual. And so if anybody objects to this, you can be encouraged and you can know to to to lean on even the Trinity itself.
13:47 That they set the example for us as a community itself. God is one. Yes. We believe that. But within God, the Godhead, there is community.
13:55 There is love. God can't be loved. He can't be loved unless he is someone to love. And he loved before he created the world. He is love.
14:01 So who did he love? It's that community within the triune Godhead that also sets an example for us that there can be an expression and experience of true harmony and joy when each role is honored. And so this is what we have to understand about marriage. That a person who submits, a wife who submits is not declaring that she is subordinate, that she is less than, that she is not as qualified, that she is not as gifted, that she is not as purposeful. No.
14:31 No. No. It doesn't mean any of those things. It means that you have a specific tailor made calling as a wife that only you can fulfill, and that is necessary in order for marriage to be to be experienced according to God's standard. Yeah.
14:47 Submission does not mean if you're already needed, does it mean that there is an elimination of participation? We need the whole counsel of God. And Genesis two eighteen tells us that God for the first time in his process of creation looks at a man and goes, that's not good. That's not good. For man to be alone is not good.
15:09 The first thing that God said was not good was when God saw Adam alone. And so what does he say? I will make a servant for him? You know, Adam, it's not good for you to be alone. You need a servant.
15:24 You need a slave. That's what you need. No. I'm gonna make you a helper. That's an awesome word.
15:33 That's a word in the original language that God ascribes to himself. And he says, I'm gonna make you a helper. And that's why part of submission is not just allowing a man to do what God's called him to do as the leader of the home. It is also assisting him in fulfilling it. With all your gifts, with all your abilities, with all your knowledge, you now use that to assist the man that God has brought into your life to fulfill what he has been called to do.
16:07 And so there is obvious language of participation there. So submission is not this based on my understanding of Genesis, that a wife just mindlessly obeys whatever a husband says. Get me a glass of water. Yes, sir. Get me this.
16:23 Can I can I go to this place? No. No. No. No.
16:26 That's not what it looks like. There is dialogue. There is conversation. There is input. There is there is a teamwork aspect to marriage that God has instituted from the beginning.
16:38 And there's so many examples that we can turn to. And you don't have to turn there, but just think with me with a woman that the Bible describes so beautifully, Abigail. Though she was not David's wife immediately, the discretion that she displayed caused him to wanting to marry her, and he did. David was a man that was set on destroying Nabal. He was set.
17:01 He was nothing could deter him from that purpose. He was going forward in first Samuel 25. And as he's going towards that direct direction, even talking to himself saying he does not know what he's getting himself into. In comes Abigail, and she gives an input. She gives her insight into the situation with so much honor and so much respect.
17:24 Not just giving it, she's doing it in a specific way. And as she does it, look what David says concerning her in verse 32. And David said to Abigail, blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel, who sent you this day to meet me. Blessed be your discretion, and blessed be you who have kept me this day from blood guilt and from working salvation with my own hand. And once Nabal died, you know what he did?
17:50 You're mine. And rightfully so. He had an understanding that she had something to offer him. She did something to this man after God's own heart. She was able to to realign him.
18:07 She was able to to speak into his life. And I believe though that in this instant, they were not married right away. It speaks of something. It speaks of the value. It speaks of what a woman can do to a man and how much that she can keep him from and and and lead him to.
18:25 So submission is not the elimination of participation. Husbands in this place, future husbands, your wife is not your slave. You don't speak to her like a slave. You don't command her like a slave. You have to understand that apart from her, God says, it's not a good situation, whatever's going on there.
18:50 And that in his wisdom, in his love, in his purpose, Like David, you should be able to say blessed be the Lord for allowing you to meet me here. She's your partner. Proverbs thirty one eleven tells us that this excellent wife, right, we all know Proverbs 31, but you know what it says about the husband? It says that he puts his trust in her. He puts his trust in her.
19:20 He understands her value, understands what she brings to the table, and he celebrates it. It's amazing how many husbands don't celebrate their wives. But we'll get to the husbands next week. This is this is for the wives this morning. Submission also does not mean that one must now be lenient on sin.
19:51 What do I mean by that? We know that there are different forms of submission in the Bible. One of them is submitting to governing authorities, but we also know that though all people are called to submit to governing authorities, Peter and John showed something else in Acts five. That they came to a place and they they said we must obey God rather than man. We must obey God rather than man.
