The Slippery Slope of Singleness - Pastor Daniel Batarseh

You know, I remember the first time I heard that song that we just sang, the last song that we sang. I was at a I was at a conference, and the worship leader at that conference introduced the song and when he did, it touched my heart. The lyrics touched my heart as they did yours, I'm sure, as we sang it. But I looked around the room, before going up to speak and the song was playing, and I could confidently say that perhaps, other than the worship leader himself, nobody in that room really understood what was being sung in that place. It was one of the most disheartening, discouraging things.

And you know what you realize when you go to a lot of Christian conferences that many people in there are not really Christians. And you end up changing your message a lot when they ask you for a theme, and you start preaching the gospel instead. But I'm so thankful this morning to sing that song with people who believe it. I'm so thankful to God. I have a title for the message this morning.

It's called The Slippery Slope of Singleness. The slippery slope of singleness. Meet me as we return to our series in the book of first Timothy. And my prayer this morning is that both singles and non singles would be greatly encouraged by the wisdom of God. In first Timothy five, we are at verse 11 together, and let's read.

First Timothy five eleven. Paul says to this pastor, but refused to enroll younger widows. For when their passions draw them away from Christ, they desire to marry. And so incur condemnation for having abandoned their former faith. Besides that, they learn to be idlers going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busy bodies saying what they should not.

So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander. For some, have already strayed after Satan. Let's pray one more time. Lord, we just heard in Psalm 19 that in hearing your word and keeping your word, we are warned, but also there is a great reward in keeping them. We want to be rewarded by understanding your word this morning.

Give us the grace, give us the humility, give us the willingness to trust you now as we hear your will in this area of our lives. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. If you recall, it was not too long ago where we dedicated entire message about how the church should relate and evaluate, the needs of widows in our midst. And if we thought that God's instructions through the penship of the Apostle Paul is over.

No, it's not. In fact, he has way more insights to give us. And today, we're going to discover that these insights are much more relatable than we think. Because after Paul details the criteria of a widow who is worthy for financial assistance by the church. He goes on to share about who should not be enrolled in that support system, and he gives his spirit inspired reasons why.

And as we have learned so many times before, we are going to discover that there is truth, a wealth of truth, and a train of the Bible that we perhaps would not deem worthy of such value. Bottomless ocean, is it not? Filled with pearls of wisdom. And that's certainly true with these verses. With all that being said, Paul wants to make sure that the leadership of every local church is careful not to enroll young women now who have potentially lost their husbands for one main reason.

Unlike older widows who in their natural state do not have a greater opportunity to remarry, younger widows have that chance. Unless, of course, that young lady is going to dedicate her life to an unusual devotion to the Lord and to the body of Christ. Now, we can just close our bibles and end our message there and say, okay, well we understand how to treat older widows and younger widows now, but we would miss the meat of the verses that we just read. Why? Because Paul spells out the unique temptations that are targeted towards younger widows and we can expand the application to not just younger widows but young single woman altogether.

And the immediate context is this, is that the leadership has to be attentive. Less they fail by enlisting these younger women and doing what? They being succumb to certain temptations are now being funded by the church, and being supported in a lifestyle that is contrary to the will of God. And so Paul is saying, be careful. Be careful that you are not funding and supporting a person or persons that are not living in God's call for them as women.

And I want to say to all the sisters in the church, whether young or old, married or single, that the Lord Jesus Christ has a marvelous plan for you in the building of his church. He does. I say that because from these verses alone, we see that Satan, Satan has set specific traps toward the daughters of our king in order for them to be paralyzed and ineffective for the kingdom of God. And I know that Satan is not like God in the sense that he is not omniscient. He doesn't have the ability to be all powerful.

He is limited in his resources, time, and energy, so to speak. And if he's gonna waste any of that on young ladies, and that shows that he realizes they're a threat. But if you realize what what's being presented here is provision from God to avoid certain pitfalls, he doesn't want you to take heed to these warnings because he wants you to remain in a place where you do not hinder his wicked schemes in this generation. So be encouraged that as you're about to hear what you're about to hear, which is applicable to even young men, but specifically to young women. Know this, that God is gracious in highlighting potential blind spots in our lives.

Right now. And so this is nothing but an encouraging message. It's God as a father speaking to his children, specifically his daughters. Principles from these verses, is that what? You would be not eligible to have financial aid from the church?

No. I would say that you would not be eligible to be effective for the kingdom of God altogether. And so let's read what Paul has to say here as we revisit these verses. In verse 11, he says, refuse to enroll younger widows. For when their passions draw them away from Christ, they desire to marry.

Here's Paul's great concern, that a young lady who has lost her husband to death would be in such a state of desperation. In her singleness, her passions would draw her to actually marry again. And we think, well, is there anything wrong with marriage? And the answer obviously is no. The Holy Spirit clearly has in mind a view of marriage or a certain type of marriage that is, as we just read, consequential to the idea of you abandoning your faith as a result of it.

