Imitating Christ's Forgiveness - Pastor Daniel Batarseh (Ephesians Series)

Ephesians four thirty one to 32. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you. Father, we need your help this morning. We need your help to obey you, Lord, not just in the big things, but in the little things that a majority of people would disregard, but you value so much.

And so we just ask that you would, by your spirit, take these verses and burn them on our hearts, that they would be embedded, Lord, in our attitude, in our character, in our responses, in all things that we may glorify Christ. We pray these things in Jesus' name. Amen. You may be seated. If you join us on Fridays here, we just entered into a study and a journey through this one structure in the Old Testament called the Tabernacle.

And the tabernacle really, to sum it up, is the worship center, was the worship center of the ancient people of Israel. And we did an overview about how the tabernacle really is more than just a structure, it is a picture. It is a object lesson. For what? Three main things.

One, it is a picture of Jesus Christ and his ministry. Two, it is a picture of the church in some sense, and the activity that's supposed to occur in the church. And three, it comes down even to the individual Christian. And though we haven't dived in in-depth, if you have an understanding of the tabernacle in a general sense, there might be one observation you can make concerning your reading. And that simple observation is this, is that God is very detailed.

He gives so much attention. We talked about this Friday, did we not, That there is around 50 chapters in the entire Bible concerning the tabernacle, its instruction of how to build it, its construction, and the activity that's supposed to occur in it. And that's a lot of detail for something that seems to be, irrelevant to us. But it is very relevant to us concerning not just the things involved, but who God is and what it says of God. And again, it speaks of God being a God who is concerned about the detail.

And we might ask why. Why is that important to God? Why does he why didn't he just tell Moses, you know what? Just build something for me, make it look nice, use these colors, and I'm pretty flexible. That would have worked.

No? But what we have to understand is that the little things eventually affect the big picture. And if we do not take care of the little things, even with a building, the end result will be what? Deficiency, a lack of stability, and ultimately, something that should look beautiful is unpleasing. And that was true for the tabernacle.

God wanted us, and God wants them more, in the immediate sense, to create something in such a way that would host his presence and that would please him because it's ultimately his house. It's ultimately something that he would dwell in. And so it says in Exodus twenty five nine, you don't have to turn there. He says, exactly as I show you concerning the pattern of the tabernacle and of all its furniture, so you shall make it. Exactly.

I want it exactly the way I tell you to do it. Why? Again, because the little things affect the big picture. And that's true for us as the dwelling place of God and applying these verses in the book of Ephesians. All these little minute details that God is so concerned about, he's concerned about because the little things eventually affect the big picture.

And if we do not take care of the little things in our lives, we will ultimately present something to others that should be so glorious and beautiful in a reflection of who God is in his holiness, and ultimately might bring God to a place in which he can dwell comfortably in our hearts. And so when we look at these verses, would we would we just apply it this way? The same way you would take it just as seriously as God would give you a blueprint to build him a physical sanctuary, would you not take that seriously? Would you not take every detail into consideration? How much more us?

How much more these verses that we just read that we say, well, that's right. Just just have a right attitude. And we we have a general understanding of what Christian character and attitude should look like. God's like, no, no, no. I want the details intact.

I want every single detail intact, and we have to take it just as seriously as we would a construction project. Because God ultimately dwells in you and me, and we ultimately reflect him. But listen, God gave Moses and the Israelites a blueprint. He didn't automatically make it happen. He said, this is what I'm looking for, and I gave you the resources necessary, but it's up to you to do it.

And we should be motivated by the same thing they were motivated by. Oh, if this means that God you will dwell and manifest your presence here, we'll obey every single detail. How much more you and me? Lord, if it means that you will dwell in my heart, as we learned last week, and that your spirit would not be grieved, but would be pleased, have every single detail of my life aligned to your will. With joy, I do this.

But Paul is not just speaking to individual Christians. He is speaking to the church as a whole, and he's speaking to Christians mainly about how they treat one another. Again, it's a picture of the tabernacle. That God is concerned about how the pieces connect together. God is concerned about the unifying sense that must be there.

He doesn't want things to be randomly placed. No. If you read about how the curtains and all these things, the bases of silver that are all intact, it's the same with the church. He looks at us and he says, do all these things. Yes, on an individual level that you may understand my dwelling in your heart, but also on the corporate level that you may understand my dwelling here in the church, in the local setting.

In the same book of Ephesians, it says that what? Two twenty two. That you in him are being built up together as a dwelling place for God by the spirit. You as a whole are being built together. You are a construction project, And you and I, as a local body, as a family, have to be just as concerned as a building and ourselves.

As a whole, we have to be aware of the little details. And God is not as concerned about the things in his local church as much as so many people are. God is not concerned about what kind of carpet we use in the sanctuary. God is not concerned about what color paint we use for the walls. God is not concerned about whether our seats are comfortable or not.

Now he looks at different details. God looks at how we speak to one another. God looks at how we restore one another when somebody's fallen. God looks for how we serve with a willing heart. Those are the details that he's looking for.

And so we read these verses. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you along with all malice. So what are we talking about bitterness? We're talking about the feeling of resentment that is fueled, The feeling of this venom that's inside of a person's heart that is fueled by holding on to a grudge, holding on to a record of wrong that has been performed against you. It is this eating away at the heart, and eating away at any possibility for reconciliation or for forgiveness to be performed.

