God’s Plan for Harmony in The Family - Pastor Daniel Batarseh (Ephesians Series)

On the English side of the service, we've been going through a series in the book of Ephesians, and we have now come to the place in which the apostle Paul, inspired by the Holy Spirit, wants to grant us instruction concerning the Christian household, the Christian household. And because of his audience, which is mainly believers, Paul doesn't go into detail about different circumstances concerning a household where there might be a mix of different types of believers and non believers, whether they're parents that are believers and kids that are not, or kids that are believers and parents that are not. He's really focusing on a household that as a whole declares the name of Jesus Christ to be lord. There are other parts in scripture where he gives instruction for different circumstances, but this is his main point here. And if we really understand how these letters were read as Paul penned them, yes, by the spirit sent out to the leaders of these churches, what would happen is that the leaders of the church would take this letter and would read it out loud to the entire church, and everybody would be in attendance.

So there you have the children, you would have wives, you would have fathers. And so it's very similar to a service just like this where we're together today. And Paul here has just finished discussing what God's mind is for a relationship between a father or a husband rather, and a wife. He he grants us what is needed for Christ to be exalted in that kind of a union, and how in a marriage you can experience the fullness of joy through obedience. But now the idea of relationship shifts, and now he is transitioning into the relationship, and what God has in mind between, not husband and wife, but parents and children.

And this is vitally important, because this truth, marriage and the Christian household, as some of you already know, is sandwiched between two other vital truths that will grant us so much insight to understanding the Christian household. That one truth is in Ephesians five, concerning believers and how they must be aware that there is the Holy Spirit to help us live this faith out, including you honoring and fulfilling your role in the household. But the other side, the other piece of the bread in this sandwich is Ephesians chapter six later on, where the apostle Paul gives us insight that believers, every single believer is under constant spiritual warfare. And how fitting that this follows the idea of the household. So we must be aware that we are, yes, granted the Holy Spirit to fulfill and honor what God has called us to fulfill as Christians in a household, but also we must be fully aware that there is a devil on a mission to wreak havoc in your house.

You don't have to necessarily look too far to realize that there is an attack, an onslaught on marriage in our day. But for the devil, marriage is is not enough. Because of his destructive nature, he would love to shred the home to the smallest pieces possible, destroying any hope for harmony within the household by even going after children. By going even after fathers against their children and vice versa. And so if the enemy can't influence or rip apart a marriage, you better believe that he'll go for the next thing.

And that's to turn the parents against their children, and their children against their parents. And if he had a choice to destroy a type of family, believe that it is the Christian family. If he has a motivation to destroy marriage because of one of many reasons, and one of them being that it is a picture of Christ and the church, and he hates Christ, and he hates the church, and anything that would represent it, there is something spiritual about the relationship between a parent and a child that he would love to destroy along with it. And so perhaps his persuasion may lead towards the children first because their minds are still in development, and they are still moldable. So we we find texts like this.

And if you have your bibles, I would encourage you to turn there to Psalms one twenty seven verse three. Psalms one twenty seven verse three tells us something precious about children. Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord. Inheritance, a fount of joy, a life altering gift that's wrapped up in flesh and blood. Flesh and blood.

And the scriptures liken children to be like arrows in the hand of a warrior. Speaking of how parents, because of their investment in children, because of that inheritance from God, will be protected and will be comforted by their children when they become old and frail. But it also speaks of the godly parents that have these weapons in their hands that are trimmed and trained so that they could be launched out into the world and become a threat to the kingdom of darkness. And you know what the enemy would love to do? Is to take those arrows out of the hands of parents and place them in his own fingertips and pull back and launch those very arrows back into the hearts of those parents, wounding them by their very own.

The enemy would love to convince and make parents believe that their children are not a blessing from God, but a burden. He would love to bring them to a place in which they would even question the goodness of God because he has influenced them and used them against themselves. And how does he do this? By persuading them to live a rebellious disobedient life. By convincing them that their parents don't have insight into life, that they're trying to restrict them from enjoying life, and by ultimately recruiting him and her for his own purpose.