And so he's saying here, I want you to think about this, that when somebody, especially who has lost their spouse, place of such yearning for companionship again, for provision again, for a home life, for even physical intimacy, that it consumes them to the point where it becomes priority number one, and I will have it at whatever cost. It overtakes them. It's almost like a spell. It's almost something irresistible. Now, if this is a temptation for somebody who was familiar with that at one point, how much more of it is a temptation to those who have never known That kind of commitment and that kind of intimacy in the context of covenant of marriage.

What am I trying to say? This struggle that Paul is describing is not just for younger widows, it's for young Christians altogether, especially young Christian women. Who knew? He says in verse 12, that as a result of the pursuit of marriage, they incur condemnation. Who would have thought that marriage would actually be a damning thing?

Cure condemnation in a Christian's life? Paul says it here. Just like any of God's gift, if they are misapplied, misinterpreted, they can become more of a curse than a blessing. Even something as desirable as marriage itself. Because he says that this desire can actually pull you away from Christ.

Anything in life, no matter how desirable it is, if it pulls you away from Christ, it's not worth it. It's not worth it. Even marriage. And I think the appropriate question here is, well, how does something like marriage invite harm into your spiritual relationship with the Lord? And I'm sure you have many reasons rushing through your mind right now, but let's consider just some.

And I would say, obviously, that when passion for marriage begins to lead you to an unbelieving person, this can happen in many ways, can it not? And I'll tell you one of the main ways it happens in a genuine believers heart. They feel as though, at one point, that a relationship I'm talking about a young Christian woman and men, but specifically women, a relationship with another Christian is becoming more and more of a impossibility. The likelihood of it, the desire for it begins to be affected because of circumstances. Whether it's because nobody's pursuing me anymore or pursuing me at all.

I'm putting myself out there and nobody seems to show any interest in me. Or the ones who do show interest in me, I'm not attracted to at all. I don't even want to explore, entertain the idea that this can be something. And so what begins to happen as time passes on, year after year? Begin to think to yourself with that frustration, now producing temptation, maybe I'm a little too strict with my standards here.

Maybe I'm a little too narrow in my list of qualifications. And so now you start thinking different thoughts. Well, he doesn't have to be like a born again Christian. I mean, he he can he can just go to church. As long as he's willing to go to church, as long as willing willing to wake up Sunday morning, get in the car with our kids, and come, and they can go to Sunday school, I'm good with that.

I'm good with that. Okay. Yeah. He has some patterns in his life that are obviously worldly and he's not repented up. He's a social drinker.

He just likes to have things to make himself a little bit loose when he goes out with his friends. I can live with that. I mean, yeah. It's fine. I know he's a Muslim but you're laughing.

No. You'd be amazed to know. You'd be amazed to know what Christian women do in services lifting their hands and afterwards you get to know that they're actually pursuing a marriage with somebody of a different faith. Yeah. I know I know he's Muslim, but he told me he told me, he wouldn't interfere with my my religion.

That I can walk with the Lord, and and he would not bother me in that. In fact, based on what I've heard about other Christian men, this guy treats me a lot better than some Christian men apparently do their own wives. So I'm open to it. And the pull of marriage and the longing for children becomes so desirable that you are willing to marry just about anybody so you can just arrive there. Let me just get there at whatever cost.

What does the word of God say? Turn your bibles with me to first Corinthians seven verse 39. And this is Paul speaking to widows again, but in a different context. And it's applicable to all single First Corinthians chapter seven verse 39. A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives.

But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes only in the Lord. Only in the Lord. Now, this verse is very freeing because what I'm about to say might shatter common popular Christian romance beliefs. Do you realize what he is saying here? You as a single, widow or non widow, you are free to marry whom you wish.

Now, I'm sure there are many people with different opinions about this idea and the notion of the one. The one. But But it's very difficult to reconcile that there is one person in this world. And if you don't marry that one person, like if you don't pray long enough, you don't fast hard enough, and you miss that one person, you're gonna marry the wrong person. You're gonna marry the wrong person, and you're gonna have God's plan b because you weren't desperate enough to know his plan a.

Whom she wishes. Whom she wishes. We make this thing a little bit too complicated, guys. Do. We make it a little too complicated.

We like the mystery of it. We want signs and wonders. We want a nice story to tell so that when we come and we have fellowship, we can sit down with people and share this grand thing that unfolded and how you guys process or the pursuit more than the idea of what God has presented in his word. We've adopted this romance and we have made this very frustrating for many people. Certain way and has given you permission to what?

Tap into something known as attraction. Attraction, like infatuation, and excitement, and desire. Now attraction alone cannot stand because you take what God has wired in you, that leap of the heart, or that interest that you you grow in as you grow to know a person, and you line it up with the revealed word of God. God has given us non negotiables in a potential spouse. You take the passion in your heart, you bring it before the wisdom of God's word, and you're that much closer to discovering if they're a potential marriage spouse.