Remember when David and his crew come back to Siblag in first Samuel chapter 30? And then their wives are gone, their children, their sons, their daughters, they're all taken away and the city is burned down. And in verse six of that chapter, it says that David was distressed because the people were speaking of stoning David. Why? Because they were bitter in soul concerning their children and their wives.

And that's true of bitterness in every sense that if you are bitter in your heart, it will eventually manifest in you hurting other people. He says, bitterness, that's gotta be gone. Not just bitterness, but wrath. What's wrath? What's wrath?

It speaks of sudden explosions of rage, outburst of fury. It's it's like something that's just triggered and, boom, that person explodes. I don't know if you know anybody like that. And the difference between anger and wrath is that wrath is immediate explosion of fury and rage, whereas anger is a little bit more of a simmering and internal feeling of rage, but does not necessarily manifest in such explosive ways. It kinda sits in a man's heart and eventually leads to different things, but it's more of an internal deep frustration.

You know what Proverbs says about somebody who's wrathful and somebody who has anger? It's amazing how what we consider to be normal emotions are actually something that God warns us about so strongly. Just hear this. Hear this Proverbs. Proverbs sixteen thirty two.

Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city. Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty warrior. And whoever knows how to control his spirit is actually more commendable and to be praised than an individual who can, with strategy, and might, and force, and boldness, whatever you want to call it, taking over a city. Why is that? Because if a person who can take over a city, who does not know how to control his spirit, can destroy that very city that he took over because of his lack of self control.

We don't see it that way. And sometimes even in our reading of scripture, we don't see it in some characters that we esteem so highly, like somebody Moses. We looked at Moses as the man who knew God face to face. We looked to Moses as the one who was so courageous and and unlike the Israelites, he was constant in his faith and he he he did so much for God, did he not? But he also missed out on so much because of his anger problem.

That scene from the beginning until the end, until it finally manifested the point in which when God told him to speak to the rock, he was so frustrated with the people that he struck the rock and it literally cost him his opportunity to go into the land of Canaan. And so put away wrath and put away anger because as spiritual as you might be, as successful as you might be, as esteemed you might be, if you don't know how to know how to rule your spirit, not only can you destroy others, you can destroy what God has in store for your life. In a moment. Think about what Moses had built up throughout his ministry, and in one moment because he did not know how to control his spirit, he missed out on so much. Listen, anger and wrath, God speaks about it so clearly as a dangerous, dangerous thing.

And it's possible for believers like Moses, genuine seekers of God, to still have that anger issue and literally damage them from so much. So put it away from you. Not only that, but put away what? Clamor. What's that?

It's fussing and insulting with loud speech. It's brawling. It's high intense arguments that has high volume in speech. Put that away. A Christian shouldn't act like that.

A Christian should not have conversations in such a manner. Calm, gentleness, this is something that should saturate our speech as we talked about two weeks ago. Slander. Remember the little details. Right?

We're talking about, like, two and a half cubits by two and a half cubits. We're talking about the little things. It's like, okay. These we understand. No.

It's important. All these things connect. Remember, the little things affect the big picture. Slander, and to degrade someone's name or reputation with injurious words. To take somebody's name and and to to with your own tongue like a sword, like a whip, just continually lash at them until the reputation in the eyes of men is degraded.

And then finally he says, you know what? Just get rid of all malice. All intent of evil, just flesh it out of your system. This should not be a part of you building of God. Drain it out.

And we might hear these things and say, that's obvious. I hear all those things, and there is nothing within me that says, you know what? I can justify that though. If you can justify any of that, it's gonna take some deep inner searching to realize why and to think why you would actually want to justify any of those things. And so those things might not be hard for us to get rid of, but it's the latter part, it's the second verse that we're touching on that might be a little bit more difficult to develop in our lives.

And so remember, we're still talking about removing the old man and putting on the new man, and removing the old man is just one step of the process. It's about putting on Christ. It's about putting on the new garment. And that's where it gets a little bit more difficult. Right?

And so all those hideous attitudes, all those nasty reactions, all those attitudes that do not reflect Christ are to be replaced by these three beautiful garments, which is what? Kindness. Be kind to one another. Tenderheartedness. Forgiveness.

Put on these things. And now we can go back to verse 31 and we could most likely find an example for each one of those things that are so ugly as examples to avoid. We can probably do that for this next session. But what we want to do is look for an example to imitate. And those three things, kindness, tenderness, forgiveness, are encapsulated in one person, the perfect man, Jesus Christ.

The perfect man, Jesus Christ. And it's amazing how we can kind of miss out on the details of even Jesus's life by looking at the big things, and rightfully so. We should look at the big things. But we can read through the gospel and miss the small things that Jesus is Jesus does that just reflect these verses right here, that speak volumes of who he is and how he is, setting an example for us to imitate. And so when you think of Jesus, the God that we serve, the God that we just sang to a few moments ago, when you think of Jesus being kind, what comes to your mind?

Probably the cross. Right? All these wonderful truths. Absolutely. But let's just even take it back before this.

When you think of a spiritual person, when you think of what spirituality looks like when it's manifested in somebody's life, what comes to your mind? What comes to your mind when you think of a person who is spiritual? Is it a person that separates himself from his surroundings because he walks by a different beat? Is it a person who is just carrying a wealth of knowledge of spiritual truths? Is it a person that has crossed the line of boldness to meanness when they deliver their truth?