20:14 And that could be translated into the marriage covenant as well. Because the the reality is many wives are married to either nominal Christians, Christians that are living in a backslidden state, or even non believers. And we have to take comfort in this, that submission does not mean that when a husband puts a demand on you or a request on you, that would blatantly violate scripture that you have to succumb to that. That you yourself in a respectful way, in an honoring way, have every right to say I must obey God rather than man. And what this does is it protects protects women from falling into any form of extreme understanding of this principle.
21:03 And also protects husbands from leaning into a place that they should not lean into concerning their authority as the husband is the head of the house. So we must understand that submission does not mean that you do not ultimately submit to Christ. And this also does not mean that a woman can use that truth and use it as a license to disagree on things that are not necessarily clear in scripture and use this God told me this. I don't care what God told you or I don't care what God says here because God told no no no. There's no license for that either.
21:41 So so we must have a balanced understanding because there's two pitfalls that we can fall into here. It requires a person's love for the word of God, wisdom, and being filled with the spirit to know how to operate in submission. Remember that, please. Remember Ephesians five eighteen. Let that be your framework of understanding this teaching so we know what submission is not.
22:05 So what is the nature of submission? What's what's the purpose of it? Last weekend, I was with my brother at a conference and he had met me from Canada, so he drove. He drove to meet me, and we had a car to go to these places and go to the meetings. And so every single time there was a meeting, he would drive.
22:21 It was his his car, and I would sit in the passenger seat, and we took that time to talk. We took that time to catch up. We took that time to maybe debate a little bit here and there about various subjects. And from time to time, even my brother would ask me for directions concerning how we would get there. But we had one purpose together.
22:38 We wanted to go from point a to point b as peaceably as possible and on time. And it was an enjoyable experience. Even the car rides alone were an enjoyable experience. We used it to pray. We we just had a great time together in that time.
22:54 But it would be a totally different experience, would you say, if I was in a passenger seat and he was driving, and between point a and point b, I was fighting for the steering wheel. It'd be a totally different experience if while he was there, I was I was trying to get into the driver's seat. I was unbuckling his seat belt, and I was trying to get in there and push him into the passenger seat. It would be a totally different thing. Or maybe maybe I could say, okay, you can stay in there, but I'll just sit on your lap and we'll both drive.
23:24 It sounds silly, does it not? Why does it sound silly? Because that car has been designed for there to be only one driver. Nobody argues with that. And marriage itself has been designed by God for there to be one head, one leader, one person that has their hands on the steering wheel.
23:46 Does that mean that does that mean that my brother didn't ask me for instruction from time to time? No. No. No. Does that mean that we didn't enjoy our time?
23:55 In fact, we enjoyed it. I we enjoyed our experience, the fact that we weren't fighting over the steering wheel. Do Do you know how many people are not enjoying their marriage because they're fighting for the steering wheel? Do you know how many people are not going from point a to point b in what God has called them to do because they want two foot on the pedal? Submission is simply this, for a wife to allow and encourage her husband to fulfill his God ordained role as a leader.
24:27 That's all it is. Encouraging, allowing, and even assisting for him to do it, lest there be frustration on that car ride, distraction, and ultimately catastrophe. So look at a car and say that's the way cars are made. There's one driver's seat. And look at marriage and say that's the same way God's made it.
24:53 There's one driver's seat. And this can make all the difference of how marriage is experienced. And if people really understood that, I'm sure that it would be easily swallowed by many. So what does submission look like? First Peter three is our one of our main verses here.
25:15 First Peter three verse six. Turn your bibles and meet me there. But this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves. There's so much jam packed in that alone. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands.
25:39 As Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord. And you are her children if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. So if you're gonna understand anything about submission, future wives, current wives, engaged people, know this, that submission is sacred. Submission is a sacred posture of the heart. If you look at the context, Peter's admonishing the woman not to focus their adorning externally.
26:15 Doesn't say don't adorn yourself. Doesn't say you can't focus on these things in the sense of putting attention to it. It says don't make that your main focus. Let your main focus be the internal adorning. Let it be a gentle and quiet spirit.
26:30 Let it be something internal that will manifest externally, which tells me something about submission as he likens it to jewelry and braided hair and clothing, that it requires a conscious effort. It requires you to actually put it on like you would an outfit. And so it's not just this automatic thing. Well, be filled with the spirit. So holy spirit help me to be submissive, and you put no conscious awareness or effort into it.