We made it very complicated today. Now, am I saying that you should not pray about a spouse? If you pray about the right job, you should pray about the right person to marry. You should. And I believe that God can lead us to the right suitable person for your purpose on the earth.

But again, sometimes we are not satisfied with the simplicity of what God has given us, and we want something grand and spectacular and movie type like. He says, to whom they wish, who do you see and desire? But God gives one qualification, one condition, one simple standard. Just one according to this verse. Ready?

Only in Lord. That's it. In that arena, you have by his spirit and by your natural wiring, you have the ability to see and to pursue and to pray about who it is that you would like to do life with. But they must be in the Lord, and I'm sorry to say that being in the Lord does not mean they go to church at Christmas and Easter. Being in the Lord does not even mean that they go to church every week and they're willing to listen to sermons.

They must be born again, blood bought, spirit transformed followers of Jesus Christ. That is your father in heaven's desire for you as his daughter and son. And the moment you begin to entertain something outside of that is where you come to a dangerous place. I heard a preacher jokingly say this, if you as a believer have God as your father because of your faith in Christ, and if according to the gospel of John, the father of those who are non believers is the devil, then if you as a believer marry an unbeliever, you make the devil your father-in-law. You don't want that, do you?

You don't want to go to Christmas and have to face the devil as your father-in-law. And here's the objection. Well, I am looking for people in the Lord brother. It's not working out. I am.

I'm praying. I'm seeking. Seems like I'm not interested in anybody. Nobody seems to be showing interest in me. Let me say this boldly, then you're better off single.

You're better off single. That's not my opinion. Look at verse forty, first Corinthians seven. Yet in my judgment, yet in my judgment, she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I too have the spirit of God.

I like how Paul includes it. He's like, I I think I have the spirit of God living in me for me to say something as audacious as that. I think I too have the spirit of God. What is he trying to say? Well first, let's just deal with this.

It's possible to be happy while being single? Wow. Who would have thought, the inconceivable thought that you can actually hold up, not just happy, happier. Oh. Happier.

Inconceivable. Right? He says, no. And I have the Spirit of God as I say it. In context, Paul wants a widow to possibly consider to take this loss, a great loss of a spouse, of a partner.

And to, in that loss, take the opportunity, this chance to serve the Lord with a ferocious zeal and devotion that she could not have when she was married, and actually know a joy in that way of life. And you read early on in first Corinthians seven, he says, if you choose to marry or not, that's up to you. I'm not saying that one is a sin and one's better and one's more spiritual. He's just saying here, consider the possibility that now that you do not have a husband because of a tragic loss, that you can devote your energy, time and efforts to the bridegroom. If happiness is possible with someone who even has the option to remarry again in the Lord, then surely happiness is possible for a person who faces the temptation of rather to remain single or marry someone outside of the Lord.

Right? If you can be happy with the option of marrying somebody in the Lord, surely you will be happier when you have the choice to make outside of the Lord or remain devoted to the Lord completely. To which someone would object and say, I don't know. Very inspiring words, my brother, but I don't know if I can agree with that because if you look into my heart, you will see an emptiness and you will see a lack of identity that I think marriage will be able to fix. Which brings us to the next point.

If if incurring condemnation for pursuing marriage can come because we are drawn to somebody who is outside of the faith, then surely, incurring condemnation can come when our passion for marriage transforms marriage into an idol. Take it from the God who made marriage, who said it's possible to be happy single. It just depends on what you do with your singleness. That is not to knock down the unique blessing that marriage provides, and we have this weird way of thinking where we try to determine what's better, what's more spiritual, if you're single, if you're not single, if And what we have to understand is that they're not in competition with one another. They're unique gifts on their own that we have to take advantage of.

And however long God keeps you single, you should take advantage of that gift. And when you come to marriage, you're gonna experience not a lesser way of life, not being less spiritual, just a different way of expressing and experiencing God's will for you. We're not competing here. And so I'm not knocking down marriage when I'm bringing these points, I'm just saying that it does not mean if you if you're not married, that you cannot know blessings in that place either. You have to understand that it's possible.

But what happens with so many people, specifically Christians? Their longing for marriage crosses the line from want into worship. It goes from want into worship. Now, is it wrong to have a desire, even a strong desire to be wedded? No.

Especially in an age where it is being devalued, demoralized, and it is something to be discouraged. We should uphold it. We should praise it. We should call people to pursue it. But Paul here is talking about a level of desire that becomes idolatry.

That draws you away from Christ, leads you to abandon your former faith. Marriage. Now, here's some signs to examine our own hearts and to say, have I gone too far? Am I allowing myself to go too far? Again, you might have many signs, I just have a few to consider.

Here's one. When somebody makes marriage and it steams marriage more than what it is, that's a general way of understanding it, but hear me out here. Don't make marriage more than what it is. It's a creative thing. It's a gift.