I mean, what comes to mind when you think of a person who is spiritual? You know what comes to God's mind? A person who's kind. We don't equate kindness with spirituality, do we? God does.

Kindness. What are we talking about? We're talking about gentleness. We're talking about a person who has an understanding spirit. That doesn't mean we dismiss our need to be bold and unwavering.

Kindness does not mean compromise. Kindness does not mean that we do not present the truth with boldness. No. No. No.

No. What kindness is though, is an attitude that attracts people towards us because they realize that in all things, in all things, we carry a caring heart. And people should be able to see that, and that is spiritual. A person that's just bulldozing through people, even in their delivery of truth and defending the truth, and all those things, and and dismiss others who are, whatever, from whatever faith or whatever level of spirituality they're at. That's not true spirituality.

But a person that can attract others because of their caring heart, that's something. That's something to live for. And we see it with Jesus in many ways. But again, and maybe the small things that we don't even take into consideration. Have you ever ever Jesus, the perfect one.

Have you ever taken into consideration how Jesus handled interruptions? Man, this is minute. This is a small detail. But have you ever looked at how Jesus, even in when people interrupted his schedule, interrupted his activity, how he responded? See, that's so detailed, but it's so important.

Turn with me to Mark chapter one verse 35. This is after a night of ministering and healing and all these wonderful things, and Jesus still finds it within himself. This is convicting on its own. He still saw the need to wake up and to seek God. To spend time with the father.

I mean, that just shows how much he values his time in prayer. That just shows that the premium he puts on the practice of the presence of God, and seeking the one that he loves so much. What does it say? Rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, before the sun came up, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed. Oh, that's a sermon in itself.

And Simon and those who are with him searched for him. So we understand how much value he put on this time. I mean, to lose sleep so that he can do this. And what happens? Simon and the boys realize he's where is he?

And so what are they doing? They're looking for him. And they come, verse 37, and they found him and said to him, everyone is looking for you. Now what would you do if that was you? Be honest.

You're already busy as it is, and you have that time alone with the Lord that you've set apart. And if anybody should understand the importance and the value of your time with the Lord, it should be other disciples. Right? So what happens? Your sibling barges in the door.

Or whatever. Something happens. You know what Jesus doesn't do? Get out of here. What are you doing?

Do you not realize what I'm doing? Just you go and I'll find you. Don't come looking for me. Doesn't do any of that. Doesn't rebuke them.

Doesn't become harsh with them. He just simply goes with the flow. Verse 38, and he said to them, let us go on to the next towns that I may preach there also for that is why I came out. We don't just see this here. We see this when Jesus is supposed to go to Jairus's daughter.

Right? And as he's walking, in comes this woman with issue of blood. And she comes and she grabs grabs a hold of the fringe of his garment, and in a sense, interrupts his schedule. And you know how Jesus responds when he turns around in Matthew's account? Matthew nine twenty two, Jesus turned and saying, what are you doing?

Do you not realize where I'm going? Do you not realize that I'm on mission here? Do you not realize that I have ministry to fulfill? Set an appointment. Now he he turned and seeing her, he said, take heart, daughter.

She was trembling. She was terrified. He said, take heart, daughter. Your faith has made you well. And we would look at that.

We read those things in the gospel, and we don't take into consideration how Jesus reacts to certain circumstances that perhaps were not according to his schedule. And we look at ourselves and say, Lord, not just my spiritual practices. What are my reactions like? What are my reactions like? Do they reflect kindness?

Do I know how to divert? Do I know how to even if there's something important. I'm not saying, you know, just take every interruption and take every intrusion and just dismiss those things that are vitally important, but knowing how to respond to those things like Christ. So minute, so small. Right?

But so significant. So significant. Tenderheartedness. One who shows compassion, the ability to show sympathy and concern for others, tenderheartedness. Compassion, compassion, if somebody possesses that, really it serves like a compass.

Compassion is like a compass in the heart that directs you to those who are broken. I mean, a person that has compassion is magnetized towards those who are hurting and in need. You have just this ability to know and realize and and see people in a place of of hurt and pain, and you you can you can smell it almost, and your heart leads you towards that person. That is a person that is tenderhearted. And not only just going towards that person, but when you get to that person, you can show sympathy.

And your heart actually that word speaks of a movement of the bowels. It's like you actually feel the pain of other people. You can actually almost relate to them and and join them with their distress. That is a person that has compassion, and that is something that marked Jesus. You can't miss it in the gospels.

You can't miss it in the gospels where his miracles were provoked by compassion. His feeding was in a miraculous way, was provoked by his healing was provoked by comp it tells us he's doing this because he actually feels for the people. It's not just my duty. Like, this is my duty to serve. This is my duty to tell you the truth.

This is my duty to to do these things. No. He felt it in his heart. It was something that was in him, and it's something that needs to be in you and me. This is not just when we're talking about outer garments, we're not just talking about, like, forcing something.

We're talking about something from the inside out. It's about something that comes from the heart, and Jesus possessed compassion. Look what it says about God, about his heart in Isaiah 57. Isaiah fifty seven fifteen. For thus says the one who is high and lifted up, high and lifted up above the heavens, above the earth.

The earth is his footstool. Think about his position. Think about his majesty. Think about his holiness. Think about how much he he's transcending.

He's not like anybody. You can't compare him even. Who inhabits eternity, whose name is holy. I dwell in the high and holy place. But where else does he dwell?