But perhaps we have to see here the other aspect of it, but before then, I wanna just address the children right off the get go. Children, teens, under the supervision of your parents, would you choose after this message today? Would you make it up in your heart that you will not be a weapon in the hands of Satan against your own household? Proverbs seventeen twenty five tells us, a foolish son is grief to his father. A foolish son brings grief to his father and bitterness to her who bore him.

Oh, young people. Do not be a reason for your parents to read a text like Psalms one twenty seven three and four and not be able to say, oh, yes. They are indeed an inheritance from God because of your unwillingness to submit to their God fearing counsel. Or right from the beginning, would you choose to submit to their wisdom? Would you choose to submit to their authority and not surrender to the flesh and surrender to this antichrist culture that is perverting the purposes of God?

Would you choose rather to be an arrow in their hands as they are under God's authority, preparing you for life to come rather than being something that causes them pain? And perhaps the enemy can't persuade the children as easily, so so he'll he'll go for the parents. He'll find his way specifically to fathers. Notice in Ephesians six four, it says, fathers do not provoke your children. Not mothers.

Fathers. Now mothers can do that as well, but there is something about the role of a father. There is an influential aspect of his position. And we have to understand in light of scripture that a father has been granted the role to teach and to reflect the love of Jesus Christ to the household. And the authority he carries as a father, by default as a father, can either be a wonderful investment into the overall well-being of a child, or can be the very reason why they do not grow in God.

You do not know how many children have a marred understanding of the heavenly father because of their failure of the earthly father. You you don't understand how many people have come to a place in which they don't realize why why they can't grow in the understanding of the love of God because they hear things from the pulpit like, God your heavenly father is always there for you. You know what they're thinking? Well, my father wasn't always there for me. God loves you unconditionally.

God is willing to forgive and God is what Well, I I didn't I didn't know that love. And we'll talk about this more later on. But let's be encouraged in light of this text that no matter how strong the flesh may be, no matter even the failures up to this point, whether you're a child, whether you're a father or a mother, what we have been granted through this text is hope and truth that we'll be able to establish our homes again in which God almighty can be glorified and we can experience true goodness in light of obedience. Meaning what? This morning, there is hope for restoration for your family.

Can we just be honest together this morning? Can we just be honest with ourselves this morning? A lot of people came in today with smiles and handshakes, and God bless you, and God is good. But probably even on your way here, there was a close fist fight in the car. There was yelling at the house.

And in fact, if you're really honest, so many people are just putting on a facade because there's hell at home. Even with those who named the name of Christ, especially with those who named the name of Christ. And guess what? That's been a problem since the beginning. Think about all the families in the Old Testament.

Think about Noah and Ham. Think about David and Jesse. Think about Jacob and his sons. Think about Eli and his sons. Think about Samson and his parents.

What do they all have in common? They were all people that were called to represent God, but there were also families that had this dysfunction. But guess what? Just because it's the norm and just because it's something that's been happening from the beginning does not mean it's God's will. It's not God's desire.

So we have to take heed to this. What is the necessary ingredients to develop a Christ centered home? Well, let's come back to our main text in Ephesians six. According to our text, when each member of the household responds to their role faithfully, then we can expect a shift in the home. When each member of the home responds to their role faithfully, This is more than just coming to church together as a family.

This is more than just naming ourselves as Christians. This is about you and I absorbing practical understanding of what it means to be a child, father and mother in order for us to reap the most out of God's will for our lives. And so it's gonna require a lot of humility both from the children and fathers and mothers if we wanna enter into this realm of blessing for our household. And I know that's very difficult because probably throughout this message, as this text is being addressed to one side of the party, you're probably thinking that, yeah, that's for them. They better they better listen to that part.

Fathers don't provoke your children. When the the apostle Paul doesn't do that, he doesn't say children make sure that your fathers love you. He says children obey your parents. He comes to the fathers. He didn't say, fathers, make sure that your children obey.

He says, no. Don't provoke them to anger and give them instruction. So throughout this message, would you just think about yourself for a moment? I know it's tempting to think about others and and rightfully so. But just for this moment, ask the Lord in humility, what can I do to bring a change in my own house?

What can I do? What investment can I make? And so verse one tells us, children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Don't you love that? Why?

Because it's right. Have you ever asked your parents something? They say, why? Because it's right. It's just the thing to do.

