0:00 Exodus chapter 20 verse 12. Honor your father and your mother that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. Let's pray. Father, we ask that as we enter into the commands that deal with one another, that you would give us a wisdom. You would give us conviction.
0:33 You would give us clarity on these commands that we may walk according to your word. We know that these laws do not and are not applied to us in the sense in which we have to obey them for salvation. But, Lord, we also know that in the new covenant that these words are engrafted on our hearts. And so we long to obey them, but we ask that your Holy Spirit would give us a spirit of wisdom and revelation to know how to do so, and that he may give us the power to do so faithfully. We pray these things in Jesus' name.
1:06 Here we are. We are journeying together through the 10 commandments, and we are at the fifth commandment. And we have now transitioned into the commands that deal with our relationship with one another. And this shows the heart of God, that the commandments are dependent upon two things. Or you can sum up the commandments in two things, loving the Lord your God, right, and loving your neighbor as yourself.
1:32 And these 10 commandments display that. And as we come to this commandment, we have to realize how important this is to God. These are not the only commandments that God has given us, but for the the reason that he puts them here emphasizes importance. And so we examine this commandment together, and we have to dissect it carefully. This is the first commandment of the rest that deal with, again, our relationship with one another.
2:03 And so we ask, why is it so important to the Lord? He could have asked anything else, but he says, no. I want you to honor your father and your mother. In the holiness of his character, he takes this command and puts it on stone. And this commandment is so serious to God.
2:23 This means so much to the heart of the Father that disobedience to this command results in death. If you go to the next chapter, Exodus 21, look at verse 15. Whoever strikes his father or his mother shall be put to death. Verse 17, whoever curses his father or his mother shall be put to death. So the Lord is not suggesting that you ought to honor your father and your mother.
2:56 He is commanding it. He is commanding it. And we have to see here that this commandment comes with a promise. Now, we know that all commands given by God result in blessing. But he wants to emphasize something concerning this specific command.
3:14 If you obey this one in particular, there is a specific blessing that will come with it. And if you, once again, don't obey it, you forfeit that blessing. And why is this important to the Lord? Does anybody have an idea why honoring your father or your mother has been placed here in the list of these 10 commandments? Anybody have an idea?
3:39 Eddie? Is that, guys? The way that, you respect your father and mother is the same way that the tree does? Ah, there is a correlation. There is a relationship between how you honor your parents.
3:51 It will reflect ultimately in how you honor your heavenly father. Absolutely. What else can we say? Yes? They are the ones that give you life.
4:05 Very good. They are the vessels that God has chosen to usher you into this world. Absolutely. Any other ideas? Yes.
4:17 They gave so much energy to make you grow and, help you. Just So the investment into your life to set you on a certain direction, those are pretty much the points. We have to understand here that when he's saying honor your father and your mother, these specific people, these individuals that have been placed in your life are no ordinary people. They're not average people. They're not strangers.
4:48 They're not people you walk by. They have a specific place in your life. They've been given a specific responsibility, and they carry a specific authority. And because of that, give honor to whom honor is due. Just think about your mother for a moment.
5:04 Think Think about your mother. Think about the fact that she cured you in her womb for months. And perhaps in her delivery, she was at the brink of death. Think about how even at your infant stage of life, if it was not for your mother, you probably would not be alive. As you know, I'm gonna use this baby a lot in illustrations, by the way.
5:27 My sister just had a child. And one thing I noticed about this child after three days when she came home after the hospital, how utterly dependent this child was. I mean, so dependent that if she could not even turn over, she was right there on her belly. She needed her mother to turn her over, to change her, to bathe her, to lift up her head lest she she falls back. All these different things.
5:51 The total dependency. The diapers that your mother changed, the food that she provided, the nurture, the sleepless nights, the sacrifice. Think about your father as you grew up. That his life completely changed concerning his own comfort, and his own desires, and his own ambitions. Now everything is centered around you.