And also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit. To revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite. Again, our God is attracted to brokenness. He is provoked by it. He is stirred by it.

He is, again, magnetized. He's pulled towards a person that is bruised and wounded. So you know what that means for you and me? It means every time you have a cry in your heart, it's actually a call for a touch from him. Any cry that you have in your heart, as painful as it is, is really a call to God to touch you.

And we think Jesus was compassionate mainly in his earthly ministry, that we see it as he walks throughout these cities and these neighborhoods and how he dispenses mercy and compassion. But you know what? He is just as compassionate as he is now in his current ministry than he was two thousand years ago. How does Christ continually show his compassion towards us? Well, Hebrews four fifteen to 16.

What does that say? For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses. He's unable. He's not unable. He can sympathize with our weaknesses.

Why? Because he was one in every respect, who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. So we have this high priest who is able to sympathize with our weaknesses concerning temptation, concerning the fight for holiness, concerning the pursuit of perfection. Be perfect as your father in heaven is perfect. Our desire is to reflect Jesus, but he also is compassionate with the process because he knows that we're weak.

And he can sympathize because when we experience a certain temptation, he has been tempted in the same way. And so he hears us when we cry out to him in the midst of our temptation. You know what? He doesn't roll his eyes. He He didn't say, oh, you don't get it by now?

No. No. No. He feels with us. I know what that temptation feels like.

I know how strong that pull can be. And so that revelation should produce verse 16. Let us then Because of that revelation, because of his compassion, because of his tenderheartedness, let us then with confidence. With confidence, not with doubt, not with hesitation, with confidence, draw near to the throne of grace that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Why?

Because when I come, when that temptation has been pounding on me all week, whatever it is, fill in the blank, that's been haunting you, that's been gripping you, that you can almost feel it pulling you in a different direction, you can with confidence, not hide from him, but draw near to him because he's compassionate. And he goes, let's work with your weakness because I know what that feels like. I took on flesh. I took on flesh. I know what that sensation of temptation is.

He was without sin, but he knows he knows what it means to be tempted. And that's an invitation for us to say, God help me. And we can trust that he's willing and more than willing to show grace and to give mercy. So then we have to ask ourselves if we're called to be tenderhearted. Right?

Do I avoid broken people or am I drawn to them? Broken people are messy in a way. Right? Demands attention. It demands care.

It demands a listening ear. Is that in us? And we wanna come to the place where we not just know we have to do this, because we're Christians, and feel that we want to do this. That's where we wanna get to. That our hearts are so moved that we can actually feel the pain of somebody who's lost a family member.

Our hearts are so moved that we can we can actually feel with somebody who's experienced any type of loss. We want to come to the place where our hearts are in tune, the same the same frequency as God's heart. That's what characterizes him. That's what makes him so beautiful. Isn't it?

Yes. His holiness is awesome and we need to revive the doctrine of holiness in this day. The fear of God, absolutely. But don't miss out on the fact that he is still tender hearted. In the midst of all of those things, he still is drawn to broken people.

Have you ever read this scripture in Isaiah forty two three? A bruised reed. A bruised reed he will not break. And a faintly burning wick he will not quench. Talking about a broken stick.

You know what most people would do with a broken stick? Throw it out. Like, there's no use to it anymore. You break a handle with a shovel and you go, let's just get a new shovel. You break a handle for one of your sports equipment, you just let's just get a new sport equipment.

You know what God does? He doesn't throw us away when we're broken and bruised. He says, I specialize in restoration. I long to glorify myself through my healing in your brokenness. He's attracted to those who are wounded because it glorifies him, and we get to experience his love in those moments.

A smoldering wick, something that's losing that light, whatever it may be. He loves to revive hope. He loves to rekindle that fire. That's his ministry. That's what characterizes Jesus.

So he doesn't throw you away in your weakness. He actually is drawn to it. That makes me so excited when I feel weak. I don't know about you. That should make us feel excited when we feel like giving up.

That should that should produce some confidence that, you know, I'm trying, and it's just been a really, really tough month. And you know who's there waiting? You know who's there not rolling his eyes? You know who's there not saying, when are you gonna get it? It's not Jesus, because he's drawn to it.

Compassion, tenderheartedness. Another way of asking this question concerning ourselves and if we possess such a heart is can people come to us in their weakness like they can come to Jesus? Can people know with confidence that if we were to be approached by them in their weakness and in their confession, that we would not respond with, come on. What's wrong with you, man? Get it together.

Now there are some times who rebuke. Absolutely. I'm not saying that we don't call for rebuke. But even in rebukes, there is a heart that cares. Jesus wept over Jerusalem.

He wept before he went into the temple and he flipped things over. He wept before. And so even in those harsh moments, even in those rebukes, even in those handlings in which would seem like like roughness and sharpness is backed up by a heart that has been weeping. So always ask yourselves, are people drawn to the compassion of my heart? Can people come to me knowing, although I'm pursuing this holiness, and although I do have a standard concerning the word of God and how we ought to live, I'm also one who is willing to restore and invest in somebody's brokenness when they are.

This is spirituality brothers and sisters. This is true spirituality. It's not somebody stomping over others and saying, I told you so that person wasn't true Christian. I told you so this person was this and that. I told you that person was fake.