For this is right. Children, obey your parents. Honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment with a promise. So the apostle Paul links obedience to honor.

And obedience according to the scripture means that one complies to the demands of another without resistance. More complicated. But if there's any clarity we can get, it's from Leviticus nineteen three. At the same command that says in Exodus, honor your father and mother, says in Leviticus nineteen three, regard rather revere your mother and father. So clarified definition is that I am to regard my father, I am to regard my mother with a deep reverence in both word and deed.

And so he says children do these things. And And this is something that we are lacking in our days and not. We are living in a day that does not know honor. We are living in a day that we don't know how to regard authority. We don't know how to submit to authority.

We don't recognize authority. It's a self centered culture that we live in. It's a it's a culture in which we know how to answer back with a quick tongue, but not for the Christian household. Children obey your parents. This is for those specifically that are living under the authority, the provision, and the protection of their parents.

Those that are under the supervision and are held responsible by mom and dad, this is who he is mainly speaking of. There's no age here necessarily, but the idea is those who are in their child years and their teen years that have not reached a place of independence. And he says here that obedience is for you. Which they now are making decisions and are required to, in which they will be held responsible for. And so this call for children to obey their parents is very difficult for somebody who's in their 20s that has started their own family, for example.

Says, obey your parents in the Lord. What does that mean? Obedience in the Lord. This is what it means. That children, clearly they're old enough to have some ability to reason and to think about these things.

I want you to obey with the motivation that you're really doing it for God. And oftentimes, that is the greatest motivation that you need. This is true for women when they submit to their husbands, and for husbands when they love their wives as Christ loved the church. That if you've run out of motivation to do it because of the object in which you are trying to serve, be driven by this, that it pleases God. Colossians three twenty tells us the same thing.

Children, obey your parents. Why? For this pleases the Lord. And so whenever you feel like your obedience to your parents is being challenged by other voices, or you feel like your desire for this particular thing is boiling over, would you quench it by the reality of this if you're a true follower of Christ? This pleases God.

I'm gonna do this. Maybe I think I'm right, and maybe I think that this is better for me, but I'm just gonna do this because God sees me in this moment, and it pleases him. If you need any mental image to help you into that, remember Jesus Christ who modeled this even as a child who took on flesh. It's not it's even beyond that. It's beyond the fact that Jesus honored his parents as as as a child.

No. He created his own parents. The god of the universe created his own parents, and he still subjected himself under them as a model. So what excuse do you have? Did you create your parents?

And so these children are to obey in the Lord, and that also means that if your parents ever demand something out of you that's out of balance to scripture, you have every right not to obey. Obedience in the Lord. But here's what's so vital, is that just because young adults in this house, you have moved on in life, and naturally you have your own freedom, you were not dismissed from this command. Obedience. Includes obedience, but it is not limited to obedience.

And if Jesus Christ modeled obedience as a child, surely he modeled honor as a young adult. Say where was that? Out of the most beautiful place that you can think of, the cross. In John nineteen twenty six, this is when Jesus is writhing in pain, when the sins of this world were upon him, When he's he was experiencing things that you and I cannot even imagine, being mocked, back split open against a wooden cross. What was going on through his mind?

Well, at one point, this was going on through his mind. When Jesus saw his mother, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, woman, behold your son. Then he said to the disciple, behold your mother. And from that hour, the disciple took her to his own Listen. He was thinking about his mother while dying on the cross, which grants you and I wonderful insights concerning what honor really looks like.

Honor is for, one, to regard their parents and concern themselves with their well-being, with their well-being. Somebody was saying yesterday that Jesus did not come up with this idea that God would take care of Mary. He he had it established where a human would take care of his mother. And there he is on the cross, thinking about her, emotional needs and physical needs, and even financial to some degree. And Jesus is here showing us that, yes, you as a young person may leave your father and mother as a call to marriage, as a call to walking forward in life, but it does not mean you abandoned them completely.

That is not the call. Clearly, Joseph is not on the scene anymore. Perhaps he died at this point. And what Jesus has in his mind even with his dying breath is to ensure that his future will be intact while he departs from the earth. So as you move on in life, please don't move on from the care and need of your parents.