6:15 When he wakes up early for work, guess what? He's doing it to put food on the table for you and to provide things that would make you comfortable. And he is completely living selflessly. Now if your mother was a godly woman, not only did she do the things that even pagan people do and non believers do, but she invested in you spiritually. She nurtured you in the things of God.
6:36 She set an example for you. She desired for you to grow in the things of Christ, and she set forth the the word of God. And she taught you throughout the day. And here's your father working tirelessly, sacrificing himself, sacrificing his energy. Some of you can even have maybe have stores where you observe things of your parents, of how they went the extra mile.
6:59 And if your father was a spiritual man, if he was a man who walked with God, he was an intercessor. He prayed for you. He led and set the spiritual temperature of your home, guiding you in the things of God as well. So we think about all those things, and and and we have to understand they are worthy of honor. Now here are some objections, I'm sure.
7:22 Those are wonderful descriptions of what a mother is. Those are wonderful descriptions of what a father is, but I did not grow up with such a mother. And I did not grow up with such a father. Let's put aside the spiritual, maybe even the practical. I didn't grow up in a home where my parents provided for me.
7:39 I didn't get the things that I wanted. I even get the things that I needed in life. So if you're saying I am to honor them because of the things that they've done in my life, maybe I'm not supposed to honor them because they didn't provide those things in my life. The context of this commandment given is to a specific audience, and God, in his wisdom, decided to give this commandment at a specific time in history. Why?
8:06 Turn your bibles to Deuteronomy chapter eight. Deuteronomy chapter eight will answer this question for us in verse three. Let's go to verse two. And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what is in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not. And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know that he might make you know that a man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.
8:46 Your clothing did not wear out on you, and your foot did not swell these forty years. What's interesting about that verse in light of this commandment? God provided. God was the source of provision for all the Israelites. Meaning what?
9:06 The parents were not initially the source of provision. It was God himself. So take that truth that God fed all the Israelites, that God even took care of their clothing throughout the wilderness journey, that it was not necessarily credited to the parents, and take that truth with light, in light of this commandment. Honor your father and your mother. Not because they gave you food, because I gave you food.
9:35 Not because they gave you clothing, because I'm the one that let your clothing stay intact. So why honor them? If I'm to honor them because they provided these things for me, that makes sense. But the context here is that God did all the provision. And I believe the reason why we are to honor our parents is because somebody mentioned already, because they are the instruments and vessels that God has chosen to even just give you the gift of life itself.
10:05 They're the ones that carried you in the womb. They're the ones that were used by God, again, to bring you into this world. That alone is worthy of honor. And you might be thinking and this is a good question, and I wanna do this here, not at the end. Okay.
10:26 They didn't just not provide for me, but they abused me. Sure, they brought me into the world, but they did not love me. And this is a reality. And this is why a verse like this or a command like this can be so burdensome to even comprehend for somebody who grew up with a father that beat them black and blue. Or a mother, maybe not physically abusive, but emotionally abusive.
10:58 And there are many circumstances where a child has to be forced to distance himself from such parents because of their behavior, and rightfully so. So how does one honor them? How can I honor my father or my mother if I don't even have a relationship with them? If all my memories of them was abuse and neglect. I wanna say this with utmost sensitivity and with care.
11:31 One, no matter how rebellious you might have been, no matter how reckless, no matter how disobedient you might have been, no one deserves abuse. No one. No one deserves to be treated treated as such. But this is where the gospel comes in. That even in light of such failures from fallen people, including perhaps your parents, We are still called to honor them, and it's important to know what honor means.
11:59 But before we get into that, I wanna just touch on this so we can put it aside and move forward to the specifics here. How do you think one can honor their parents in such a circumstance? Does anybody have an idea? Forgive them? Absolutely.
12:17 Act about the situation, you know, don't, you know, try to repay violence with violence. Perfect. And that's what I wanna touch on as well. Forgiveness is there absolutely honoring them by forgiving them, realizing that you yourself is a is a sinner. But you mentioned something in first Peter two.