27:00 He's there to assist you, not to possess you like a puppet and you do it. No. He's here to help you once you yield to the command, once you say yes to what God has ordained. And once you come to that place, you have to understand that you have to put it on like humility, like love. Don't feel like you're in the flesh if you tell yourself that I have to to or I must come to this place, and and you you put your mind to it.
27:23 Yes. In the enablement of the Holy Spirit, but it must be initiated by you daily sometimes. But also know this, that as jewelry and braided hair and clothing is put on consciously, for what reason? To beautify. Right?
27:44 So submission is the same. It beautifies your personhood. At least in God's eyes, God says this is this is precious in my very sight. You know what Proverbs tells us about a beautiful woman with the wrong attitude? Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman without discretion, Proverbs eleven twenty two.
28:08 I don't mean to sound rude or disrespectful, but this is just true in many cases. There have been a lot of physically beautiful and attractive women who have completely destroyed all of that once they open their mouths. You could say the same for a man's personality, but it's amazing how a personality can completely eclipse any physical beauty that they might possess. And And it's amazing what the right personality and the right heart can do to a person's appearance. The Bible tells us that when a woman puts this on, at least to the godly, and even to some degree the ungodly, there's something to be admired.
28:56 There is an attractiveness about submission because submission is not weakness, it's strength. Do you think Christ was weak when he submitted to the will of the father or was he strong? Was he flimsy? Was he insecure? Was he defeated?
29:19 No. He was possessed by one desire to glorify the father, and he was empowered by the spirit, and he was fearless. He was powerful. You're not strong by getting your own will. You're not strong by being selfish or stubborn.
29:46 In fact, you're weak because you've given yourself over to the desires of your flesh. But it is a completely different level of strength when a person can say no to their will, when a person can work with another person for the purpose of glorifying God. It's not only a beautiful thing to put on, it's a statement of your faith in God. What does it say there in first Peter three six? It tells us that those who hoped in God used to adorn themselves.
30:17 So submission is a reflection of a person's faith in God. And so although the culture might fight against it, although your flesh might resist it, and although there might be circumstances that might challenge it, when you choose to come to that place of submission, you are declaring your faith in God. You are showing to the world, you are showing for your marriage, you are showing to all onlookers that I'm choosing this pathway. I'm going down this avenue because I trust in God's ways, I believe in God's standards, and I know that this will please him. Those who hoped in God adorned themselves with this.
31:09 So it tells me something on the negative aspect that when a person chooses not to submit in some way, they're declaring a lack of faith in God's ways. They're declaring a lack of trust and understanding and to some degree a desire to glorify him. So what does submission look like in the sense of example? And the Bible is not shy of giving us that because Peter tells us, as Sarah, in verse six, obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. As Sarah obeyed Abraham.
31:46 And the reason why the holy spirit chose Sarah as an example of a submissive spirit is not just because she is married to Abraham, the father of faith, and she's the mother of faith. It's not because she was one of the initiators. No. No. No.
31:57 There is something about Sarah's life and who she was married to that has been given to us as a standard of what submission looks like. And it was not necessarily yes, it it was about her decisions, but it was her decisions in response to the decisions that Abraham made. And and he doesn't give us a specific incidence here. He doesn't give us a specific moment of how she proved their submission. I believe it was her lifelong walk in that.
32:27 I mean, think about Abraham from the from the starting point, when he was called to go to a land that he did not know. Sarah went. You can see this this this seems to be this ease in his transition moments. I'm talking about physical moving that she was there. Yeah.
32:42 Were there some bumpy roads? Absolutely. And I praise God that the Bible doesn't give us this flawless view of marriage, that there are some real incidences that happened, there are some real moments that would cause some some turbulence in marriage. But think about how difficult it was for Sarah to move. One day Abraham comes in and says Abraham at the time says, we're gonna go move.
33:03 Where? I don't know. What do you mean you don't know? I just know that God spoke to me, and we gotta go where he's calling us to go. Think about the house that they grew up in.
33:16 Think about the family life back there. Think about the things that they were doing. Think about the comfort, the comfort of it alone. And think about the discomfort of being led into a direction that the full blueprint hasn't been given. Now it makes sense if God gave the full blueprint and says share this with your wife.
33:34 She'll be convinced. None of that. All I know is that God has called me to move forward. Are you in? You read Genesis 12, you don't see any objection on Sarah's part.