It's something that God has provided humanity, but it only lasts as long as you live. It is something temporal, and for this journey, I was reading something about a woman speaking about her husband and asking questions of how she can glorify God. And the language she used in asking the pastor was, I thank the Lord for lending me a husband in my earthly journey. Who talks like that anymore? That's not how Christians talk today.

I thank the Lord for lending me a husband during my earthly journey. Like you realize, if you want to be happier, you'll realize that this thing is not what Mormonism proposes. That whoever you marry, you're gonna enter into eternity with and you're gonna populate a planet together. This is not an eternal decision. There's only one eternal decision is if Jesus Christ is Lord of your life.

So let's let's just not make this more than what it is. The issue here is that if and when God provides you a spouse, he is mainly providing you a partner. A partner to illustrate and display the love of God to the world as one flesh. And through that union, if God allows to now provide and produce and disciple godly offspring for future generations. When you understand that as the purpose of marriage, then you will tap into maximum joy in that marriage with the benefits of delight and companionship, friendship, and physical intimacy.

Don't make it more than what it is. And we can be confident that when we trust in God's evaluation of it, and we believe it for for what it is displayed before us, that we will know a healthy balanced understanding. Marriage is a part of life, it's not life. Marriage is a part of life, it's not life. If I were to interview every single person in this place and I were to say, outside of God being the obvious answer, what to you is more valuable than marriage?

How would you answer it? Don't answer it out loud, please. I'm sure the answers would be limited and different. There's not much you can say. Obviously, we are here born again believers, we love God more than anything.

But maybe a common answer would be the obvious one, life itself. Life itself. To be able to live, to know that I'm mobile, to know that I have breath, to know that I have a sound mind. That in itself, obviously is greater than life, than marriage. You're in a dangerous place, side note, if you rather die than remain single for the rest of your life.

That's very scary. But we can be confident that in this place, I'm sure every person in here would say, yes, I can agree that me being alive in this world is more valuable and important than even marriage. So now let me ask this question according to the bible. What's better than life? What's better than life?

And the bible tells us in Psalm 63 verse three, for your steadfast love is better than life. Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. Life is better than marriage. Right? Well, let me tell you something that's better than life.

God and experiencing his love. Now, you hear that and you go, that's very beautiful. My heart is stirred. I love to memorize that verse. I love to quote that verse.

It becomes much more real when you replace the word life with things in this life. So say it this way, because your steadfast love is better than marriage. Can you say that? That's where it gets a little bit more difficult to quote. Because your steadfast love is better than life.

Amen. It's better than life. Okay. Let's let's narrow it down now. Better than fill in the blank, and in the context of our message, better than the union between a man and a woman.

Yes. It's better. It is better. And my lips shall praise you because of it. Now the only reason why you would hesitate to repeat that or to say amen to that or to trust that in your heart, I would have to say is because you have never tasted his steadfast love.

Or you have at one point and you forgot the flavor of it. Don't believe me. Let's let's think about the Samaritan woman at the well for a moment. Jesus approaches this woman, and as he's striking up a conversation, he says, go and call your husband and come. And she says, I I have no husband.

He goes, yeah. You're right. You've had five of them. You've had five of them, and the one that you're with right now, he's not your husband. She goes, I perceive that you're a prophet.

But think about it, we we rush to that store and we don't realize what that person is feeling in her heart. If that doesn't spell dissatisfaction and disappointment, I don't know what does. Jumping from marriage to marriage to marriage, from relationship to relationship to relationship, from man to man to man, and she's come to the point that, okay, this marriage thing isn't working. Let me just live with a man for for just just staying there. That's it.

I'm done with this marriage thing. It's clearly not working. And as we know, that conversation is around a well and her holding a jar, and her receiving these these words from this man, this mysterious man, and him telling her that he has water that she can drink up, that she'll never thirst again. What was he speaking about? Physical water?

Obviously not. We know that. He was not just speaking generally, he was speaking specifically to her life. She was craving something. She was pursuing something.

And she was not settled. Jumping around, trying to find something in this thing called marriage and relationship with a man. Now what changed for this woman? How did she stop going from from wedding to wedding, honeymoon to honeymoon, man to man, one thing. She met the God man.

That's what it was. And the moment she encountered this man, she was so filled. She was so quenched that symbolically she lays aside that jar of water. And we think, yeah. She just She needed to move on.

She need to be more mobile. No. She put aside her past life. She put aside the very thing that she was trying to scoop significance from and try to quench this thirsting. I promise you that if you do not know how to be satisfied in Christ, I don't care who you marry, you will come to the point where even in marriage, maybe you won't jump from one to another, but even in that marriage, you will know disappointment.

You will you will not be settled. Because only Christ can meet that need. I don't care how good looking he is. I don't care how godly he may seem. If you don't learn now in this window of time called singleness, where you have been given a chance for undivided devotion, if you don't know how to get this relationship right, doesn't matter what relationship you get into.

You must know a satisfaction in him. Satisfaction in him doesn't mean that you won't have the desire for marriage, but it will put it in its right place. That's what it will do. You know, you hear many people that squeak this out sometimes or they say to themselves and they're too ashamed to say it out loud. But I've heard people even say it out loud, I want Jesus to come back, but I wanna get married first.