12:31 Peter, the apostle, gives instructions to servants who are subject to to masters. K. And he he he tells them that if you're being beaten even for doing good, there is a example for you to follow. If you wanna turn there, you can, but I'm just gonna read it in first Peter two twenty three. This is concerning a relationship between a slave and his master, and that's something we're not gonna look into too much concerning the context.
12:58 But the principle is nevertheless still true for us. Verse 23. When he being Jesus was reviled, he did not revile in return. When he suffered, he did not threatened. What did he do?
13:16 But continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. So if anybody finds himself in that kind of a situation or anybody has experienced that in their in their life, unfortunately, because we live in a fallen world, I believe one way in which that person can still fulfill this commandment, because we see here in verse 12 of Exodus 20, it doesn't say honor your father and mother unless. He says honor your father and your mother. And even with such a person, one way you can honor them is not returning violence, evil, or wickedness back to them, but to trust them to the Lord that he will judge them. And I believe the second way, and somebody mentioned already, forgiveness but mingled with prayer to pray for them.
14:07 Matthew five. To to pray for our enemies, to love them, and to bless those who persecute us. And so when you take those things, if you're at a distant place with your family, specifically your parents because of that abusive relationship, With the gospel in mind and with the power of the Holy Spirit in our hearts, we can fulfill this commandment by doing two things, trusting Jesus to judge and not taking that in our own hands. Not manipulating, not in their old age, I'm gonna get revenge when they're at that place in their life. No.
14:39 No. No. Don't think like that. And secondly, God, touch their hearts. God, don't let bitterness creep into my heart.
14:47 Lord, give me the grace to be able to be a father or a mother that will love my children. Lord, let me understand that we are all sinners. Lord, let me not though I am, yes, a victim to abuse, let me not allow this to contaminate my other relationships or to contaminate my view of you being father. Do you see? God is not throwing us into something and calling us to do something that doesn't make sense.
15:13 When there is that kind of a relationship, there is wisdom that needs to be applied. Maybe you can't stay in that kind of relationship or maintain that relationship. Fine. But we can still honor them. Just because there's something that's not going the right way, we are never called to dishonor, which is a perfect segue into the next part.
15:29 What does it mean to honor our father and our mother? What does it look like? When you hear the word honor, what comes to mind? Respect? Love?
15:52 Honor is an interesting word. It is a complex word in the original language. But I believe we have some clarity in Leviticus nineteen three. Leviticus nineteen three, which echoes this commandment, gives us insight to what honor might look like. Leviticus nineteen three, every one of you shall revere his mother and his father.
16:18 Revere his mother and his father, and you shall keep my Sabbaths. I am the Lord your God. So when we talk about honor, it's synonymous with reverence. It is then to regard your parents with total respect in both word and deed. As simple as that.
16:38 To regard your parents with total respect in both word and in deed. This is what it means to honor them. Now we understand that God commanded it, but again, why does he want it to happen? Yes. Because he gave us they gave us life.
16:56 Yes. Because they've been given authority and responsibility. But think about in a in a in a practical sense. Let's say this command wasn't given. Let's say this was not a standard for the people of God, that they did not need to honor their father or mother.
17:08 What would happen? What are the ripple effects of such a thing? It would just be totally unstable. There would be no families stable families because there would be no guidance that would be no way to raise children properly. It would just be chaos.
17:22 It'd be chaos. Yes? Characteristic as you'll hear the more others around you, but there's this dishonor. It's kind of in your personality. Sure.
17:35 So it's just gonna affect every area of life. And that's exactly what it is. That the family unit, the family unit is a cornerstone to society. It is. It is absolutely necessary to understand that if the home is out of order, in due time, society will be out of order.
17:54 Because if you can't respect your parents as a child, what makes you think you're gonna respect your teacher? What what makes you think you're gonna respect? Law enforcement. If you can't respect your parents who you know and your knowledge and see and realize that they are the ones who have given you life, how are you gonna revere the one that you can't see who is the author of all life? So there is a ripple effect to this.