33:50 What would have happened if Sarah did not submit to that? What could have happened? What would have happened if there was that tension and that resistance? Well, I'll tell you this, point a to point b would not have been as harmonious, would not have been as enjoyable, would have been prolonged. No.
34:12 She obeyed. And what Peter does though is he does go to a specific element of her submission, which I believe is fascinating because he does not necessarily go to an action. He goes to the way she spoke. Obeying Abraham, calling him lord. You find that in Genesis 18.
34:36 But it gives us an insight of what submission looks like. Submission looks like a person who knows how to respect her husband. When you go back to Ephesians five thirty three, it says, therefore, husbands love your wives and wives respect your husbands. I wanna give you a little insight. Ladies, guys are wired to desire respect.
35:08 The same way you can say confidently as a woman that you desire to be showered with love, showered with affection, knowing that you're secure with your significant other, knowing that he'll provide, knowing that he's there to protect you. The same way you're wired that way, men are wired by God to want respect from their wives. To not belittle them in speech, To not look down upon them. To not tear them down. To not speak ill of them in public.
35:40 When we look at this calling him lord there, don't get caught up with the fact that she called him lord, little El Maso. Don't get caught up with that. Get caught up with the principle of honor and respect that she showed her husband. And so it's in speech, not just indeed or lack of deed. It's in speech.
35:59 And I remember talking to a couple, and this is true of many couples, where there was something going back and forth for many weeks and many months about a specific situation. And talking to them individually, I finally talked to the one, and that person says something that is so true in light of scripture and in light of all men, I believe. He says something along the sides lines of this, brother, it's not even about the situation happening or not. It's about her just honoring my decision and respecting me. And when I told that to the other person, his wife, she understood.
36:36 This is how men are wired. And so what does this look like in a setting, in a marriage setting? Well, let's look at a scenario in two different ways. Here's a husband and a wife. They're going back and forth.
36:45 Why? Because she's a participant. She's a helper. She's not just gonna take everything and take orders and just not be able to come and assist if she sees something that he doesn't see, and husbands have to be open to that. But there seems to be a situation where there is an agreement.
36:58 We're not falling on the same place here. And so back and forth day after day, there's this conversation and and and finally comes to a place, this is what submission looks like, finally comes to the place that the husband, according to the authority of his role, gets the word and says, honey, I know that we've been going back and forth on this, but I feel like the Lord is leading me in this direction. We have to do this, and you just have to trust me on it. And this is where submission comes in and kicks in and says, okay. But here's how it can be handled in light of submission.
37:26 Submission is not just letting him do a look at this. Imagine she responded like this. Well, that's just great. You do that, but if you're wrong and you lead our family astray, guess what? You're accountable to God and I'm fearful for you on judgement day.
37:39 And you walk out of the room. Now she let him do it, but is that still submission according to first Peter three six? Now let's look at that same situation. Husband and wife, day after day, week after week, they're going back and forth on a specific situation. He steps in as his role as a husband and says, listen, honey.
38:01 I get it. It's frustrating. But I really believe that this is the direction we gotta go. Perhaps they're moving somewhere. Just trust me.
38:10 And this is how she responds. I know this is difficult, but I trust in your leadership. I trust that God is guiding you. I trust that he's imparting the wisdom necessary. And sweetheart, I'm gonna be praying for you and praying for us as we transition into this.
38:30 And I am with you no matter what the outcome looks like. Do you feel the difference? Not just hear it. Do you feel the difference? This is what submission looks like.
38:44 Now do you see how beautiful it is? What's beautiful? What's more beautiful? What's more God glorifying? What's what's gonna what's gonna give more joy and more harmony, more peace in the home?
39:03 Notice that it says about Sarah that her children these are the people that would describe her children. Her her those reflect who she is as a woman who submits and and loves God and loves his word. It says that she and her children rather will do good and will not fear those things that will cause fear. She submitted fearlessly. Meaning that she didn't just she didn't even just do it with, yes, with respect, yes, with honor, yes, with desiring to glorify God, but she did it without fear in her heart.
39:37 Because this idea of submission can be fearful when there's decisions that need to be made, and perhaps you really believe you're right, and you really believe that there is a certain thing that should go in a certain way, but you choose to rather submit anyway, there can be that aspect of fear of the future, of how this will affect the children. But she was fearless. Why? Because in submitting, she's trusting God. And when you honor God's word, God will honor your life.