And I wanna have babies, then Jesus can come back. Oh, we're waiting for you to get married and we're waiting for you to have kids before the the millennial reign of Christ to be established. No. That's a sincere desire. I I wanna I wanna experience something.

I mean, the Lord tells us that we're not gonna get married in heaven, so I only have one shot. So Lord, just hold off. Let me let me get married. Let me have some kids and then you can you can split the sky open. You know what's amazing?

I've heard from people who have believed that, that once they got married and once they had children, it wasn't very long before they said to themselves and to others, I think Jesus coming back is a good idea. You're setting yourself up for great disappointment if you elevate this thing more than what it is. The happiest people in marriage are the ones who have an eternal perspective on their marriage. I'm telling you, when you make more of him and she makes more of you, you are putting them in the place where only God belongs, And your boyfriend, your husband, your girlfriend, your wife is gonna make a terrible God. And so we can come to the place where we make this more than what it is, and it shows up in different ways.

It begins to dominate our thought life. I mean, it's okay to think about it. It begins to dominate our conversations. It's okay to talk about it, express your heart, but that's all you're talking about? That's all you're thinking about?

You're going through your Instagram, that's all you're fantasizing about? And time is wasting away because here you are, you're at a certain place in life and you're comparing yourself to other people who are at the same place in life in terms of age and they seem much more advanced. And here you are withering away. Right? Becoming less and less desirable.

Right? And what happens when you entertain it to that level is is now you become discontent, and not just discontent, you become you become angry. And you become jealous now of other people that have found that, that God has granted them that entrance into that season, and and you begin to become envious and covetous, now you begin to say, I wish I had that guy as my husband and he's taken. I wish to have that girl as my wife and she's taken. You're becoming now to get ugly because you've made it more than what it is.

It's not as heavenly as it seems. It's not gonna be in heaven. It's not. Which brings me to my next point of how can we identify whether or not this thing, marriage, even the desire of it has become a potential idol. You become bitter towards God.

Psalm 73 verse 21 to 23, Asaph says, when my soul was embittered, when I was pricked in heart, I was brutish and ignorant. I was like a beast toward you. Why would Asaph say this? He's given a commentary of his own soul condition and he says at one point, being honest and obviously inspired by the spirit, I was getting bitter towards God. Why?

Well, here's the context. Asaph had some questions about what he was observing in life And his questions were mainly about God's dealing with the wicked and his dealing with the righteous. Why are the wicked prospering? Why are they having full families and a long life? And why why are the righteous suffering?

What's the point of serving you, Lord, if this is the outcome of our life? And so it was the lack of clarification of God's dealing with both the wicked and the righteous that caused them to become bitter. And you can narrow that down to how you feel about God in terms of him treating you or leading you in this place of relationship. You're not giving me a clear answer, Lord. I'm looking all around me and I see that you're treating other people better than me, it seems.

And not just Christians, I'm seeing the world. I'm seeing the world becoming more happy in that place of finding somebody. You're gonna allow the wicked to have children and I can't bear children. You're gonna allow people out there that are not gonna raise up godly offspring, find somebody and you won't let me find somebody. Do you see how this can happen?

Asaph felt that. He was disturbed by it, and he began to create an attitude toward God. It began to affect the way he worshiped God, how he prayed to God, how satisfied he was becoming in God. Consider this, if we do not take a hold of these thoughts, we can become like the Israelites in the wilderness. The Israelites in the wilderness were led out by God and they experienced salvation.

The Red Sea splitting open, rescued from Pharaoh, rescued from the world in Egypt. Now they are headed towards the promised land. And in that wilderness journey, something happens on more than one occasion. God doesn't seem to be providing something at their favorable time. Where's the food?

We're starving here. Where's the water? We're thirsting here. And Psalms tells us that they said, can God provide a banquet in the wilderness? Where is where is your hand?

Where is your care? You seem to to to not see me in this state of desire and want. And what happens? They now begin to accuse God. You didn't bring us here into the promised land.

You brought us out here to kill us. That's why you brought us out here. You have some sadistic weird pleasure in our pain, don't you? You wanna actually slaughter us in here instead of dying in Egypt. Right?

It doesn't mean in your desire and want and questions that you can't pour out your heart to God. He says, cast all your anxieties, all of them including this one before his feet. Here's where it gets problematic. Not when you pour out your heart, when you close your heart to him. And you begin to pull away from him in your thoughts.

You begin to pull away from him in your devotional life. You begin to pull away from him in your zeal, because he seems to not be leading you the way you want to be led. He seems to be holding something back from you. Right? He seems not to care for you.

And if you're not careful and you harbor those thoughts long enough, they can further develop the way it did for the nation of Israel, where you now start telling yourself that it's better to actually be in Egypt than for God to lead my life. Some people would say, man, if I was in the world, I would have been married by now. I would have find somebody attractive and a lovely personality. Ever since I became a Christian, this whole relationship thing became much more difficult. I think it's better to be in Egypt.