That's what it means to honor. But it goes beyond that. Honor is a selfless act. Honor is something that you do even if you don't feel like it. Because no matter what you feel like or don't feel like, you've never been nailed on a cross.

No matter where your mind goes and no matter how consumed you are, you are not in that moment having the sins of the world from all time laid upon your shoulders. And so you have a verse like Proverbs twenty three twenty two, do not despise your mother when she is old. Don't despise her when she's old. What a verse. What is it trying to say?

Well, think about the cycle of life, would you not? That you as a child under the care of your mother, depended upon her mobility, depended upon her strength, depended upon her attention, has raised you up, has invested in you, has cared for you, protected you. And guess what happens when you get old? It's kinda like it comes full circle. You become more childlike.

You become more dependent, both mother and father, and guess what they're expecting. And guess what the the scriptures command? That you return the investment back to them. That now as they are becoming dependent upon your strength and your vigor, your wisdom, you should give it to them in love, in honor. Is not dependent upon whether or not someone falls short in life.

Was Mary perfect? No. She was not perfect. She was just as sinful as you and I were. And guess what?

Jesus didn't hold it against her. It's amazing because when you think about that command, honor your father and mother, in light of the foundational timing of it, it was given during the Exodus period. It was given when the Israelites were going along the journey. And sometimes we come up with this idea that the reason why we should honor our father and mother is because of their provision over time, and because of how they've invested in us. And that's partly true.

But when you think about the Israelites, and you think about the command and when it was given, that was not the motivation of why they should honor. Let me just read this text, and maybe you understand where I'm coming from here. In Deuteronomy eight three and five, this is what the Lord says concerning the Israelites. He humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna. Who fed him with manna?

God. Which you did not know, nor did your fathers know. That he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. Your clothing did not wear out. That sounds like provision to me.

Food, clothing, and guess what? The direct source did not come from the parents, it came from God. Meaning what? That the Israelites were given the command to honor their father and mother, not because of their faithfulness in life and investing in them and providing for them, simply because it is right. Because they're the instruments that God has used to even bring you into life.

Simple as that. And now you might be thinking, I can hear it. I can hear your thoughts. Brother, Mary is one thing, and the Israelites are another. But you have no idea the hell that I've been through and the hell that I might be going through right now.

And by hell, you're probably referring to abuse, whether physical, verbal, sexual. To which I would respond that there is nowhere in scripture that endorses you to endure any type of abuse as an expression of honor. Never. No license for it. And I fear for you, sir.

I do. That you would take the inheritance of the Lord and treat it like trash. I fear for you. But for those who are victims of such abuse, realize that even in the midst of our culture, predominantly Arabs in the house, that external intervention is necessary in light of the scripture, and that there must be accountability. And naturally, because of the severity of abuse and the vileness of it, there will be a separation that occurs for the sake of safety.

I made this point just to ensure that nobody leaves here thinking that they have to endure any kind of abuse to fulfill this command to honor. Not so. And so we see here that there's a promise with this command in verse three. Because you're probably not convinced that obedience is something that you should really take upon yourself because your parents are kind of out of touch. But look what it says here.

Honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment with a promise. This posture of godliness, young people. As you stand in the place to honor your parents and obey them, what the scriptures promises you is a quality of life that will keep you safe from harm. Trust that your parents that are under the authority of the word of God, with every input and with every instruction is motivated for you and to navigate you on a path free from grief and regret in your days to come.

So in those moments, children, in those moments, teenagers, when you feel like there is a clash going on, and your parents will not give into what you want, would you just trust that this is for your better? Would you just trust that this is something for my good, and I might not see it now, but I'll see you later on, and I'll especially know it when I have my own kids. There is a promise that it may go well with you in life, that as you lean into their wisdom and receive it humbly, that there will be a protection over your life. And I hope you treasure your life enough to take this into consideration. Trust that your parents have been through life enough.

Thank you. Trust that your parents have been through life enough, and they know a little bit more than your friends from high school. So obedience, obedience, obedience. But then we come to an interesting verse concerning fathers. Says your fathers do not provoke your children to anger.