40:05 Her children are fearless, so she she tackled this this submission element in her life with fearlessness. Not in fear, not in doubt. She did not divorce her submission to her husband with her relationship with God. You and I are called to do the same. What do we see here?
40:29 We see here that there is an obedience to the leadership and there's a respect. And there might be some objections to this. Some genuine objections like this one. What if my husband's not a leader? What if he's not fulfilling his role?
40:47 What what if he he's my husband, he even loves the Lord, but he does not take initiative. He doesn't step into his role. I find myself having to initiate organizing our finances, and I have to find it to initiate the devotional time, and I have to do this, and and you find yourself being the one that is carrying the load. There's many ways to approach this, but I would give you one simple instruction. I hope you take it to heart, and it is the power of encouragement.
41:19 If you just if you just have it within yourself, in your wisdom, be like an Abigail who had discretion. She knew how to steer a hot headed bloody warrior, though he was a man of God, into a place where he put down the sword and let God bring vengeance on his behalf. You have that ability, wives. I would say if I were to put language in your mouth to find a way to stir him into that. The same way Hebrews 10 tells us that we are called to stir up one another to love and good works.
41:55 Find a way to stir it up inside of him. Find a way to say, you know, honey, I love it when you lead devotions. I get excited every time you do it. I I love to learn from what God has revealed to you. I know that the kids, they they they long for it so much and it's so much different when it comes from you than when it comes from me.
42:20 You know, sweetheart, I'm eager. I'm eager to follow your lead. Can we pray together for a vision for ministry that you can use your gifts? Do you see how that can do something to a man? In respect.
42:35 Again, we can approach it this way. Now what would it look like if if you came like this? You're a lazy bum. Get it together. You're supposed to love me like Christ loved the church.
42:48 Don't you read your Bible? I'm serious. I know this sounds funny, but this is what people do. But do you notice that when when God commanded wives to submit, he didn't say, husbands, make sure your wives submit. Do you notice that?
43:03 Doesn't say, husbands, make sure your wives submit. And how many husbands say, you better submit to me because the Bible says it? Doesn't say, wives, make sure that your husbands love you like Christ loves the church. Which comes to my next point because I find it astounding that the command for wise to submit is before the command for husbands to love. Because this second objection might come, well, what if my husband's not even saved?
43:31 What if my husband is a nominal Christian, but he shows no fruit in his life? Well, it says submit before the command for the husband to love. It doesn't it doesn't exclude that, but it's worthy of note. And just in case that's for you some subjective interpretation, first Peter three one tells us something. What does it say?
43:53 You're familiar with it? Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if some do not obey the word. Okay. So submission is not dependent upon the spiritual condition of one's husband. Remember Ephesians five eighteen, be filled with the spirit.
44:11 Do you hear that? Be filled with the spirit. Oh, do you feel the need? Yes. That's why he's there.
44:19 So that if some who do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives when they see your respectful and pure conduct. You know what tells me about submission? You know what tells me about the power of submission? Submission is an evangelistic tool. Submission, if embraced and appropriately responded to, can actually be used to soften and tenderize the heart of even a man who shows no fruit in their lives concerning the word of God.
44:57 So submission weakness now. The submission sound like some flimsy command. No. No. No.
45:05 It has grip to it. It has bite to it. It has power to it. No wonder why Satan attacks such a thought. That wives who maybe have came come to faith in their marriage and being married to somebody who is not a believer have the ability to actually now see their husbands come to faith based on what?
45:25 Their their knowledge of scripture, their bible studies in the house? No no no. By their submission. And so he's encouraging them that even though you might be in a circumstance that makes submission so much harder to embrace, if you just have this understanding by understanding one that you're enabled by the spirit and two that if you respond to this over time, it is possible for them to be softened and to come to faith. Let that be your motivation.
45:55 Let that be your charge. You have a mission now as a wife. You're concerned about ministry, there's your ministry to some degree. And it has consequences in every area, how much more is this truth gonna pull you into the prayer closet? Say, God, I can't get out now, and I choose not to get out now.
46:19 I don't understand what's going on, but I'm gonna make it my mission to not only seek you on behalf of my husband, but to also live according to what you've called me to do so that he would see my life and see Christ radiating from me. And from that place, he would say, I am not even deserving of you. Why are you so loving? Why are you so kind? Why do you not answer back?