I told you that That's not spirituality. That's Pharisee. It's a form of godliness. Not just tenderheartedness. Probably the hardest thing is the next part.

Forgiveness. Forgiveness. And the reality about forgiveness is, like many terms in the bible and even many verses, including this one, we have a general understanding of the, you know, we're supposed to forgive. But what does it mean? Not only this, what does forgiveness mean, why is it important to know what it means?

We know the understanding, we know this, that we are called to forgive. That's that's we can't deny that. And so some people need to be stirred to forgive, like you need to forgive. That's your mandate as a Christian. But there's another extreme that people fall into that they have an exaggerated understanding of forgiveness.

They have overloaded on their definition of what forgiveness is, and so they're hurting themselves and even hurting other people with an extreme understanding of forgiveness. So we need a right understanding of what it means to forgive. So what does Jesus talk about? Jesus loves to illustrate forgiveness with the reality of somebody who has a debt. He does it on more than one occasion.

Turn your Bibles to Matthew 18. Matthew eighteen twenty one. This is after Jesus gave his instruction about church discipline. And then Peter, hearing this I have a question, Lord. What does he say?

He came up to him and said to him, Lord, how often will my brother sin against me and I forgive him? As many as seven times? I I don't know if he was attempting to sound spiritual, but Jesus trumps that. Jesus said to him, I do not say you seven times, but 77 times. And then he goes on to give this illustration, and we know this story, Where there is a servant and what?

He owed 10,000 talents, and there's this king who wants to settle accounts with his servants and those who owed him. And so look at verse 26. The servant fell on his knees, imploring him, have patience with me, and I will pay you everything. And how does the king respond? And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.

So he is illustrating the reality of a debt being dismissed with the understanding of forgiveness. So based on that in different scriptures in which Jesus teaches on forgiveness, we can come to the safe conclusion and the safe understanding of what it means for me to forgive somebody. Forgiveness is this, to not demand compensation from somebody who did and done me wrong. This is what forgiveness is. We sum it up in simple English.

I know you did something wrong. I know in a sense you took something from me, but you don't have to pay me back. It's a sense of releasing on my own any desire or plan or ambition or even meditation for revenge, and any expectation that this person has to outdo their wrong with more right. That's what it means to forgive. I don't hold anything against you anymore.

Don't try to win my favor. Don't try to win my approval per se. I forgive you. I release you of that debt. It's like as though you did not owe me anything.

That's what it means to forgive. And to not forgive is the opposite truth. Why? Look at the servant and what he did. Verse 28.

But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a 100 denarii, something way, way less than what he owed the king. And seizing him, he began to choke him saying, pay what you owe. That's unforgiveness. Unforgiveness is going to people who have done you wrong, and maybe you might not do this towards them, but you feel it in your heart. That person owes me for the wrong that they did to me.

I'm not gonna release I'm not gonna let them know that they are free until they pay back the hurt that they've done to me. That's what it means to not forgive. So let's clear the air here. Forgiveness is not you not feeling hurt anymore by that wrong. You can forgive and still feel the pain of what that person has done to you, unless you are not human.

It hurts when somebody sins against us. And the closer they are, the more it hurts. And so forgiveness is not me saying, okay, I'm not gonna feel bad anymore for this sin that you've done to me. God is not expecting that of you. Forgiveness also is not ceasing to forget.

Forgive and forget is a popular phrase. Is it not? How can you forget? There are some things that are done to you that you'll never forget. And so we have this idea of forgiveness that if it keeps reoccurring in my memory, I still haven't forgiven yet.

No. It's because you have a brain. You have a brain and it remembers things. And so if somebody's done you wrong, it's not you burying it somewhere in in the drawers of your mind and not pulling out that file again. It'll come up.

It'll come up. And so forgiveness is not you deleting those files and you not thinking about whenever it does come up, oh man, I haven't forgiven yet. Clearly, there's still unforgiveness in my heart. People think like this. The same thing with pain.

I still feel hurt about this. Surely, I haven't forgiven yet. It goes even deeper than that. Forgiveness is not one giving his or her trust back to that person who has hurt you. We equate forgiveness with, I position myself for you to do that to me possibly again.

That's not forgiveness. Forgiveness is not throwing ourselves on those who have hurt us. It's not throwing yourself back at that person. It's not throwing yourself back into that relationship. That's not forgiveness either.

So we understand again that forgiveness is dismissing any revenge on my part and any expectation on theirs to try to win my favor for them. That's not forgiveness. Forgiveness is excuse me. That is forgiveness. It is releasing them of that debt.

But it goes deeper than that in Ephesians. Right? It goes so much deeper than that. Because we understand what forgiveness is, but it doesn't end there. He says, forgive as God in Christ forgave you.

And so we understand forgiveness, but then we have a pattern to follow. The pattern is do it the way God forgives you. And so when we read a verse like that, we read it quickly in our devotions, but we don't take the time to meditate and think, how does God forgive me? Okay. I'm called to forgive.

I understand what forgiveness is according to Jesus' teaching, releasing somebody of their debt, telling them that they don't owe me anything for the wrong that they've done. But it goes even deeper. Forgive like God forgives you. How has God forgiven me? And there's two safe conclusions that we can come.

Two general understandings of what it means for God to forgive us. Number one, that God forgives all men at all times for any offense. That's what how God forgives. There's not categories there. If you've sinned, you can come and he's willing to forgive.