Be reminded this morning in a humble way, and I hope this encourages you, we are nothing but dust. We are creatures. God is creator. We have no right to demand him for anything. We have no right to demand him of anything.

We are simply recipients of his mercies. Can we boldly ask? Yes. But when we begin to accuse him of his character and demonize him, is when we are in dangerous territory. The nation of Israel failed to see that God was really good even in the times and the seasons where he wasn't providing something that they really wanted.

If you know God, if you see him for who he is in his word and you see that he is good, that he is perfect in love, perfect in dealing with his children, and you've put your life in his hands, what do you have to fear? Do you not see that he actually knows where you're at? Do you not believe that he actually knows the thoughts in the middle of the night? The pains when you when you sense loneliness? Do you think he does not see that?

He sees it and he knows. And like a good father, he knows when to extend a gift at the right time. He does. And sometimes we experience things or don't experience things in the natural, and we don't understand the benefit of it until we look back in retrospect. Trust me.

Saying, okay, I heard this. Please don't tell me these things. I'm being gracious enough to remind you that we forget these simple truths. These emotions get so wild and they become so possessive that we forget the simplicity of who our God is and how good he actually is, how much he actually does care. I want you to see for a moment how Satan lies to us.

Turn to Genesis chapter three. You know this very well. In verse one, we are told that he said to the woman, did God actually say? And so we know that when Satan lies, he always questions God's word. That's what we're seeing in denominations, that's what we're seeing from pulpits.

We're seeing people clearly take what God has said and saying, but he really didn't say this. That's Satan. That's Satan in those board meetings with those denomination. That's Satan in the pulpit. Did God really say?

He'll make you doubt God's word, he'll make me doubt God's word, but he doesn't end there. We just limit his temptation and his lines to that. You scroll down, we see in verse four, but the serpent said to the woman, you will not surely die. That's the second tactic. He always Satan.

That's Satan. He'll he'll not make the thing that you are pursuing seem as bad or will turn out as bad. Isn't that amazing? That's how we feel because here's how you know it's true. When you are tempted with something, you never really think about the consequence of it.

And when you try to convince yourself, you try to convince yourself that this can be managed. I can actually control the outcome of this. I know it's wrong, I know that it can turn bad, but I think I can be sovereign over how this turns out. Wrong. You can choose your sin but you can never choose the consequence of it.

So you'll say, you won't actually die. Downplays the sting of it. But look what he does next in verse five. For God knows that when you eat of it, your eyes will be opened and you will be like God knowing good and evil. Do you see?

What is he trying to do? He's trying to make them believe that God with this whole thing of don't eat this, but you can eat all this, is withholding something good from them. God doesn't want you to have this because look what will come out of it. He doesn't want you to experience this. So so do you see?

He he's not a good god. If he was a good god, he would let you he would let you come into this area. He would let you taste this. He would let you come into this reality, but he's not. He doesn't want you to be like him, and he's doing the same in so many different ways in people's lives today.

Trying to convince you and make you doubt the goodness of God because he is holding something back from you. Instead of seeing it where he knows exactly what to give you and what not to give you. So Satan lies to many today and he's tormenting people. He's tormenting people. You're thinking, this is not Satan behind all that you're saying.

Wait till we end the message and you'll see that he does say Satan. And so let me just end this point here. We're talking about the slippery slope of singleness. It's when the enemy and your own flesh begins to view a wrong understanding of marriage or to pursue a wrong version of it. Be careful in your singleness.

But we go back to first Timothy five and what do we see? We see another thing that he describes in verse five chapter 13, besides that, like I have something else to say about these younger widows in this season and not just younger widows but anybody else that's not in the place of marriage. Besides that, they learn they learn to be idlers. Going about from house to house and not only idlers but also gossips and busybodies saying what they should not. So in context, he's saying, you know, the danger with younger widows is as a church, if you're supporting them in that state of singleness, yes, he's not cutting off the possibility of younger widows receiving aid.

But what he's saying is, they have the strength, they have the ability, they have the the the timing to be able to get married, have a family, bear children. I encourage that more than anything. Because if you fuel and fund them on this list, it can actually promote idleness. They're getting financial help. They're getting assistance from the church.

So they're not busy and because they're not busy, they're gonna become busy bodies. And this is a really a sad description of a lot of single people's lives. If I were gonna give you another slippery slope of singleness, let me put it this way, don't waste your singleness. Don't. Don't waste your singleness.

Because that's exactly what these widows are doing. They have the time now, and what are they occupying their time with? Going out to lunch with this girl, going out to dinner with that girl, meeting up at this house together, then meeting in their house next week, and all they're doing, the thing that mainly occupies their time, chitter chatter. Talking about other people. Did you see this?

Did you hear this? Do you realize that? Do you know what a busybody is? Do you know what a busybody is? A busybody is somebody that sticks their nose in other people's businesses to find out what's going on in their world because there's nothing going on in their world.

