The Pattern and Purpose for Marriage - Pastor Daniel Batarseh (Ephesians Series)

Ephesians five thirty one. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. Let's pray. Father, we believe that this day is the Lord's day.

We believe, Lord, that you are to be revered this morning, and we come to receive from you. We come with undivided hearts, Lord. We come with minds that are fully attentive, and we pray that you would speak to your people. Lord, we believe that as soon as this word is open, it is declared in one way or another that you are speaking. And so, lord, give us the ears to hear what the spirit says to the churches.

Lord, we long for you to change us, and we need your help. And so, Lord, as we continue in this series on marriage, would you heal marriages in this place? Would you redirect marriages? Would you sanctify marriages? Lord, for those that are engaged, would you inspire them and move them towards a certain direction?

And, Lord, for those who are single, this is not irrelevant to us, but, Lord, we just pray that it would motivate us to prepare for that season in life and to realize that this season itself is important in light of what we're hearing this morning. We give you praise and glory in Jesus' name. Amen. You may be seated. The past couple of weeks, we have been discussing the foundational roles that a husband and a wife ought to operate in as individuals who are brought together in holy union under God.

And so if you were here for the past couple weeks, you've been hearing about the role of a wife. You've been hearing the role of a husband. But we have to understand that these commands are given to these specific roles because our sin nature pulls us into a different direction. The flesh cannot please God, and the mind that is set on the flesh does not submit to God's law. Indeed, it cannot.

And so when we see why these commands are given, it's because our flesh wants to go in the actual opposite direction. And so we need to be told because of God's wisdom and because of his standard what to do in light of marriage as individuals in a relationship. But listen, these commandments, be reminded of this, these commandments are given to us as guardrails to guide couples to walk on the pathway of God's divinely ordained blueprint for marriage. And here's what I want you guys to understand, that God has given us a pattern for marriage. And if a couple will honor God's pattern, they will walk in his purpose.

And when they walk in his purpose, they will experience his pleasure. Let me say that again. God has given us a pattern. If you and I choose to submit to that prescription, we will walk in his purpose. And when you and I choose to walk in his purpose, you will experience his pleasure.

And we have a pattern here for marriage. And if there's a title for this teaching, it's gonna be more teaching than preaching, so you better hold on to your Bibles because we're going to different texts this morning. If there's a title for this message, it is God's pattern and purpose for marriage. God's pattern and purpose for marriage. What is God's pattern for marriage?

What is his prescription? What is his idea of what a marriage should look like? Well, it can be summarized in the very verse that we just read, verse 31 of Ephesians chapter five. What is Paul doing here? The apostle Paul is reaching back all the way to the beginning.

He's going all the way back to Genesis two twenty four, where God himself gave these very same instructions of what marriage ought to be. But it's not just Genesis two twenty four. We have Jesus in Matthew 19 himself who echoes the very thing that is uttered in Genesis. And here we have Paul. I think that's a vital observation.

Why? Because in a culture that tries to convince people that because the times have changed, there is a new definition or a new pattern for marriage that is acceptable, we have another testimony. In fact, brothers and sisters, be encouraged by this, that you have Moses who wrote Genesis, you have Jesus himself, and you have the apostle Paul that stand by this very same standard. And they lived in different times as well. They lived in a they lived in a time with different philosophies and ideas as well, but they chose to stand firm by what God has said, and you and I must do the same.

Doesn't matter what the culture is pushing. Doesn't matter what people are saying. Doesn't matter what thoughts are being developed. We have the Apostle Paul here living in a very similar culture to us, very sexually confused, very sexually crazy actually. But he himself is standing firm on what God has established from the beginning, and you and I must do the same.

And so we see here that a man and a woman, according to verse 31, in marriage it looks like this. A man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. You've probably heard that more than once if you grew up in the church, but do we really know what that means? And if you really read this verse carefully, what you will see is three elements in that reality. There's three parts to the pattern of marriage in this verse alone.

But before we dive into this, let's go back to the beginning. Let's go to Genesis two, because there's a crucial understanding to this before we dive into this verse. What Paul is echoing is Genesis two twenty four. But before we go to Genesis two twenty four, I want us to look at Genesis two twenty one. As you are turning there, I want you to think about this.

When God created Adam, when God created Adam, who was the first person that he saw? You don't have to answer that out loud. Who was the first person that God allowed Adam to see or who Adam saw? Well, it was God himself. It was God himself.

But now we come here to Genesis two verse 24 one when we realize that God has told himself and to us, really, that it's not good for man to be alone. So he he creates woman, and look what happens in verse 21. So the lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept, took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the lord God had taken from the man, he made into a woman and brought her to the man. So here's the second question.

Who was the first person that Eve saw? It was not Adam. It was God. What does that tell us about relationship? It tells us this, that your number one relationship in life is God.