And so Paul has a mind inspired by the spirit that although this charge to obey is laid out, there's a danger in which a father and a mother, but mainly fathers, can misuse this authority to their own advantage or based on their own failures. And so he immediately puts a halt to any idea or any thought entertaining. Well, because they're called to obey, I can have my way. Do not provoke your children to anger. Now children, side note.

Teenagers, side note. Pull out this card when your parents lay out a very wise and scriptural and clear understanding for your well-being to say, don't provoke me with anger. I'm angry. Bible says, don't provoke me to anger. No.

The Bible says, obey your parents. But what this is speaking of is a misuse of authority that can come even from a father. And there are many ways that a father can provoke their children. And some people in here, in this very room, could be still experiencing the paralyzing effect of bitterness because of some past wound that has come from a father or a mother. Still to this day.

How can a father provoke their children to anger? Many ways. Let's focus on a few. Number one, unrealistic expectations. Colossians three twenty one tells us, do not provoke your children, fathers, lest they become discouraged.

You can discourage your child. And though it is a very normal and loving thing to challenge your children to do great things in life, There is the great possibility to set the standard so high that it is not even possible to achieve. It is so possible to set standards at an age in which there is no mental capacity or physical capacity to be able to attain, leaving them in a place of frustration, especially when there is no encouragement mixed with it. And so what should a father do, even with the burning desire to see their kids grow up and be successful, and have influence in this life, hopefully for God's glory? A father must be aware, a father must be in conversation, a father must be able to identify their child's gifts, and abilities, and passions, and work with those things instead of trying to fit them in a certain mold because of their well-being.

Right? Or maybe not. How many how many parents that are so driven to push their child into a certain career path, or attain a certain award, or to receive a certain title, are not really doing it because they want their kids to be safe and successful. It's because they want to know that their son is a doctor. And they want to know how much money my kids make.

And it's really driven by pride. And guess who suffers it? The child. And guess who suffers it? The child.

And so I would encourage the parents, examine your motives and try to motivate your children to a certain direction. Is it for their good? Or is it because you really have a desire for yourself to be known or praised? Yes. Encourage them to go into that.

Yes. Encourage them to do great things, to study more. Absolutely. But what if they feel called by God to do something else? And that requires your patience and your participation in life, lest they experience frustration in their life.

Unrealistic expectations. Yes. Again, don't get me wrong. Challenge, motivate, plant ideas, stir them up, but also be reasonable and understanding. Not only unrealistic expectations, favoritism.

Favoritism. It is unbelievable what can happen when a father begins to show more affection and attention to another sibling or son or daughter more than the other. If you wanna know how that will turn out, just read Jacob's life and realize what happened amongst his siblings, that favoritism is the breeding ground for jealousy, for strife, for bitterness, even for violence. And frustration, insecurity, and the search for love in other places is the unfortunate direction that a child's heart will take as a result of seeing within their own home that perhaps I'm not as valuable as my brother or sister. Favoritism.

Overprotection. Talking about children and teens here. Overprotection. It's important to realize that as a child grows, so does their need to increase in freedom in order to develop certain skills that are only possible outside of the home. And sometimes even with our good intentions, we want to protect our children, and rightfully so, guard our children, rightfully so, but it can so easily become suffocation.

And as they grow and and naturally they need to flap their wings and you hold them back, squeeze something long enough, it's gonna blow up one way or another. And so it requires the wisdom and the trust in God that as they grow, so will their social time need to increase. So will their community investment need to increase. With the balance of family time, this is not a call to no boundaries. This is not a call to no limits.

This is not a call to come home whenever you want. But realize that there is a need there that only outside of those doors are gonna be able to meet. And your trust has to be in God, that as you've invested in them throughout the years of knowing what to do, what not to do, not to go here, not to go there, that they're gonna have to now train in that. Lest you leave them into a place in which they discover it way too late and find themselves fumbling in society and socially. Overprotection.

How else can a father provoke their children to anger? Mother alike. This one probably has the greatest sting, especially amongst those who name the name of Christ. Hypocrisy. Hypocrisy.

All the conversations that have been had in so many different places concerning parents, That you say one thing at home, or you say one thing in general, but you do it another way in life, in action. There's nothing more grieving than trying to take instruction from somebody who doesn't take their own instruction. There's nothing more heartbreaking, and there's nothing that will stunt the spiritual growth of a young person when they see their father or mother living one way at home, but living completely different at church. Nothing more heartbreaking than that. And what it does is it literally quenches any desire, any motivation to seek God on their own, to know this word, to come to church even.