18:19 The society can crumble due to the fact that the home is not in order. I'm a firm believer that Satan attacks the home for this very reason. If you even look at second Timothy, if you look at the different verses that speak of the end times, it talks about the chaos that's gonna happen in the world. Lovers of self, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God. All these different things.
18:45 Murder, the love of money, all these wicked, disgusting, hideous sins. And in the midst of all of that, when you look at the list, have you read it before? There will be children disobeying their parents. And we hear that, and we go, that's just, why would you list all of that with that? Because it has monumental consequences.
19:08 That if there isn't a proper relationship within the home concerning all the things that your parents have done for you, there goes society. And we live in a culture today that does not know how to honor. We really don't know how to honor people. Young people more than anything, even up to the college age, have no understanding of authority, have no understanding of government, have no understanding of those who have been given a position in which they can speak certain things into your life that require you to obey. None of that.
19:41 Me, myself, and I. I'm my own individual. That's why God gave this command. And so we know what honor means, to regard our parents with respect in both word and deed. So then the next question is, how do I honor my parents?
20:00 How do I honor my parents? When you think honor, what practical step comes to mind? Respect? Sure. Obey.
20:14 Let's go to the New Testament together. Why don't we? Ephesians chapter six. Ephesians chapter six. Ephesians chapter six verse one.
20:25 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. Wow. So not only does he take the commandment from the Old Testament, he takes the promise from the Old Testament and transfers it into the new covenant.
20:46 That's important. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. I love how the Bible is just so practical sometimes. Don't you? He links honor with obedience.
21:04 And there there has to be a careful understanding of this as well. The context is Paul giving instruction about how the home should operate. He gave instructions to husbands concerning wives, wives concerning hubs husbands. And then he comes now to the children. And he says, children, I want you to obey your parents in the Lord.
21:23 That's important because we have to understand that this is a Christian home context. A Christian home context. That when we're obeying them in the Lord, the understanding is that the parents are giving commands that are in line with God's word. They're not contradicting what the Scriptures say when they're telling their kids what to do. So in the Lord.
21:45 But it's not, that's not the only thing it means. What else does it mean to honor your parents or obey your parents in the Lord? Colossians three twenty, would you put it up, please? Colossians three twenty. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to who?
22:07 Unto the Lord. Oh, wow. So it pleases not only your parents, it pleases God. The sight of obedience from children towards their parents is a sight that pleases the Lord. Why?
22:22 Because you are honoring what he's established from creation. You are honoring the fact that he has established your parents to be the authoritative figures in your life that would represent in a sense God and his word and his instruction into your life. And he says, thank you. Thank you for trusting what I've I've established for society and for the home. Thank you.
22:43 And if you have any lack of motivation to obey your parents when you're we're gonna get into what that doesn't look like. When you're hesitant to obey, when you're hesitant to yield to what they say, filter all of that saying, Lord, I'm doing it for you. Lord, I'm doing it as though you are speaking into my heart. I'm doing it as though you are speaking into my life, and I yield to that. This means so much to God.
23:11 He says, obey your parents in the Lord. Now there's another factor to consider. I believe this is speaking of, to a degree, of children. Yes. This is important to understand for us for the rest of our lives.
23:24 We're supposed to honor our parents until they go. But I believe here children speaks of those who are under the home and living in the home of their parents. They're not in they're not independent. They've not gone on to start their own family. That's crucial because when you move on in life, obedience looks differently.
23:46 You understand? When you marry someone Wives, when you find a husband, there's a new level of authority in your life. Husbands, when you have a wife, there's a new understanding of honor. If your parents dishonor your wife, guess whose side you're standing on? Your wife.