Adam first saw God, Eve saw God first before they were brought together by God. Why is that important to understand when we when we realize the pattern for marriage? Here's the understanding that though there is a pattern for marriage, and though there is a purpose for marriage, your life purpose is not marriage. It's not. As vital and as much importance God places upon a union and holy matrimony, we see from the beginning that Adam was to prioritize his relationship with God.

Adam and Eve's delight, purpose, identity, pleasure, all those things were rooted in the relationship with God before one another. If you change that order, you will be extremely frustrated, not only in your relationship with your husband or wife, but also in your relationship with God. And so here we even see that God allows Adam to see himself. He He didn't create them at the same time. And he takes Eve even when he creates Eve with Adam on the scene, he does something else with her outside of that, and he allows her to see him before he brings them together.

The first person in your life is Jesus Christ, always. As exciting and as thrilling and as life giving marriage is, it does not replace your relationship with the Lord. Now we come to this verse. It says here in verse 24, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife. There there are some obvious things that we have to read here.

It does not say that men will leave and there will be wives. It doesn't say man and wives. It doesn't say wife and men. One man, one woman. What else do we see?

It doesn't say male will leave male, or male will meet with male, or female will meet with female. No. A male and a female. I hope those things are nonnegotiables. This is foundational understanding.

We know that there is a man who leaves his wife, or rather leaves his parents, comes to meet with his wife and cleaves to her. But now we have to understand what this actually means as we break it down. The first part is understandable here. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother. This part tells us us something concerning relationship.

That in in order for a foundation to be built, there must be a separation from a different kind of relationship. In order for something to start new, there needs to be this decision made by the man and the woman to separate from something in which they are so familiar with, not only familiar, probably the closest relationship that they've known their whole lives, and that is with their parents. And so it just makes sense. In order for you to start a new home, you need to leave your home. And if that's not honored, what will happen is you will not experience the fullness and the freedom of what your relationship should look like.

There will be a lot of frustration. There will be a lot of challenges. There will be a lot of butting heads in that. And so God is giving us an understanding here. If you wanna start a new foundation, you have to leave and separate yourself from something that you have been living with your whole life.

And so there has to be that separation, and this is obvious here that this is a physical separation. This is something in which you have to remove yourself from in order to join yourself to something new. But here's the reality. There's so many people who separate themselves physically from their parents or family, but they don't separate themselves fully. They don't separate themselves fully.

What do I mean by that? That a man can leave his parents physically, but not emotionally. A woman can leave her family physically, but not emotionally. And so you might have a wife that joins a husband, and they're starting a new home, and they're in a new place, but the wife still honors her mother's word or her father's word above her husband's. She brought that into the relationship.

Or you might have a husband who left his family, his parents, but is still more emotionally involved and invested in his parents or family than his wife and neglects her emotionally. And so there has to be this internal separation as well, that I am now making an investment into this other person. She has the relational priority of my life. He has the relational priority in my life. Now why does it say that a man shall leave?

Does that mean that a man is the one who moves if there's a moving decision? Not necessarily. What it does mean is that the man now is understanding as he's making this decision, he is not going to rely on his parents to be the protector and provider of his new relationship. He is taking that upon himself. He is he is stepping into that responsibility as he is stepping into this relationship.

And men who are single, if you wanna step into a relationship, you better have this in mind. You better realize that you are now stepping into a whole nother standard of living. You're stepping into a whole nother responsibility, and God asked of you because of his wisdom and knowing what a relationship look like, that you are not to be dependent upon your parents. You are to take that upon yourself as a man. And so the reason why man is mentioned here is because the weight falls on him concerning responsibility, initiative, and leadership.

So a man shall leave. A man shall leave. And it doesn't mean that you disown your parents. It doesn't mean you don't communicate with them. All it means is that this person now has priority in your life, in every aspect of life.

Many marriages are extremely frustrated because of this simple rule. And we've talked about that in light of the last two messages, but here we're seeing God echoing it again. A man shall leave his father and mother, and do what? Goes to the next part of the pattern here. Hold fast to his wife.

Or another translation, cleave to his wife. So this is the second part. What do we understand here? That where before a man was planning, providing, and protecting with himself in mind mainly, and perhaps his immediate family, all of those things are now directed in love towards his wife. And where a woman before was deciding, dreaming, and delighting mainly with herself in mind and perhaps her immediate family, she now, with honor, lays that down with delight before her husband.

And so what we see here is this mutual surrender to one another and understanding that both these people now are placing each other above all other human relationships. And so significant is marriage, so significant has God uplifted this institution that it even has somewhat of an effect in your relationship with the Lord. Now turn your Bibles to first Corinthians seven thirty two to understand what I'm saying here. First Corinthians seven is a well known passage concerning marriage. There's principles for marriage here.

And if you've ever read first Corinthians seven, you probably got this idea from Paul that he's not really a big fan of marriage. If you've read first Corinthians seven, you probably think to yourself, man, I'm sure Paul believes in marriage, but man, he he's really pushing the singleness thing more than anything. And that might be the impression you get, but there is one verse that changes the whole context of first Corinthians seven. Look at verse 26. He's giving advice in light of a circumstance that the Corinthians church is experiencing.