Because if they're not seeing church change you, father, what makes you think that they're gonna think that church is gonna change them? You would be amazed at the knowledge some people might have. And here's a son looking at his father treat his mother like garbage at home. Oh, but at church they can quote the scriptures. You would be amazed of how mothers honoring God, loving God, oh, when she prays, how deep is she in God?

Has no idea know how knowing how to honor their own husband at home. And kids see this. Who's facing this all the time? Children. And they're trying to do the math spiritually.

So does reading your bible actually change you? Does going to church actually influence you? So what does that have for me? This is not a call for parents to live perfectly in children. You need to understand that.

That even parents fall short and make mistakes. But this is a clear warning for those that show no interest in changing, where their language is free from any apology. I know that's hard. Isn't it hard to say sorry? It's so difficult to be able to tell your kids, I'm sorry for what I've done.

It's so difficult to to sit down and reconcile, but you do not know the healing that it can bring. But my pride Oh, my pride. I can't admit that was wrong. You have no idea what you're doing to your kids. And we can go on and on and on and on.

But amongst many other things, we see in the second part of verse four, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Meaning what? That because the father has that headship role, the home the home becomes the primary place for disciple making. That the home itself has a spiritual mandate from God, be fruitful and multiply in Christ likeness. Do you you wonder why Satan attacks a home now?

That Malachi two fifteen says that I brought you together for one purpose, godly offspring. That the home would be a witness to the world of what true love looks like. And guess who's initiating all this? Fathers. Fathers are initiating this.

Not your radical Christ loving son, not your prayerful daughter, fathers. And if this is the mission of your household, young fathers, seasoned fathers, if this is the mission of your household, you will not even imagine what can happen to the atmosphere of your home, to the way situations are handled, and to the way one another will relate to each other. You have no idea what's coming if you take that seriously more than anything. If you consistently set it upon yourself as a leader to establish a home that is mission minded, that we are going to glorify Christ, and I'm going to do whatever I can, not just in bible study, but by example to invest in you. You have no idea.

Try it. Try it. Try a family prayer meeting and see what will happen. See what will happen when your sons and daughters learn how to pray for one another and pray for mom and dad, and mom and dad know how to lay hands on their kids and pray for them. Try it.

See what will happen to the rate of frustrating arguments. Try it. See what happens when you make it a mandate, a pillar of the home to come around the word of God and take this book book by book and verse by verse, and you explore and you memorize scripture. Try it. Just see what happens.

And I can tell you this, with all due respect, those that are parents and seasoned parents, you have no idea of those young ones that have a love for Jesus. You have no idea the inner cry and the inner craving for their fathers to step up and to invest in them spiritually. You have no clue. How they long for that, how they long for those conversations, how they long for your prayers, how they long for your wisdom from the word of god, you have no idea. And there's a great need for this today, is there not?

The home is the primary place for disciple making, the home. And whatever the church offers stirs and supplements what's happening throughout the week in your house. Brothers and sisters, if we neglect the purpose of God for the home, you better believe that you will forfeit peace for your home. Anytime you do not take the purpose of God seriously, what you do as a result is forfeit his peace, not just individually, even for your house. And guess what?

It's never too late. There's no timeline on this. The earlier you start, you the better. Absolutely. But there's no timeline for this.

And if you have any example to look to, turn with me to Genesis 35 with a man named Jacob. In Genesis 34, Jacob and his family have found themselves in probably one of the darkest times as as a family. Jacob's daughter, Dina, was assaulted, raped, and as a consequence to that, Jacob's two sons literally slaughtered a city. And as a result of that, Jacob now is crippled with fear. Why?

Because now the Canaanites and the Perizzites are realizing that they become a stench to their nostrils, and Jacob, because he's outnumbered, is terrified for his life. What happened to Jacob? He got really comfortable. That's what happened to Jacob. He started making money.

He started buying land. And you know what happens when people start doing that? They tend to forget God, and they tend to lighten up on their spiritual disciplines, which is a great insight, is it not? If you're headed for success and you can see it on the horizon, gird up your loins, my dear brother. Gird up your loins, my dear sister.