24:08 If your parents are dishonoring your husband and putting him down and degrading him as a man, wives, guess whose side you're taking? Your husband's. This is not a command for the rest of your life in which You know why this is important? You know how many divorces and complications are in marriage because of in laws? Do you know how many do you know how many problems have been fueled because of the input and the insight of those that are contradicting the word of the husband or those that are dishonoring the wife?
24:48 And so we have to understand the context here. Yes. We are continually called to honor our parents. We're gonna learn till they're old age, we have to honor them. But we have to also understand that there is a authority placement that comes through the transitions of life.
25:05 Obey them. What does it mean to obey? To yield, to rely, to to submit to whatever they say concerning your well-being and concerning what they ask of you. I know this is so simple. And so when he says obey in the Lord, there's two things to understand.
25:19 Parents must give instruction in the Lord and the children must be motivated as though they are obeying the Lord. Now parents might take advantage of such a command. Right? Hey, Ephesians six one. Obey your parents.
25:41 Understand? Honor them. Mommy, read verse four. Daddy, read verse four. What does the verse tell us?
25:54 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger. So Paul, the master theologian, Holy Spirit, says, you know, parents could take advantage of such a command. And so I'm gonna ask the fathers, and that's also for mothers, parents, to not provoke their children to anger. Now how could a parent provoke their child to anger? On all the all the young people are like, I can tell you right now.
26:29 Let me give you some suggestions. When a parent is overprotective, not protective, when a parent smothers their kid to the point where they can't even breathe, to the point where there is no freedom in life, to the point where they can't do what normal kids should do, like have friends, like go out and play, Like, go out and do what kids do. Why? Why can that provoke them? Because there's things that children have to do, and they need some liberty to do it.
27:06 And you as parents have to understand that God is ultimately on the throne, and he will protect them. Now, there has to be a balance here. Oh, it's gonna get real interesting tonight. There has to be a balance here. And so this is why we need the wisdom.
27:22 I'm not here giving parodying skills, by the way. By no means. If you're gonna if you're gonna accuse me of anything, I'm trying to back up everything with this. So bear with me. When it comes to provoke provoking to anger, it could be by smothering people.
27:39 And there are people that I know even who have been so suffocated as children, it's affecting them in their adult life. And there's this rebellious and rebellion in their hearts because they've never able to do anything in life. I believe another way to provoke a child to anger is by setting unrealistic expectations on their lives. Calling them to a standard, calling them to do something that is beyond what a human can even do. Keeping a track record of who knows what, something that you haven't kept.
28:15 And so there has to be realistic expectations, understanding that we are in our development stages and we learn as we go and not everything's gonna come to us from heaven like that. I think another way of provoking a child to anger is lack of encouragement, fault finding at all times. You always do this wrong. You always do this wrong. You always and that's what I believe this commandment is about more than anything, is that in the instruction of the Lord and in asking them to live up to a certain standard and them failing perhaps at times, you're rushing out on them, telling them how dumb and stupid and slow and whatever it may be that you're throwing and vomiting on them and discouraging them.
28:59 And it brings them to no motivation again. And a lot of times, it could be very possible that children go the opposite direction because they didn't receive the necessary encouragement to move forward. There could be also favoritism shown to different siblings. Favoritism shown to different brothers and sisters, attention given more to one than the other. And that could provoke anger.
29:30 That could provoke a sense of, well, am I less valuable? Am I less loved for my mom or my dad? Okay. We can go on, but we won't. Provoking to anger though, this is an important note.
29:44 Provoking to anger and the worry of provoking a child to anger does not mean, does not mean that you neglect discipline. In a parent's angst and worry about not provoking a child to anger and to be rebellious and to turn on their parents because they were you don't not discipline because of that. Why? There are many verses. Let me just give you one.
30:08 Proverbs 2nine 15, the rod and reproof give wisdom. Give wisdom. But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. When you leave a child to themselves and let them grow up, and you don't give warning, you don't give instruction, you don't give discipline, you don't give the rod, they will grow up thinking that what they've done is right, thinking that it's their way in life. And guess what?