But number two, ready for this one? God does not exchange and grant his forgiveness unless somebody repents. Does God forgive everybody automatically? If you believe that, you might be on treading on the line of universalism. God forgives everyone for everything without repentance, so everybody's eventually gonna go to heaven.

Right? That's not what we believe in the gospel. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. That word if, it's very important. He calls us to repentance and then we experience the gift of forgiveness.

He doesn't automatically launch forgiveness on you. And so we read that and we go, okay, this devotion is a little bit more complicated than I thought. Because this is the tension that we feel now, is it not? I'm called to forgive as God in Christ forgave me. So is forgiveness unconditional or is it conditional?

And I would say both. I would say both. Why? Because you have to understand we have to understand together that there are two factors of forgiveness. There are two components.

Pay attention. In forgiveness, there is an internal determination, but there's also an external exchange. There is an internal willingness to forgive, but there's also an external experience. And the internal determination is unconditional, the external experience is conditional. And so let's talk about the internal.

In Mark eleven twenty four, what did Jesus say about us and forgiveness? Whenever you stand praying, forgive. If you're trying to commune with God, if you're trying to be intimate with the lover of your soul and you are harboring unforgiveness, he goes, uh-uh You need to know how to forgive. Based on condition, no condition. Forgive if you have anything against anyone so that your father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

So this is the internal factor of forgiveness. What is Christ asking of us here? What he's asking for is a heart. A heart that is continually positioned and willing and eager to forgive anyone of any offense that they've committed against us. And so a heart like his heart.

Right? Forgive as God and Christ forgive you, a heart that's always willing to forgive at any moment, at any time, for anything. That's what Jesus does for us, and that's how our hearts have to be. Our hearts have to be free with forgiveness, always. And when you have that type of a inner posture and inner position at all times, there's no room for bitterness.

There's no room to hold grudges. Because your heart has already forgiven them in your heart. You realize that person is worthy of forgiveness, and I've released that person in my heart. That's what Stephen did in acts seven. Remember when he was being stoned in verse 60?

Those people didn't stone him and say, you know what, Stephen? Forgive us, man. We know you're dying. We just realized right now that we were wrong. Would you would you forgive us?

No. While he was being executed, he said these wonderful things in a prayer. And falling to his knees, he cried out with a loud voice, Lord, do not hold this sin against them. And when he had said this, he fell asleep. Your heart and mind must continually be set at a temperature of forgiveness.

And when that temperature is always set, there is no room for bitterness to take root or to grow. And so it's this heart like Christ who is willing and eager and always wanting to forgive and forgiving in your heart, releasing people in your heart. That's the internal factor. That's the inner determination and willingness. But then there's an external reality of it.

And what's the external? It's in Luke 17. It's in Luke 17, and you can turn there. Verse three and five. This is Jesus.

This is the same one that told him, when you pray forgive, when you pray and anybody has held anything against you, let your heart be free from any sensation of that person owes me. That person has done wrong. They need to do this or that, or this needs to happen to them in order for me to be satisfied. No. You can't have that heart at any time.

It's unacceptable. But Luke seventeen three and five, he says something quite different. Pay attention to yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him. And if he repents, if he repents, forgive him.

And if he sins against you seven times in a day and turns to you seven times saying, I repent, you must forgive him. There is a forgiveness that is experienced and given that is totally dependent upon the offender's repentance. And so we establish the foundation of an inner understanding of forgiveness. But this is the external. What are we talking about external?

This is think of forgiveness like a gift. This is a person giving that gift of forgiveness towards somebody else, and them experiencing the freedom of knowing that they are forgiven. That gift should not be thrown on those who are unrepentant. Your heart is free. Your heart has forgiven.

You've released them in your heart. But that exchange, that relational reconciliation that is only possible on the foundation of forgiveness is not to be initiated by the offended, but by the offender. Why is that important to understand? Because there are many people who are burdening themselves who have been offended and are throwing themselves on other people who have offended them by informing them of their forgiveness for them, by trying to pursue some kind of reconciliation, when in fact, that person doesn't even acknowledge what they did was wrong. And so that person needs to come to terms with themselves that they have sinned.

And in a sense, if we if we are not careful, some people do this, they could they could dismiss the possibility and they could almost kind of push to the side the possibility of them experiencing conviction and repentance by throwing that gift to them automatically. This is kind of hard for us to understand. Is it not? But this is what Jesus is asking of us. That a person who is offended, their job in pursuing the person who's offended them is to actually rebuke them And say, brother, you sinned against me.

This is what you did. And what Jesus is saying is, if that person does not acknowledge sin, and what they've done is wrong, Though your heart is free, that gift of you are forgiven, that gift of the possibility of reconciliation is withheld until that person repents. So we have to trust Jesus's wisdom here. And you must be free if you are an offended party from feeling the need of going to those who have offended you and saying, whatever it may be to try to provoke within them the realization of I unless it's a rebuke. But that gift, that exchange is kept until there's repentance.

So this is what I want to say, that relational reconciliation through forgiveness is not mandatory or initiated per se by the person who has been offended unless that person who has offended comes and seeks forgiveness. And this is what we have to see, that when we go and rebuke them, we have to hope that they will ask for forgiveness. And if they do ask for forgiveness, we can't be like the servant in Matthew 18 who responded wrongly to that person's repentance. Remember when he went to the servant? That guy did the same thing he did to the king.