What is he saying? I think that in view of the present distress, it is good for a person to remain as he is. There was something that the Corinthian church was experiencing in which Paul was giving instruction in light of. Perhaps it was persecution. Perhaps it was something that in his mind, he knew that listen, as we're gonna read in a moment, marriage right now is probably not something that you should pursue, though I'm not putting this restraint on you.

I'm giving you some wisdom in light of the circumstances that you're experiencing. So remember that as you read first Corinthians seven. Now we don't completely separate ourselves from first Corinthians seven because of verse 26, because there are general truths of marriage, yes, in this chapter that we have for all time. But if you I'm saying this because you might get this idea that Paul seems to be advocating that if you are single, you're more spiritual, and that's not necessarily true. He's writing in light of a specific circumstance and context in which he is saying, listen, I'm giving you my advice.

I'm not putting restraint on you. If you have passion, get married. It's better to have that than to commit fornication. But I'm telling you this, that in this present time, and he gives advice, but yet still there are general truths for all time for marriage here, including verse 32. What does it say here?

I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife. Now when he's saying worldly, he's not talking about sinful. He's talking about earthly things, physical things.

And his interests, verse 34, are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. And so listen. This is not, again, Paul saying, if you are single, you're more spiritual.

There are many married couples. In fact, there are many men of God who are men of God because they have wives who are women of God, and who have been able to do much for God because they had that support from their wives. Don't get it twisted. But what we do here is what we see here is a general truth, that when you are married, God so sanctified marriage, He's so elevated to a place of importance, that even spiritual people, there is a division and interest now. Whereas before when you were single, and we're gonna talk about the beauty of singleness sometime these weeks, There's something about singleness in which you can give yourself to God to a degree that you can't when you're married.

Why? Because you have a ministry now in marriage. It requires greater attention, greater energy, greater focus. And what he's saying here is that those things are divided now. It's not sinful, it's not wrong, and nor is it less spiritual.

It's just the reality of marriage. And we have to tie that in with Genesis two twenty four that when you give yourself to marriage, you have to keep that self you have to keep that in mind. Now my my interest and my energy, my focus is gonna be given partly to this person. You're cleaving to her. The the word there is almost like you're glued to her.

You're joining to it. There's a fusion that's there now in which you are part of another person's life and they are part of yours. And so much so that the Lord himself even says through the Holy Spirit that your your interests will be divided, that your attention will be divided. That's not necessarily wrong. It's just the reality of marriage, which gives you a little bit of a taste of what we're gonna speak about concerning singleness to take advantage of that season of your life concerning your relationship with the Lord.

And this is where it comes back to Genesis two twenty four, to the last part of this pattern. And the two shall become one flesh. The two shall become one flesh. God's pattern here highlights the exclusive experience that is only or should be to be known within the boundaries of marriage. When he's speaking about the two becoming one flesh, he's clearly speaking about the sexual union that is reserved for those that are in holy matrimony.

For those who have given themselves in covenant relationship to one another is this final pattern only to be experienced with. And this verse alone tells us important things in light of sexual intimacy. First thing it tells us is that sex is God's holy design. Sex is God's holy design. Do you realize that God had given this instruction, Genesis two twenty four, before the fall?

Sex is not a result of the fall. Many people believe that, believe it or not. The pleasure, the joy, the the bonding power that is found in that act is something that is a pre fall reality. And so there's a holy thing about it. That's why I believe when ministers speak about it, they should be very mature and reverent.

So many people that tackle the subject are so flippant and they just wanna sound casual with it, And even the scriptures themselves, when they speak of these acts, they do so in a veiled manner. They they wanna keep it holy and sacred because it is holy and sacred. And unfortunately, among so many Christians, you you say that word and you've they feel dirty, and they think it's a dirty thing when they don't realize that it is a pre fall reality. When God had said in his creation process, it is good, it is good, it is good, it includes sexual intimacy. He didn't say everything is good except that part.

That part is like, yeah, that's kinda fleshly. No. He says it is good, and we should as believers see it as something that is good. And one preacher said it this way, we do not think enough about sex. Not we do not think about sex enough.

That's a completely different understanding. But we do not highly esteem this thing as much as we should. In fact, if we really highly esteem it the way God does, I'm sure many people will be able to fight this temptation in a greater way. The two shall become one flesh. This is sacred.

It is God ordained, and like the rest of creation, it is something that God declared to be good. And listen, when God instituted this physical aspect within marriage, He did so with a multifaceted purpose. God didn't just do this for just no reason. No no. There was a reason behind why He gave marriage and married couples this gift within their relationship.

Number one is the obvious reason, procreation. That this is to reproduce the human race. This is to multiply, and he did so by making it a pleasurable experience, giving people a greater motivation to want to do this act. And so this is something in which lines up with Genesis one, that you shall be fruitful and multiply. But listen, so many people have limited this to just that.