That's a busybody. And the reason why you would be a busybody is because you're not busy with the work of God. Obviously, this is not limited to younger widows, but Paul is saying here by the spirit that it is a specific temptation that they are familiar with. So then what is supposed to occupy somebody in their single state like them? Well, scroll back to verse 10 as he describes older widows that are worthy of assistance and attention from the church.

And having this is the older widows that are worthy, having a reputation for good works, if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work. Don't waste this season. You'd be amazed to know how you can so live in the future that you waste this present time. You were so looking forward to something and I guarantee you because This is a double regret now. Because you're so looking forward to something, it could be very well that you have crossed the line of making it something more than what it is, and here's what happens.

It's a double loss. You waste that opportunity and then when you get to what you wanted that whole time, you're disappointed. You're disappointed. Because all you're thinking about is the Instagram pictures together, and the vacations, and matching outfits, and raising a family, and yeah, serving the church here and there, but no no, all these different things. Right?

You're you're not thinking about the fact that after you come from a long day of work, you're not coming home to just crash on the couch and do what you want. You're coming home to meet somebody else that has emotional needs, that has physical needs. You're not thinking about how all your plans are going to be altered. That you can't go to Christmas the way you went to Christmas as a single person. You can't just pick up your bags and travel as you want.

No. You have another person with their plans and their families that you have to include in your thought process. You're not thinking about when kids come on the scene that just going to church alone with two or three of them is a mission in itself. And all the parents said, amen. You're not thinking about that.

Right? All you're thinking about is the holding of hands and all you're thinking about is the memories and all you're thinking about is how you're gonna have a trophy wife that you can show off and a trophy husband that you can show off to everybody. Look how good looking he is. Look at the one I caught. Right?

You're missing it. And that's all you're fantasizing about, that's all you're scrolling about, that's all you're Pinteresting about, and you're wasting opportunity. You're wasting opportunity. It was encouraging for me to hear in light of this message, different testimonies from people online that chose, even young ladies that said, we're gonna do something with orphanages in Africa, me and my gals. We're gonna plant something, we're gonna fundraise and we're gonna bless some people in a different country.

We're gonna provide and raise. We're gonna make these things, these bracelets, raise up money. We're gonna help people in a different place that have great need. We're gonna dedicate ourselves to going downtown and and giving one day out of the week. My nights are free as a single person.

I'm gonna go downtown and I'm going to be part of a ministry that helps these young kids that are in need. I'm gonna just stick with it even when it gets difficult. I want to help somebody because when I come to marriage, I have to give my focus to my family more than anybody else. I have this opportunity. Here I am.

I have evenings open. I work all day. I'm gonna take a class and I'm gonna learn something in deeper ways concerning the Gospels or the Word of God or the Epistles. Do something. Learn a language.

Do something productive. Don't just sit there and fantasize and let time waste. In those moments, you will have desires and you can have those desires and it's not a sin. I hope I'm not coming off in a way where if you have a hint of desire or even a strong desire that you're in sin and you're wasting your life. I'm not saying that.

I'm talking about people that take it too far. And for these women, they've discovered that they can just waste their time. They just waste their time with other single girls maybe, or even married people. They just wanna go around and occupy their time with uselessness, silliness, insignificance. And I've discovered in my study of this whole thing of singleness, that God only has two solutions to how to handle it.

You wanna know it? Number one, you either devote yourself in such an intense way to the service of his kingdom and his body, or number two, get married. What does he say in verse 14? So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander. You just spent almost an entire message telling us to be careful in your desire and pursuit for marriage.

And now you're gonna conclude by saying pursue marriage. Well, this is another slippery slope for singles. You just heard the slippery slope of viewing or pursuing a wrong version of marriage. You just heard the slippery slope of wasting your singleness. And now you're about to hear from a different angle, and that is pertaining to those who would never get married and it's not because they wanna be celibate and devote themselves to Christ.

Do you realize what Paul is doing here in a local church? He's not suggesting it. He's commanding it. Get married. Who is he talking to?

He's talking to those who have made their existence about stuff like verse 13. Being busy bodies, idlers, wasting their time. He would not say this to somebody who said, like in first Corinthians seven, well I am a widow, I am single, but I believe that God is decreasing my desire for marriage and increasing this longing to be like a eunuch set apart for the kingdom so that I may be more effective in light of eternity. He's not talking about that. He's not talking to them.

He's talking about those who have believed an idea and have seen the freedoms of singleness, not for the kingdom, but for the adversary to satisfy self, to make much of sin, and just to fuel their sin. That's it. And he says, you, you need to really get serious about thinking about marriage. And how relevant is this for our day today? It it doesn't take much to realize that statistically, and even by observation, marriage in our generation seems to be more and more delayed.

How? Why? I'm sure there's many reasons. For some, it'd say, well, I wanted to get married since I was my early twenties and I just Okay. Let's put that aside.