46:41 Why do you not fight me when I say things even though I know I'm wrong and I try to push your buttons? How is this so? Charles Spurgeon shared a story about a woman that he had heard of that was twenty years in a marriage in which she was ruthlessly persecuted by her husband. I mean, he was evil. He was a drunkard, wicked.
47:06 And she came to the place after twenty years where she thought to herself, that's it. I have no faith left that he's gonna be converted. And one day, he goes out with his friends and at midnight drinking, merry and hard, he's talking to his boys about how awesome his wife is. And he was bragging over drink that he believed he had the greatest wife that any man could have. And as they listened, he leaned in and says, you know what?
47:37 I'll actually prove it to you. It's late. She's sleeping. But I'm sure of this, that if we go to the house and I wake her up and I try to stir her temper and I ask her to make us all a late night supper, she'll she'll do it. So they were obviously interested by such a request.
48:00 And so they followed him to the house and sure enough he goes up and wakes her up in his drunken stupor. My friends, they they want to eat. Make us supper. You know what she did? She got up cheerfully.
48:17 She goes downstairs without one complaint, not one complaint from her mouth, makes them supper. And one of the men that was with them was so astounded by this, and he was a little bit more sober than the rest. And he had asked her, how does this man have a wife like you? Why aren't why are you responding this way to such a fool and a buffoon? I don't wanna butcher it.
48:49 Let me give you her exact words. She said this, I have done all I can to bring my husband to God, and I fear he will never be saved. Since, therefore, his portion must be in health forever, I will make him as happy as I can while he is here, for he has nothing to expect hereafter. That's wisdom. Not too long after that, that man got saved.
49:24 Do you see this? Do you see how first Peter three one can be used evangelistically? Even in the hopelessness of her husband getting saved, she still put on and adorned herself with this as a testimony, not just to him, but her his drunken friends. And came to a place where she said, you know what? I give up.
49:42 He's gonna go to hell, so might as well make the best out of his life now. Now you hear that again. Let me challenge you. Does that not look beautiful? When you when you see that, do you see weakness?
49:56 Or do you see wisdom in a person that's so spirit filled that they can take a situation like that and preach a sermon in two sentences? Sometimes the greatest attitude for submission, the greatest motivation is Ephesians five twenty two where it says, wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. Do it for him. Those times where it's easier to bite back and those times where it's easier to let the flesh loose, just do it unto the Lord. You have no idea the implications that it could have for a godly husband and for even an ungodly one.
50:36 In fact, John Wesley was used mindedly by God. And this man has been through so much. He's had urine thrown on him. He's been stoned. He's been kicked out of cities and towns.
50:54 He's had his name tarnished by so many. And you know what? He was able to get back up with bruises, with cuts, and everything else and move on joyfully. Move on with glee. And you read about what this man has been through, you think he was superhuman.
51:09 But he admitted to one thing, that in spite of all those tragedies, the number one discouragement in his in his walk was actually his wife. His wife was the greatest hindrance in his ministry. You can read on this. And I thought to myself reading that, man, John Wesley did so much for God despite his wife, but what else could he have done if his wife cooperated with him? Some of you who are familiar with church history and these men of God, imagine what else could have happened, what else ground he could have covered if he had yield or if she had yielded and honored even in spite of his pitfalls.
51:55 I understand he made mistakes. He traveled all the time and he did some things. Sure. But if she had taken the attitude as this example from Charles Spurgeon, what else could have propelled him? So young man, you better be careful.
52:08 This better be something that you look for in a woman because she can either make you or destroy your ministry. You better believe that. I'm gonna end on this note, that the bible says that wives are to submit to their own husbands. Not submit to man. They're husbands.
52:39 And that's important. There's a special type of yieldedness that's given over to your significant other wives. And here's why that's important because during your lifetime, there will be opportunities even from those who are closest to you to tempt you or persuade you to not listen to your husband as the authority and to allow them to influence you, including fathers and including brothers. As close as you are to them according to the scriptures, your husband has been given the word and the final authority in matters. Do you know who had this revelation as a father-in-law?
53:17 Jethro. Moses's father-in-law, when he comes in to bring back Moses's wife and his kids, the last time we see him is in this this obvious tension. And after all those chapters, we come to Exodus 18, and look what Jethro says. And when he has sent word to Moses, look what he says in Exodus eighteen six. I, your father-in-law Jethro, am coming to you with your wife and her two sons with her.