So many people have brought it down to just that. In fact, the church fathers, though they did a lot of things right and though they gave so much of what we believe in greater understanding concerning theology, many church fathers have gotten the understanding of sex very wrong. There is this influence in their day, certain philosophies and certain thought patterns that believed that if anything was physical, it was evil, and everything spiritual is good. If it's anything pleasurable to the flesh, then it's wrong, and everything spiritual is good. And unfortunately, many of the church fathers have allowed that thinking to come in and to infiltrate their understanding, and to completely remove themselves from the word.

And so many church fathers have taught this. In fact, it has reached all the way to this point in time of history where they said, listen. Sex within marriage even is simply for procreation. That sex within this boundary, yes, it's only to fulfill this reproducing command. And many many people throughout history have felt guilty, and many people have even destroyed their marriages because of that kind of thinking.

Why they came to that conclusion? Again, it's because of the philosophies of that day, But we have to come to what the scripture says. What does the Bible tell us? And the Bible tells us something about this act that God has deposited within marriage. And this is one of the great things about it, that within a relationship under God, it is to express it is to express one's love for another, and it is to experience a depth of intimacy that cannot be known in of any other human relationship.

There's an expression of love that's there in this physical act, and there's this experience of deep intimacy that you cannot, at least should not, experience with any other person in the world. Think about it. If God had created marriage to be between a man and a woman, and God had instituted that they would be one man, one wife for the rest of their lives, What he does here with this act is that he deposits it and he gives it as a gift in order to make that faithfulness between that couple more secure, more solidified. He gives this gift, and he created sex in a way that would strengthen the attachment between a man and his wife. And so sex itself is an investment to increasing faithfulness in a marriage.

And it is a gift. It is a gift given by God so that this couple can know some kind of a joy in their relationship. Realize that. Realize that the scriptures gives us language for that. Realize that the Bible gives us an entire book dedicated to how God advocates and champions and has created that, the Song of Solomon.

It is an investment to increasing faithfulness. It is a gift from God to know joy in a relationship. And the bonding power of sexual intimacy is far greater than many people have thought and currently think. That the consequences of this act can have great positive influence or great negative influence. It can go either way.

It can be glorious or it can be disastrous. It could be joyful or it can be the most painful thing. And the very language of Genesis two twenty four describes it, that the two shall become one flesh. It's there. That connectivity is even spoken in the very command that when these two come together, there is a oneness that is known.

Again, that is not known with any other person on the face of the earth. Think about how beautiful that is. That when you say your I do's, and when you have saved yourself for that moment, what you are saying to that person is, I have kept this part of my life completely reserved for you. There is no other person in this life or in this world that I will give this to. It belongs completely to you.

Now if you don't believe that to be true, if you don't believe that there is this bonding power to sex, if you don't believe that there is an influence that can come about when a person gives himself this way to another person, How is it then that those who have ended a relationship that was sexually active are more emotionally bruised than those who might have ended a relationship that was not sexually active? That a person who gives themselves this way and then does it in a manner in which does not honor God, whether they end a relationship or was before marriage and that relationship is cut off, you know what happens? They experience a greater pain than a person who might have been in a relationship and did not go to that length. There's great power with this. So what does God do in his wisdom, knowing what he created and the power that it contains?

Calls us to a standard concerning sexuality for our joy and for our good. You might have grown up as a Christian hearing, don't do this. Why? Because it's bad. Just wrong.

Don't do it. Okay. And you know what? That doesn't really help a lot of people because they go for it anyway. But you when you realize how holy it is, and you realize how powerful it is, and you realize what investment it can make into your marriage, I'm sure again that you will have greater hesitation to act upon this outside of God's ordained way.

The early church fathers again got this wrong, but we see here that the second part of understanding sex concerning Genesis two twenty four, yes, number one, that it is a holy design, but number two, it is exclusive for those who are in marriage. It is exclusive for those who are in marriage. This is God's standard for sexuality, and the devil is attacking this more than any time. He has been doing it throughout history, but do you realize that in understanding the holy power that this act has, he is going full fledged against it in our society. He's convincing people in this day, young people especially, as young as possible, that you can perform this act, and it can be harmless, it can be recreational, it can be something that you just do, it's something that will just release some pressure, it's something that will just just help you actually.

They're saying all these things, not realizing not realizing what it actually affects. Not realizing the depths of its influence on a person. And listen. Let's make the connection. If sex and sexuality has a great contribution to marriage, to bringing a couple into a nearness and a oneness that is so profound, what is he doing?

His attack on sexuality is ultimately an attack on marriage. That he is telling people to give themselves over to more than one person, to, in fact, give yourself to as many people as possible. He's telling a young man to do that in his high school years. Now it's even younger. He's telling a a young girl to do this, convincing them with all the craziness that's being pumped into our brains on a daily basis.