Consider this. The lying false narrative of our culture that's convincing not just young men, young woman. Convincing them of the opposite of what God regards as a high calling. Marriage, bearing children, managing your home. We're being told the opposite from our social media, from our schooling, and even from our worldly friends, and even some believing people.

Why get married? Why why hold yourself down? Explore. Go. Do things.

Bear children, you actually want burden. Be careful calling a burden what God called a gift. You you want burdens in your life? You realize that you're not gonna be able to And then fill in the blank once you have kids. Managing your household, you're too creative for it.

You're too smart for it. Go build your build a business. Build an empire. Build your bank account. Building a home.

Oh, yeah. Clip your wings while you're at it. And that's what we're being fed. And then now you have young women that organize their lives and plans their plan their futures accordingly. And you have young men doing the same.

And without even realizing, you are seeing what God is cherishing and encouraging you for as debilitating, and a weak thing and a lesser thing. And that's a slippery slope in singleness, where you begin to see something that God says, this is what I have in mind for my daughters as the highest call, as a great call. Except for those of course who have a different purpose in terms of serving God with their singleness. And perhaps this may not be a struggle for people in this room this morning, but it is a struggle nonetheless, and we have to counter attack the lies of our culture with the word of God. People are being told this from a young age.

And now mix what women are hearing. You ready for this? Mix what women are hearing and being convinced of. Delaying it, delaying it, delaying it, delaying it. Not because they wanna serve Christ, but because they wanna serve other purposes.

And delaying it and delaying it. Unless God has made it clear, there shouldn't be a reason for that, especially if there's opportunity, especially if you're in a good place in life to pursue it. And what's happening to men? Bombarded by pornography. Bombarded by pixels, and men being visual creatures in themselves, and men having that kind of leaning in that relationship, even in marriage, men are more prone to be physical than women are, they're being fed that apart from marriage.

And here they can go on their computer and they can scroll with endless options to fulfill their fantasies. And guess what? I don't have to work hard at it to get it. I don't have to sit down with a woman and get to know I don't have to deal with bickering and arguing. I don't have to deal with the I can satisfy myself and I can have this satisfying me.

It's all about me. It's not about me satisfying something, it's all about me. So you have this lie of the culture toward women, and then this lie from the culture toward men, and what do you have? Think marriage is gonna be a priority? Think marriage is gonna be something pursued from a young age?

Verse 15, for some have already strayed after Satan. There he is. Be careful of satanic strategies. Be careful of Satan lying to you about what God says is beautiful and to be pursued. Wrong view or pursue a wrong version of marriage.

Two, that you would waste your singleness. You would waste it for whatever reason it is. You would just it's not about God's kingdom, it's about your kingdom. Don't do it. And three, that you would not you would despise it even.

You would see it as lesser than what it is and not even entertain the idea, or delay it altogether, and sometimes you delay it to the point where you don't even want it. And I would say, may God give the singles of this church wisdom. Be encouraged to know that blind spots perhaps have been revealed and exposed by the word and the light of the word of God. And what God has in mind for every church is single people, married people coming together, families, those who don't have families to push the kingdom together in the different seasons that we're in. What a beautiful picture.

What a beautiful picture. What I love about verse 14 on a on a side note is that younger widows should marry. You know, I look at this at the other side and I think, guys should consider widows. You know what I'm saying? Like, don't limit your options.

Don't be too picky. And I think the pickiness can be part of the pictures that we're being presented so much, where we have this idea of who we should be with. Be open to how God can make your heart flutter. I'm gonna stop. Let's pray and ask God to help us.

Father, we pray that what we discovered together would be enough, would be enough at this time to energize us and to encourage us. Lord, we are fully aware that so much more could have been said. So many things could have been added. And Lord, we thank you that in fellowship that can be expressed and experienced. But in this time, we just we just wanna relish in what you have unfolded before us.

Lord, we praise you for your wisdom. We praise you that even in a text like this, you can speak so clearly into where we're at in our lives today. And Lord, we ask, we ask for every person in here that's in that season to sense your love for them, to sense your genuine care for them, to not fall into the trap of the Israelites who doubted the goodness of God in the place of want and need. We pray Lord that you would help us frame our understanding of this beautiful gift called marriage. And that Lord, we would allow you to write our story both in singleness and in that place of finding a spouse.

Lord, we pray for every marriage in this place that they would feel refreshed, perhaps falling into the trap as well of being overly disappointed in someone that's fallen just like them. Renew the understanding of a partnership for the glory of God. Renew the understanding that this is temporal and that we have a chance to glorify you in a way that we can't in heaven. And so Lord, whether they're singles or those those who are engaged or married, just speak to our hearts words of comfort and grace in the season that we're in. We wanna bless you Lord for speaking to us.

We wanna thank you God. We wanna thank you for what you have in store. And Lord, you're good. We tell you this morning, you are good. Whether you give us what we want or not, you're good.

In Jesus' name we pray, amen.