Be patient with me, forgive me. You know what he did? He choked him. And he still held that debt against him. That is wrong.

That is wrong. When a person comes and repents and seeks forgiveness, we must give that gift of I have forgiven you. I release you of that debt. And there is a possibility now for us to potentially build a relationship again. Not always, but there is a possibility and I would say this, disagree with me if you like, I would say that you should pursue reconciliation.

You should. Depending upon the weight and the grief of that sin. But we should want to pursue reconciliation because that ultimately glorifies God. Right? Does it not?

To see restored relationship? To see what was broken now better than ever before? But with that desire, there also needs to be wisdom. I can't force somebody who's been so grieved against and sinned against to go back into an abusive relationship. I can't try to force somebody to trust somebody who's broken that trust more than one time.

I can't do that. We can hope for it. And the hope is this, that when that person repents, he doesn't come back and do it again. The hope is this, that when that person repents, you move forward from that. And you don't revisit that sin again.

You don't revisit that hurt again. That's the hope. And so reconciliation from that exchange of forgiveness as given externally is dependent upon the offender, and how much they are willing to be reconciled, and how much they are willing to change in order to rebuild that relationship, and also respect if that person does not want to fully reconcile. It's not as black and white as we thought. And so I would say this then, let's flip the coin.

If you, not are the offended, but if you're the offender in this room We all understand if we're offended, forgive. My heart is always set free to forget. Always. I'm free. There's no bitterness, nothing.

And that gift, that person repents, I'm willing, more than willing immediately to give that gift. I forgive you. And I'm willing to possibly reconcile depending on the situation. But what if you have offended somebody? Because that's possible too.

And I would say this, the obvious is go to the person, repent, and ask for forgiveness. But here's the second part where many people miss the mark. You've received that gift of forgiveness. You've been bestowed mercy and grace. Now here's the second part, be extremely patient.

Extremely patient with the process and possibility of reconciliation. Do you know what I mean by that? Because many people who have offended, and they understand that they are forgiven, they are so eager to be reconciled with that individual that sometimes in their frustration they will say, Well, didn't you forgive me? Why can't we go back to normal? Didn't you forgive me?

Why can't we do things like we used to do before? Why can't you have me over like you had me over before? Why can't we talk on the phone like we used to talk on the phone before? Why can't we have the conversations that we used to have before? I'm talking about the person who has offended.

And that person, and maybe it's you, you need to really understand this, that there requires so much patience because you hurt. You have to acknowledge that you hurt a person. You would never break somebody's arm. I hope you would never do that. But if you accidentally even broke somebody, or if you sinned accidentally, you broke somebody's arm, you broke their leg, and they're there with crutches, you would never go up and be like, come on, walk like normal again, man.

Why can't we play soccer like we used to play soccer? Why can't we walk around the park that He needs healing. He needs healing. It takes time for that bruise to be restored. It takes time for that person to get back together and to be whole again based on that hurt.

There's such a subtle example of this with a man named David. And we're ending it here in first Samuel 26. This is Saul pursuing David in verse twenty one and first Samuel 26. I mean, this is the second time Saul is confronted by David. The second time in which David had an opportunity to kill Saul.

And so there was a first time. I mean, he pursued him for a while, and he's attempted to kill. But I mean, this one of the major scenes of which David had an opportunity to get back at Saul, he lets him go. And this is now a second time. And what happens?

Saul realizes his wrong, and what does he say to David? Then Saul said, I've sinned. I've sinned. Now what does he say? Return.

Return, my son David, for I will no more do you harm because my life was precious in your eyes this day. Behold, I have acted foolishly and I've made a great mistake. He said this before. And David answered and said what? What did he say?

Did he say, you know what? You're right. Let's pack my bags and I'd love to come back to the palace. No. Here's the spear, oh king.

Let one of the young men come over and take it. I forgive you. I release you, but I can't come back with you. And that's perfectly okay sometimes. Would it be wise for David to go back with Saul?

How inconsistent was Saul? And so when you go back to Luke 17 and when a person repents initially for the wrong, hope and aim for reconciliation. But if that person repents and and sins and repents and sins and repents and sins, you have every right to say, here's your spear. Let's just keep a distance. And if God by his grace enables you to see that person's heart and to see that they're willing to repent and be restored, go for it.

If not, be wise and you have every right to frame that relationship in a new way, because that person is clearly showing you that they don't value the relationship. Yet it is your responsibility to forgive them in your heart. So we come back to Ephesians four. We understand all of this, do we not? But we might have trouble forgiving in our own hearts even.

We might have trouble even with that internal reality of forgiveness, of my heart being free and willing to do it. Some people can't even get to step two because step one isn't even established. And so we gotta read Ephesians four thirty two with a specific tone. Hear the tone. What is it?

Forgive one another as God in Christ forgave you and forgives you. What does that mean? It means this, that your forgiveness should not be the result only of trying to imitate Christ's forgiveness. My forgiveness to other people should not be the result of just imitating Christ's forgiveness. It should be the result of the impact of Christ's forgiveness.

Do you see the difference? If I'm called to imitate Christ's forgiveness, sure, I can do that. But the result of my forgiveness towards others should also be because of the impact of God's forgiveness through Christ in me and in my life. So it's not just a pattern to follow. It's a mark on my life that I can forgive others because of how much Christ has forgiven me.