And guess what? When that person finally finds a person that he wants to commit himself to, and when that individual wants to give herself to the husband that she wants to live the rest of her life with, that bonding power now has been loosened, ultimately affecting the marriage to some degree. If you don't believe this, you're fooling yourself. And all he's trying to convince people is this is something that you can do recreationally, not telling you that there is actually a transaction of the soul that takes place in that act. That there's a giving of yourself and a receiving of another person that happens in that moment.

Oh, no. No. No. It's just a physical thing. Just blow off some steam and move on.

And all the counseling sessions around churches in America would testify otherwise. God had created this from the beginning to be so powerful. No wonder Satan wants to reverse it, ultimately affecting the faithfulness that can be experienced within a marriage and the love and the intimacy that can be known within that. Realize this. And so what we see here is that there is advice for us whether you're married, whether you're single, even if you have committed any sexual act outside of God's standard.

I wanna speak to these three people. I wanna give advice from the word of God to married couples. If you're still in first Corinthians chapter seven, look at verse five. First Corinthians chapter seven verse five. Before you go to verse five, look at verse one.

Paul says, now concerning the matters about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. So the Corinthian church has some questions about marriage and about sexuality, and guess what? Paul had some answers. The church needs to give people answers concerning this matter. The church should not be afraid to speak of these things.

As long as they do so according to the word of God and with reverence, people need to know. And the Corinthians has some questions, and Paul is giving some answers. And what does he say in verse five concerning sexual relations within a marriage? Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time that you may devote yourselves to prayer, but then come together again so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self control. A husband and a wife depriving one another of their bodies, no matter what the motive may be, and though there are right motives and there are times for that, if there is a wrong motive behind that, even if there are spiritual reasons, as he says here, could be detrimental to the marriage in the long term.

You're robbing that experience from the other person to know a nearness and to know a closeness and an intimacy that God has instituted for marriage. And to deprive one another is a dangerous thing. It opens the door for destruction to come in. It opens the possibility for adultery to come in. It opens the door for pornography to creep in.

And so he says here, don't even if you're praying, even if you have a season of time where you wanna just spend time with the Lord, which tells me something about marriage, that you don't divorce with God when you get married with somebody, like so many people do. They get married and they divorce with God. They don't care about God. They're not zealous for God anymore. No.

No. No. No. He's saying here, even if you want to get away, to get to know God on a deeper level, and to be intimate with God, don't do that for too long, lest Satan come and tempt you. Practical wisdom here.

Come back together quickly. And when you come back together, realize this, that sex is less about you getting something and more about you giving yourself. The biblical understanding of this is that this act is actually you giving yourself to someone else, rather you getting something from somebody else. Look at verse three. What does it say?

The husband should give to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. I'm giving a part of me to you. I'm laying this part of my life down to you with joy and with delight. It's an act of giving more than an act of receiving. Do you see even how God designed sex to be a selfless thing?

There is no license in the scriptures for one party in a marriage to withhold this intimacy from somebody else to either manipulate or get a point across. There there is no room for that. There is no right for that. That is dangerous. For somebody to hold that back for manipulation to know that they can get that person to do something because they are reserving that, that's not scriptural at all.

Again, it's it's about you giving yourself away, not you trying to get something from somebody else, and using sexual intimacy as a vehicle to move your selfish agenda in marriage. And so ask the Lord to sanctify your understanding of this, and to have the heart of God relating to this. The scriptures encourage that this type of intimacy is not just about rules and regulations. Yeah, I give myself. There is a joy in this, and there is a blessing in this, and there is a thrill involved with this.

And we're not gonna take the time to see how the scriptures clearly display that. So marriage couples, see what the scripture says about sex. Take this word. Let it saturate your mind and obey it in faith knowing that it will be for your pleasure. I wanna speak to the singles now.

And you might be facing great temptation. Unless you said your I do's, yes, you might be engaged, but I wanna be speaking to you in the same category as well. You might be facing great temptation. And on top of that, you might be thinking, hey. You may have maybe have thought this thought.

Well, if God wanted me to wait for my wife, for my husband to give myself in this way, why did he allow me to experience these temptations at a young young age? Why is there such a long period between me feeling these emotions and coming to the place of finding somebody, and me having to fight this almost on a daily basis? Well, know this, that when God had created you and me, he did create us with appetites. He did. You have an appetite for food.

You have an appetite for drink. And guess what? Human nature has an appetite for this kind of physical intimacy. That that's right. So I must I must satisfy this appetite like food and drink.

Hold on there, cowboy. You can survive without sex. You can't survive without food and water. You can live your entire life not performing this act, and you will be a okay in your survival. Food and water?

No. This appetite? Yes. Next time you are fighting this temptation, next time you feel like it's overwhelming you and it's actually overriding all the other appetites you might have, realize this. Realize this.