You have no idea what success can do. You have no idea what profit can do, sweep you right off your feet if you don't even see it coming. And Jacob got real comfortable. And what's amazing is that in this situation of darkness, frustration, chaos in the home, God steps in. And what does God say in Genesis thirty five one?

God said to Jacob, arise. Go up to Bethel and dwell there. Make an altar there to the God who appeared to you when you fled from your brother Esau. Esau. Arise.

What is that language of? You're you're actually down right now. Get up. Oh, sure. You have the you have the success.

Sure. You have the comfort. You have the tense. You have the land. But your family is in dysfunction.

And who does he call to? Levi? Simeon? Dina? No.

The household head. Get up. Get up. Arise. And do what?

Go to Bethel. Why Bethel? Well, one, Bethel, interestingly enough, means house of God. Get to the house of God. But Bethel, more importantly, more specifically, was where Jacob first encountered God.

This is where he first came face to face with the reality of Yahweh. This is where he had history with God. This is where he was intimate with God, and God is calling Jacob to go back to that place. Go back to me where you made your vow to me, Jacob. Go back to where you realize that I am real and that I am good to you and that I am your savior.

Go back to that place where you were fully aware of my presence. Go back to that place, Jacob. But how many fathers have lost that place? How many fathers have allowed life to take them away from that place? And God's call to you, father, from this text is arise and go up to Bethel.

As you go up to Bethel, build an altar there. Learn how to worship me again. True worship. Not like the Pharisee worship where you say one thing and do another. No.

True worship. An altar represents sacrifice. Lay down your life as a sacrifice again, including your role as a father, including your role as a husband. And look at the consequence of a man who heard God and obeyed. So Jacob said to his household, in verse two, and to all who were with him, put away the foreign gods that are among you and purify yourselves and change your garments.

Then let us arise and go up to Bethel so that I may make there an altar to the God who answers me in the day of my distress and has been with me wherever I have gone. So you know what he realized? God did not tell him to do that, but he knew that his his role as a father, that if I'm going in this direction, my family is coming with me. And so he turns to his family, and he says, time to clean up house. This is this isn't a time in which there's chaos in the house.

Do you wanna know how to clean up house? Go back to Bethel. Go back to building an altar. Stop relying on pop psychology. Stop relying on human wisdom, and let's get old school.

Get on your face before God. God almighty, restore me, and as a result, restore my family. There's idols in the home. There's chaos in the home. There's turmoil in my kids.

There's sin in their lives. Change me first. He gets up. He goes verse four. So they gave to Jacob all the foreign gods that they had.

If every father in America took this seriously, we would see revival in this land. The reason why society is the way it is, I believe one of the foundational reasons is because the home is broken. Let them change the laws. But when the home is secure, let them not pray in schools. But when there's prayer in the home, let them remove the 10 commandments from the land.

But when you obey in the house, Jacob took heed. And when you get up, you have no idea how life will come again to your house. Do you know what sight it is to see a father on their knees before they go to work? Do you know what it's like when a man initiates the reading of the scriptures after dinner? Automatically, it changes the atmosphere of the home.

Automatically. If it doesn't change your kids right away, if it doesn't change your kids at all, one thing is for certain, your house, your house will change. The atmosphere will change. The environment will change. The only hope for a home is when Jesus becomes lord of it.

Lord of it. And so what do we say with all these verses in Ephesians six? Well, I'll conclude with this, because this might sound really good and I pray that your heart is stirred by faith. But for many, many parents, many parents, godly parents are just not seeing that change in their kids. There's no obedience, there's no reverence, there's no honor, and it seems to be getting worse and worse.

And you don't know what else to do. You were patient with them. You told them what the word of God says. You've been praying for them. And there seems to be no change because, yes, man has a choice to make in the end.

So what do you do as a parent? I would say this. Take comfort to know that God sees your efforts. God sees and hears your prayers. And ultimately, your children will be held accountable to the heavenly father.