That's what he's trying to say as well. So not just imitate the pattern, but feel. Have you not been impacted by Christ's forgiveness? How can you withhold something in which God does not withhold from you? How can you harbor bitterness when God in heaven doesn't harbor any bitterness against you?

How can you justify any sense of hatred or condemnation when you serve a master who delights in showing mercy? My failure to forgive, this is true of many cases, is mainly because of a failure to understand Christ's forgiveness for me. Really, it is. Christ, forgive me. Really meditate on what Christ has forgiven you from.

And when you understand how free you have been and how much he has given to you, as a result, you can give the same to others. Remember that woman that interrupted that dinner, Simon the Pharisee? She goes out and she she just pours out her devotion before the Lord. You know what? Jesus has one of the most remarkable statements concerning this idea of forgiveness.

In Luke seven, you don't have to turn there, in Luke seven forty seven, therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little. I don't think this verse is necessarily speaking of a quantitative understanding of my sin. That I was I wasn't a prostitute or a drug dealer or a gang member. So my devotion to the Lord is not as intense because I was just a church kid and I grew up and I realized that I did a few bad things here.

I don't think that's what this verse is saying. Though there is some truth to that, that a person who has done so much like Paul, who realized all the things that he's done against the church in Christ and the grace. He's saying, I'm a display of God's grace. The what God can do in his forgiveness. That is true.

But I believe there's another component to this and it's this, a person is just revelation of how much they've been forgiven. You just knowing what you've been forgiven much. You just knowing the weight of your sin. You just knowing what you've done to God and his holiness based on your life and your rebellion, your hostility. You having the revelation.

The greater your revelation, the greater your love be will be for Christ and for others. That's what we have to understand. And so you know what a good safe application as we close for us is? To ask God for a greater revelation of our sinfulness in order to understand the magnitude of his mercy. Not in some introspective and self condemning way, but like Paul who can rejoice, who can have so much joy, yet still say, I'm the chief of sinners.

And he grew in his revelation of his own sinfulness. Not in a way that crippled him again, not in a way that that hindered him from experiencing God's love, but in a way that allowed him to experience more of God's love. Lord, show me my depravity. Show me how wayward I really am. Show me of all the things that I have done in order for me to understand your love and your compassion, your mercy, and your long suffering.

And as a result of that, by being impacted, not just imitating, but being impacted by that, I can release it to others. Kindness, tenderheartedness, forgiveness. Is that important to you? I hope so. Because little things affects the big picture.

And you can be as spiritual as you want to be. You can know as much as you want to know, but if you have bitterness, if you have unforgiveness, if you lack compassion, you're measuring your spirituality on a different scale than God's. And all that God would give us the eyes to see what true spirituality looks like. And all that we would value what God values. All that we would take the blueprint of the tabernacle of our lives and say, Lord, let it line up exactly how you want it to be lined up, so that the end result would be something beautiful, and that ultimately you would be pleased dwelling in my heart.

If that's the case, Lord, remove from my heart all these things that would make you feel uncomfortable in your own house. Let's pray. And before you pray, let's obey Mark eleven twenty five. If you stand praying, forgive. Release that person from their sense of owing you anything.

Release any any hint of feeling of revenge, condemnation of hatred. And if you need help, just meditate on Christ's forgiveness for you. You know what's amazing about unforgiveness is like that man, when you have unforgiveness, and the reason why so many people hold on to it is because you have the same feeling like that man who had his hand on that person's neck. You feel like you have control over that person because you have something that you know should be given to them, but you're not giving it to them. And you also you you almost want to make them work for it, and so you just kinda suffocate them, don't you?

You might not do it physically, but you do it in your heart. You know how to choke them. And you feel like as though you were satisfying that bitterness by by withholding what should be given to them. And that's a failure to realize that vengeance belongs to God. I'm so glad that God doesn't do that with me.

I'm so glad that when I go to my room and I get on my face before God and I say, God forgive me, he doesn't hold me by the neck and say work for it. Seven days. And if you prove faithful, you have my release. My goodness. Can you imagine living like that?

Other religions do. Father, help us tonight. We pray this morning rather that you would bring us to a place where we can be released of all these things. But we wanna be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving. And Lord, help us pursue these things in practice, and let these things be true from the inside out, knowing that you put so much value on them, Lord.

We take the blueprint for our lives, and we look at every measurement, we look at every side, the breadth, the length, and all of all all those things that you ask us to do, and we apply them. And Lord, if there's anything in our hearts, whether it's wrath, anger, all those nasty things, we call upon the Holy Spirit to cleanse us in this place. But Lord, at the same time, this morning, in this house, under your word, we long to, as a response, sing to you because of your forgiveness. Your forgiveness and your grace. But Lord, let it not be just something that we are called to imitate.

Let it be something as a result of our impact. The impact of your fierce forgiveness touching our lives. Open our eyes. Give us what that woman had, Lord. Let us not be like that self righteous Pharisee who failed to see how much he's actually sinned against God.

Oh, Lord. Help us understand, but it is by the revelation of forgiveness that we can pour out our tears on your feet and wipe your feet with our hair. But when we fail to have that, we're like Simon, who did not even anoint Jesus' head, who did not wash him, who did not do any of those things because of a failure to realize how much he's actually sinned and how much he's actually been forgiven. Lord, take us to that place beyond just knowledge and general understanding. Take us to the place of knowing that we're forgiven of much.

In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.