Let this be a a a thought for you. I can survive without this. In the moment, it might not feel like it. In the moment, you might feel like if I don't perform a certain act, this is actually going to do some harm to me. No.

It's not. You're gonna be fine. You can survive without it. And as awesome as it is in marriage, a marriage, you can have a marriage without this. And there are some people who have unfortunate circumstances where a person can't do that.

A marriage can still survive. It's a joyful thing in marriage. It's a thrilling thing in marriage. It is a great vehicle for to to bring people together, but you can survive without this appetite. Realize that.

It's not a necessary thing to gratify in order for your survival to be prolonged. But with that, I hope up to this point that you would have a fresh faith to fight this temptation in your single years. Until the moment in which you give yourself under God and before people as a witness that you are married to a person, would you fight this fight of purity with what you just heard concerning the investment that it will make into your marriage? If there's any motivation that you would have, and there should be many, but if there's anyone that you should add to your fight, let it be this. I'm keeping myself.

I am reserving myself. I am protecting myself for the sake of my wife. You don't know who your wife is? Your future wife. By faith, your future wife.

By faith, your future husband. Engage people, you have all the more. You know who you're gonna marry. For those who don't know they're gonna marry, would you in faith fight this fight knowing that I don't know who this person is yet, but I'm keeping myself so that I can invest in my marriage. I wanna I wanna give something that will contribute to our bonding and to our our attachment to one another.

Believe that. Fight for that. Fight for your wife. Fight for your future husband. That's what we see here is that there is even advice for those who have committed this act.

Because you're hearing about the bonding power and you're hearing about what it does and you're hearing and probably up to this point you're thinking, I had messed up because I had given myself maybe more than one person. But I wanna tell you this, you might not be able to change your past, but you can determine what your future will look like. And you must believe that God is able, one, to forgive, willing to forgive, two, heal the deepest wounds possible, and not only heal, but preserve you until you give yourself to that person. Believe that. And believe that when you come in Christ, you're a new creation.

When you're in him, it's a new life. It's a new start. Start fresh with God. Walk with him and commit yourself to fight, yes, for your marriage, but also for his glory. Don't use your mistakes from the past as a crutch to continue in that sin because you thought to yourself, well, I already done this and I already messed up, so might as well just keep going into it.

No. Ask the lord. Fight for this and believe that he has the power to so rewire your mind, to so renew your heart that you coming into that season of marriage will be a glorious one. He's able to restore. He's able to redeem.

And so believe that. Believe that according to the word of God, and believe that for yourself. We talked about the pattern of marriage, and we just learned that God has a pattern just from Genesis two twenty four. But this pattern also leads to a purpose. What is God's purpose for marriage?

Is it just for companionship? Companionship is part of it. Is it so that a man and a woman can reflect the relationship with Christ in the church as a as a testimony to the world? That's part of it. Is it something that helps a person look more like Jesus in a sanctifying way?

Because realize that whether you're a man or a woman, when you come into marriage, it's gonna require greater humility. It's gonna pull out of you greater love. It's gonna pull out of you greater patience. If you wanna if you wanna know how you can be refined to the person of Christ, marriage will help you do that. But is that the only purposes?

Is there another purpose? Those things are included. But God even gives us a very clear mandate in his understanding of instituting marriage. Malachi. Malachi two fifteen.

This is profound. In the book of Malachi two fifteen, the Lord gives his indictments to the people of Israel concerning how they've treated their marriage. And he says, did he not make them one with a portion of the spirit in their union? This is probably one of the hardest verses in the Hebrew to interpret. That's why in different translations, there might be a different slants.

With a portion of the spirit in their union, and what was the one God seeking? So here we understand that there is God establishing the fact that they're gonna become one. We already talked about that. Not only that, that the spirit of God is mingled in that union. But what was God seeking in bringing a man and a woman together?

Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. Godly offspring. Marriage has been instituted for a man and a woman to come together as a team to do what? To nurture and disciple a new generation to follow the ways of the Lord.

I hope that as you hear this, you're gonna you're gonna understand marriage in a fuller way. Companionship, yes. Sanctifying, yes. All those things are great. But God says, there's a mission that I have in mind in marriage, that when a godly man and a god fearing woman come together, that they would produce godly offspring to multiply Christ followers is an aspect of the call for the Christian couple.

It's not the only, but it is a main part part of it, because there's some couples who can't have kids. That's true. We gotta be sensitive to that. But God's intention is this, that you were to raise up Christ followers. What an honor.

What a privilege. What an excitement. What a what a way to rewire your understanding of who your wife is. She's your partner. He's your partner.

You're investing, you're planting, you're depositing something in your children that will live out the gospel, God willing, even after your lifetime. That is you, woman of God. You, man of God, long for the glory of God. You have been changed by the gospel. This should be your motivation, that as you come together with that person, you so love God that you're gonna invest in your children, that even when you go down six feet under, you have offspring that are still living and moving about in the earth, perhaps going to different nations and places and workplaces to glorify the God that you so love.