And know this, that there are even situations in which godless parents end up having godly kids. But when they stand before god as parents, they will be judged for their lack of faithfulness in parenting, even though their kids turn out godly. And the opposite is true, that even if a parent has given so much, has invested in so much for them to turn and live for God and that doesn't really happen in their lifetime, that God will judge you and reward you according to your faithfulness. Not your fruit, your faithfulness. What about a child who loves the Lord?

What about a child who's feeling the resistance and the pull and is having to always overcome hurdles because they are seeing this inconsistency from their parents who named the name of Christ but are not living necessarily for Christ? What do they do when they're not receiving what the word of God calls parents to give? Psalms twenty seven ten. For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in. And many conversations I've been had with people who are experiencing what I'm talking about.

This frustration that tends to boil over from time to time because they are not seeing what they long to see, what they see in the word of God, and it's absolutely mind boggling. But here's my admonition to you. Here's my exhortation to you that you, young man, you, young lady, have the opportunity to change the direction of your family tree. Use all that energy, even all that pain to bring you to a place in which you will make a vow unto God that when you have a family by the grace of God, you will do it according to his word. Don't let it cripple you.

Don't listen to the enemy. Don't stop giving yourself to God because of what other people have done to you. Don't do it. But take all of that and bring it before the Lord. Take all of that upon yourself and say, as I step into that season of my life, by the grace of God, would my children see in me a man of God?

Would my children see in me a tenderhearted mother? So what do we do here? We have a choice to make. And the real call to this is what will happen this this week at home. The real answer to this is making decisions differently now.

And so my prayer as we pray together in a moment is that God in this house, with the families that represent this place, would take it upon themselves to fulfill their role faithfully. We all have a choice to make. Let's not hold on to our pride. And so I want us to pray. Would you bow your heads, please?

And just in even in your own heart right now, ask the Lord to forgive you if there's any area in your life in which you have fallen short of your role in the house. Let's just examine our own hearts right now. And from this place, we will lift up one another. Children, would you raise up your parents in prayer? Parents, would you raise up your children in prayer even now, whether they're here or not here?

And ask the Lord if you're gonna send your spirit and outpour him out anywhere. Let it be on my family. Let it be in my house again. Bring reconciliation to the home. Set my heart free from bitterness.

Psalms one twenty seven says, unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. That's not just talking about God's house, because from this very same chapter, we talk about children being a heritage from the Lord. It includes your house. And apart from God, whatever effort we put into our relationships with one another, it is in vain apart from him. We need his counsel.

We need the revelation of his grace and authority to come back into our homes. And so as we pray, before we we sing, let's ask the Lord genuinely in your heart that God would do a mighty work in your dwelling place. And would you just lift up by faith saying, Lord, apart from you, I can't do it. I can't do it as a son. I can't do it as a daughter.

I can't do it as a father. I can't do it as a mother. So there are some in here that are hearing the call from the lord, and it is obey. And there are others in here that are hearing the call of the lord, and it is arise. Either one, don't let this conviction stay here.

Make those decisions today, and watch how the Lord will reward your response. Father, we come to you in response to your word, acknowledging that unless you build the house, those who build it labor in vain. And we lift up right now every father that as they've been given that headship role, that you would give them the grace, strength, and humility to walk in it. For every mother that is called to support and nurture and invest even in their children as well, for that same grace and strength and wisdom, We pray for those that are still in that phase of life in which they are called to obey. Grant them, oh God, the revelation of Jesus Christ.

Grant them the understanding that even your son walked in that faithfully. And, Lord, we just pray that you would bring harmony back in the homes again. Lord, that your word would be the rock in which every house is built. And we ask even now for those that are in that phase in which they are now leaving the home, but have experienced something that has created a sour taste in their mouth. And there's bitterness in their hearts.

And there's a desire for vengeance, and even their spiritual growth has stunted. Lord, we ask that you would set them free. Set every person free that has anything against their parents. And we pray that they would know the liberation of you being able to take them in even if they've been forsaken. And so, Lord, in light of this, we sing to you and rejoice in the wisdom and instruction you have for our homes.

Yes, it is convicting. Yes, it does wound us, but we know that you bind our hearts again and and that you bring us to a place of experiencing your goodness because of obedience. Help us believe that, and by faith, even now we sing to you as a response of thanksgiving. We pray these things in Jesus' name. Amen.