30:36 In the end, that's going to bring shame to you. The rod and reproof give wisdom. I heard of stuff growing up my life. I heard of something called a time out. That's cute.
30:55 A time out? A time where you're away from the things that your parents bought for you in the first place? Time outs. You know what time outs were for us? Timeouts were the breaks in between the slap sessions that we got from our parents.
31:10 That's what timeouts were. Are timeouts a way? Absolutely. But for one to pull away from wise discipline, necessary discipline, reproof in the worry of they might be angry with me is not wisdom. In light of the scripture, it's not.
31:41 This verse also is not giving kids the right to be angry. Kids could be angry even in right instruction. Fit. It's not mean your parents are wrong in giving that an It's It's like, okay, where's the line here? Take the whole counsel of God.
32:09 Be dependent upon the Holy Spirit. Do you know what all these commands, Ephesians five and six? You know how they all began? This is how they began. In Ephesians five, verse 18, do not get drunk with wine for that is debauchery, but be filled with the spirit.
32:24 Be filled with the spirit. He says that, and then he gives all these instructions concerning submission and loving your wife like Christ loved the church, children obeying your parents, all in the power of the Holy Spirit. How encouraging and how necessary. So when it comes to obedience and your parents call you to obey something that is contrary to the word of God, do you obey? Acts five twenty nine, there's your there's your verse.
32:52 We must obey men. No. We must obey God rather than men. When it comes to God calling you as a person, as an individual, to obey and to trust in the gospel of Jesus Christ and to follow Jesus, and guess what? Your parents are standing in the way.
33:09 Do you obey your parents? No. Mark ten twenty nine. If you could put that up, please. Look what Jesus these are red letters.
33:16 What does he say concerning when he calls a person? And Jesus answers that, verily I say to you, there is no man that has left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, father, or mother or wife or children or lands for my sake and the gospels. And I believe it's not just giving yourself to Jesus Christ for the sake of your salvation. I believe it's responding to the call of God on your life to serve Jesus Christ. What do I mean by that?
33:49 It's it's totally understandable to to say yes. I have to push through every relationship in my life to say yes to Christ. Even if my parents stand in the way, even if I get kicked out of my home, even if though it's gonna be awkward at the family table. But I believe there's a second understanding that when Christ, yes, saves you, not only saves you, but calls you to a specific calling, and even those in your life are standing against it, I believe in wisdom you have the right to say, I have to obey Jesus. I know you want me to be something in life, but Christ is calling me to be a preacher, and I have to obey the master.
34:27 Now if you have parents that are saved, they should rejoice in that. They should rejoice in such truth. But there are certain circumstances. Here's another one. This just came to my mind.
34:37 We can go to Luke chapter nine. Luke chapter nine. This came to my mind earlier. Luke nine fifty seven. As they were going along the road, someone said to him, I will follow you wherever you go.
35:02 And Jesus said to him, foxes have holes and birds of the air have nest, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head. So somebody's saying, I wanna follow you wherever you go. He goes, are you sure I don't have a pillow? If you think following me is about going to the nice hotels and being invited to the nice conferences, you got it wrong. You might suffer.
35:22 You might have some nights where you don't eat food. Reconsider you wanting to follow me. Verse 59. To another, he said, follow me. But he said, Lord, let me first go and bury my father.
35:35 And Jesus said to him, leave the dead to bury their own dead. But as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God. Lord, the man wants to go bury his father. Now when we read that in the surface level, we have this understanding that here's this man, and he's saying, my my dad's dead, and I have to go bury him right now. If you just wait for the funeral, I'll come and I'll follow you and do whatever you call me to do.
36:07 That's not what it's saying. If this man had a dead father, he probably wouldn't be where this scene is right now. I believe that what he was asking Jesus was just wait till my dad passes away. Give me a little bit extra more time. And when he passes away, then I'll come and commit myself to you.
36:25 And Jesus said, no. I'm calling you now. It's not on your own terms. It's not on your own timing. I'm calling you to obey me now.