What an honor and a privilege. And this is why I encourage women all the time, don't you dare ever belittle your role as a wife and as a mother. So many people kinda object to this idea of the central woman who's in the home to raise up her family, and they think like, is that what I'm limited to? Have I been brought down? I have all these gifts, these dreams, these ideas, these passions, and rightfully so.

God wants you to use those things. But think about the call that he's given you as a mother to pour into these young ones, to be an investment to the renewal of their mind, to train them up in the ways of the Lord, to be an example. And I'm not obviously a mother, but I have a mother, and I know different mothers. And I can tell you this, even those who have made great sacrifices to raise up their children. I even have heard of one who was a medical doctor but gave herself to just raising up her children wholeheartedly.

Raising them up, raising them up, raising them up. And she even said with her own lips that when I see who they are now, because all of them serve the Lord and have godly wives, it was worth it. It was so worth it. Investing my time, investing my energy, putting a pause on my life to just pour into them was so worth it. And so your marriage, young man, young woman, your marriage to some degree, because it is a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church, should inspire your kids to love Christ and to love the church.

As they watch your life, as they watch your life, and as you are a walking, breathing, living picture of that in the home, in the living room, in the kitchen, in your travels, would they look at your relationship and say, because my father treats my wife in such a way, I wanna be a part of Christ. And because my wife my mother treats her husband in such a way, I wanna be a part of the church. Your marriage has the potential to make Christ and the church attractive to your children. So there is a mission here. There is a partnership here, and there is something that you and I have to realize, that there is something greater than even companionship.

Would you be surprised that there is a godly example of this with a person that you might not even thought of? That there is an example of this partnership displayed for us and probably a place in the bible that you might have thought of. Would you say that Samson was a godly man? I mean, he's in the hall of faith, but there is one thing for certain in that debate. He had godly parents.

Have you ever realized that his parents were so godly? Go to Judges chapter 13. Judges chapter 13. There's a man named Manoah, which is Samson's father, and there is his wife who is unnamed. She was barren, and something happens.

A messenger comes, the angel of the Lord, and to tell this barren woman that she is to have a child. Now he is to be consecrated unto God. In verse six, it says, then the woman came and told her husband, a man of God came to me and his appearance was like the appearance of the angel of God, very awesome. I did not ask him where he was from and he did not tell me his name, but he said to me, behold, you shall conceive and bear a son. So then drink no wine or strong drink and eat nothing unclean, for the child shall be a Nazarite to God from the womb to the day of his death.

And so you know what I see here though? That this angel does not appear to both of them at the same time, appears to the wife. And the wife makes this decision to go tell her husband. She runs to the husband because what she realizes, we're in this together. We are a team.

We're partners. And she goes, listen. This this this angel, this man of God, came up to me and told me that I'm gonna have a child, but I didn't ask where he came from. Now look what the husband does in verse eight. The Manoah prayed to the Lord and said, oh lord, please let the man of God whom he sent come against us and to teach us what we are to do with the child who will be born.

And God listened to the voice of Manoah. And what happens to to fast forward? He appears to the woman again, and what does she do? She runs back to the husband. You just see this symphony in their marriage.

This oneness spiritually, this connection that they have, this concern, this mutual relationship with God that they are sharing together. And Manoah comes to this man, and look at verse 12. How precious is this verse? And Manoah said to the man, now when your words come true, what is to be the child's manner of life and what is his mission? Husbands, fathers, mothers, that should be your collective prayer for your children.

Lord, what is the manner of his life and what is his mission? What is he called to do? Where is she called to go? Lord, how can we invest in them? How can we invest in him?

How can we invest God, give us the wisdom. God, give us the instruction. God, give us the leading. God, give us sensitivity to your spirit. God, show us how we can pour into them.

Because God had in mind that Samson would be a deliverer for the nation of Israel. And this couple, understanding the possibility of that, are asking God in their humility, would you help us? Do you see the picture here between this man and woman in partnership in light of the fact that they have a mission? You have a mission in your marriage. You have a mission as a couple.

How thrilling and exciting. Unfortunately, so many couples are limiting their future and the the future of their children to what kind of job they will have, and if they just don't do drugs, and if they just attend church once a week. You know what this couple is saying? What is their mission, God? Reveal it to them.

Reveal it to us. Show us how we can posture them to fulfill the call of God on their lives. And you might be saying, well, I'm hearing you. And this this is this is where it gets complicated because this is God's ideal, but that's not the reality for so many people. One gets saved in a marriage, the other person's not saved.

One's more spiritually zealous than the other, doesn't care a thing about their children, doesn't care about the call of God in their own lives. What do you do in all these different circumstances? What do we do in all these different situations? Is there hope for a person who might be carrying more of the weight spiritually whether man or woman? Absolutely.