53:48 Notice what he didn't say. I'm coming with my daughter. He says, I'm coming to you with your wife. This man understood the importance and the authority that's been given to Moses concerning even his own daughter. Do you know why I say that?
54:07 Because many people take the word of their own father over their husband, and many take the word over their own brothers and even friends over their own husband. And the Bible says, wives, submit to your own husbands, which tells me another thing. Guys, I don't care if you have a crush on her. You can't exercise your authority as a husband if you're not committed to her. Well how am I supposed to find out if she's submissive then?
54:32 There are many ways, but you acting like a husband when you're not is not one of them. What are some ways? Maybe we can end on this note. What are some ways, young men? We've been addressing the ladies this entire meeting, so let's talk to the young men for now.
54:49 What are some ways that you can indicate if you desire to have a woman in your life that would partner with you for the purposes of God? I I hope that this is one of the qualifications. Well, look at Ephesians five twenty one. Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ah, so there's another way of submission.
55:08 There's another avenue of submission concerning all believers in relationship to all things that could demonstrate a person's submissiveness. If you really wanna know, all you gotta do brothers is just see how she treats her father. See how she treats her brothers. It's submission and part of it is respect in speech. Just see how she talks.
55:34 Is she rude? Is she disrespectful? Not just to her father or brother, but all people, all believers submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Do you see her as a team player? Do you see her manipulating situations for her own agenda?
55:48 Do you see her lording it over different things? That's probably a good indication that if you marry her, she'll bring that into the marriage. And so you and I need to develop the discretion and the wisdom to be able to evaluate without stepping out of bounds into that relationship. Submit to your husbands. If there's one prayer that I have for you young ladies, my fellow sisters, is that leaving this message you would not feel oppressed or feeling like a slave, but that through this command you would sense an invitation to Christ likeness.
56:31 And you would realize the influence that God has deposited within you to bring so much harmony, peace, influence, and great, great value to your marriage, your future marriage, and even God's call for your life. That's why through these next weeks, I encourage all of you, and this is what we'll be doing even in corporate prayer, we're going to dedicate these next weeks to praying for marriages. We're gonna be praying for those who are just married, those who are engaged to be married, those who desire to be married. We're gonna ask God because we have to realize, hey, Ephesians six is coming up and Satan wants to attack what we just talked about. He wants to attack it.
57:12 Would you sense it? Would you open your heart to it? Would you say, Lord, whatever it takes, mold me into this? Would you ask God to drain out all the other thoughts that have come from culture or even your your discussion with other people? And would you say, Lord, mold me into these woman of all, these holy woman who live in such a light.
57:33 It's yours. It's yours. And if you think that you have to wait to get married until you implement it, that's not true. You begin now. You ask God to mold you now and you ask God to sanctify you now.
57:47 And let it be so obvious on you that it would be like a gold necklace. It would be like pearl earrings. It would be like a wonderful dress. And when others look, they say, that is a beautiful individual. Would you pray with me?
58:06 Father, we come before you this morning, refreshed by your word, delighting in your wisdom, and responding, God, with a desire to yield to it. Lord, we lift up every single young lady here that this would be an invitation to something more of Christ likeness in their walk. We pray for those that are engaged and those that are married, and each one of them might be facing a different circumstance, and all of it could be challenging. We thank you, Lord, for the filling of the Holy Spirit. We pray that that would be a resource and a command and an insight that they would continually lean upon.
58:48 But Lord, we also see that there is a wisdom needed that comes, yes, from the spirit. But Lord, may may our sisters in Christ be able to hear from you through your word, through examples, to be able to know how they could walk in their marriage in a way to win their husbands or assist their godly husbands that long to walk in your ways even though it doesn't make sense to them. Lord, we just pray together for an infusion of fearlessness in each of their hearts as they approach this principle of life. That, Lord, they would choose rather to submit than to do it their own way. They would fear rather doing it their own way rather than doing it yours.
59:42 And so, Lord, we just pray that as we unpack this marriage series that you would guide us by the spirit and that, Lord, we would be a people that would represent you well in this area of life. And that, Lord, when the world is doing their own thing, they would see a people who have yielded and leaned upon the wisdom of almighty God. Lord, may that be found in this house. Help us understand that we're still building a puzzle here. If there's questions, Lord, may this time of fellowship be filled with the fragrance of encouragement and love and insight, and may you be exalted as we worship you in song as a response to your goodness towards us in this command.
1:00:25 We give you praise and glory in Jesus' name. Amen.