Don't forget about Timothy. Don't ever forget about Timothy, where the bible and the holy spirit gives us this man, and gives us his context, and gives us his situation to show us that there is always hope for the next generation even if the parents are not necessarily in partnership. What did Paul say to Timothy in second Timothy one five? I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother, Lois, and your mother, Eunice, and now I am sure dwells in you as well. Notice he didn't mention the father.

Timothy, I'm reminded that you are the man that you are because of what your mother, what your grandmother invested in you. You know what description we have of Timothy's father? Acts sixteen one. You don't have to turn there. You can if you want.

Paul came also to the Derbe into Lystra. A disciple was there named Timothy, the son of a Jewish woman who was a believer, but his father was a Greek. People debate who this father was or what kind of influence he had on his child and his family. Some even say that he might have died early on in Timothy's life. But from what I what I see here is that the mother was a believer, and perhaps the the husband was actually pagan.

Nevertheless, it did not derail Timothy in his walk with God. And and and I wanna encourage what side of the line you're on, wives that are not with godly husbands, godly husbands that are not with godly wives. Know this, as painful as that might be, and as prayerful as you might be concerning your spouse, may your heart and mind also be consumed with the mission and the possibility that you can invest in your children. And you don't even know who that child might become for the glory of God. You have no idea what your faithfulness even in brokenness can bring about in another generation.

You don't know if your son will be a Timothy. You don't know if your daughter will be some somebody great for God. Did Lois, did Eunice have it in mind that one day Timothy would be the pastor of the church of Ephesus? Do you think that they had it in mind that one day the apostle Paul himself would recruit this young man to join him in the mission for the gospel? No idea, I'm sure of it.

But I'm sure they were glad that they invested in their son once they knew. And once they saw Timothy leave that house to go and join the apostle Paul to serve the kingdom of God, what do you think happened to that mom's heart? Despite the brokenness of of a husband that wasn't serving God, what kind of joy do you think filled her heart when she knew that all the times in the word of God, all the times of kneeling beside Timothy on his bedside praying to God, all the times of telling him to beware of all these things and these temptations, all the encouragements, all the things that I've told him in the word of God concerning men of God who've been used by, God. All of this is worth it. Don't give up if you are with somebody, unfortunately, that does not see the same thing that you see.

Take all that energy, bring it in intercession. Take all that energy, invest it in your children. Invest it in a future Timothy. You have no idea. God's pattern and purpose for marriage.

God's pattern and purpose for marriage. Is this something that you will submit to? That marriage is between a man and a woman? That God's goodness and wisdom, he creates sex to be exclusively experienced within marriage? That the sacrifices made from each individual concerning submission and leadership has been given to enrich your relationship?

Will you trust God's pattern? Will you trust God's purpose? That although it is for companionship and to enjoy another individual in light of worshiping God, there is yet a higher call, a deeper call, an exhaustive purpose in it that you have the influence to pour into a people, whether one, two, three, four, five, as many as God gives you, to go out as Christ's followers even beyond your time? I hope so. Let's pray together.

God's pattern, if it is honored, will lead you to his purpose, and his purpose will ultimately lead you to pleasure. His pleasure, his holy pleasure. And as we've been doing, if you can in your own heart, just by faith for the glory of God in where you're sitting right now, ask the Lord, Lord, I'm praying for my brothers and sisters that are married. God, would they see your pattern? Would they see your purpose?

Pray that for your own marriage. If you're engaged, pray that for yourself. And even if you're single, ask God for the fresh faith to fight for your purity and for the investment of your future wife and your future husband. Father, we come before you. And as the psalmist has said so many times, I rejoice at the work of your hands.

And Lord, today we choose to rejoice at the work of your hands, not just in creation and in nature, but in marriage. We rejoice in how you have created marriage to be with a heart full, with a heart trusting that the way you've planned it to be ordained and to be experienced is for our pleasure and for your glory. And Lord, we just ask for every married couple here that they would realize the purpose of their union, that they would take it upon themselves to live for this and to prayfully pray to their children and to be an example in the way they treat one another. God, for those who are engaged in which temptation is even heightened to a greater degree, convinced that they are for one another, Lord, would they would they believe that if they just wait, it will make that experience so much greater, that it would be free from guilt and shame and regret. Lord, for those who are single and perhaps have had a past before Christ or who are perhaps living in it right now, any sexual sin, lord, we just pray that they would have a fresh motivation to forsake that sin.

And Lord, they would have a fresh faith to believe that you can heal the wounds of that sin. And Lord, would you give every person the power to maintain that purity, not not in a way in which we are thinking that we are withholding ourselves from joy, but believing that we are actually investing in a joy to come. So, Lord, help every person in every season of life in this place. But father in heaven, we come to you this morning to worship you in song in light of your creation in marriage. We come to to sing to you because of your wisdom.

We come to worship you because of your goodness towards us by giving us this gift. And so Lord, we submit to the authority of the word of God willingly this morning, and we say thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Lord, may you be glorified in every person's life this morning.

In your name we pray. Amen.