36:35 And this is not a call to neglect your family if you follow Christ. It's a timing issue. And who knows what this man's relationship with his father? Clearly, he loved his father so much that he wanted to wait till he passed on so that he could give himself to Christ. But Jesus says, you're not supposed to love your dad more than me.
36:53 You're not. And if you wanna follow me, let's go. Obedience. Yes. But there is a certain filter that we must apply to obedience.
37:06 Honoring our parents goes beyond obedience, though. This command is not only for little children until they grow up in life and leave the home. It's a lifelong command. And so when we understand obedience, yes, there is a sense in which that changes throughout time, but there are other ways we honor the Lord. And I'll give you one, that we must continually address our parents with honor.
37:34 Address our parents with honor. You don't have to turn there, but let me just read this to you. First Kings two nineteen. This is after Solomon was elected to be king. When David passed on, here's Solomon, his son.
37:47 And look what happens here in verse 19. So Bathsheba went to King Solomon to speak to him on behalf of Adonijah. And the king rose to meet her and bowed down to her. What did he do? He bowed down to his mother.
38:01 Then he sat on his throne and had a seat brought for the king's mother, and she sat on his right. And I believe there's a beautiful picture that no matter where Solomon went in life, no matter how high he was in position, when he saw his mother, he still recognized her, honored her, and elevated her. And when she came, he respected her. He bowed. It wasn't a form of worship.
38:25 It was a it was a way that people would address one another in respect, and he brought a seat beside her. How do you address your mom in your speech? How do you talk about your parents to other people? How do you communicate with them? How do you respond to them when they ask something of you?
38:51 Is it an honor? Is it like Solomon who no matter who he was, no matter how successful he was, no matter where he went in life, he understood that that woman bore me. She provided for me. She raised me up. She set me on this path, and I will forever be indebted to her.
39:12 Here's my honor. So many people just you just hear it in their conversation, total disrespect, as if they have no understanding of who that person is. And maybe at times, it's respectful, but in times when their emotions get wild, oh, that's when it gets that's when they have the right to dishonor. Right? There's no there's no right to dishonor.
39:37 How do you address them? That's one way of understanding how you honor them. Not only that, we honor by living a life of wisdom. What does living a life of wisdom have to do with honoring my parents? Read the book of Proverbs.
39:55 And here's one verse, Proverbs seventeen twenty five. A foolish son is a grief to his father and bitterness to her own to her to her rather who bore him. Now, a foolish parent is not too concerned if their son or daughter is foolish. They're just a big bundle of fools. But a righteous mother, a God fearing father that has invested, yes, the practical things in life, but also the things concerning the Lord, The word of God.
40:28 How to walk with integrity and character in this life. When one chooses to live a lifestyle contrary to that, there is, in a sense, dishonor being given over to the parents. I remember talking to a certain individual, and this this verse confirms something in my own heart concerning this person. This person was struggling in the faith. This person really was struggling, and honestly, wrestling with God concerning, is is is this thing real out of all the faiths?
40:56 Is this thing for sure just a lot of doubts? And I remember this person said this. I I can't see myself going the opposite direction because I know the pain it will bring to my parents who are godly parents. And I'll be honest, immediately when I heard that, I thought to myself, you should you should be concerned about God. The fact that there's a living God and he's calling you to be in relationship with him.
41:24 But what he said was true in some sense. There is some validity to that statement. Yes, obviously God and your own salvation and your own walk with the Lord. But he had this understanding, my parents poured into me. My parents had expectations concerning my walk with Christ.
41:40 And for me to walk in contrary to that would bring pain and grief to them. I'm dishonoring them in some sense, and rightfully so. There is some merit to that understanding. Obviously, first, again, let me say God first. But But when you have godly parents, and when you choose to live a lifestyle that's contrary to how they brought you up, whether you know it or not, you're bringing grief to them.
42:05 Remember Esau? Look what it said of Esau in Genesis twenty six thirty five. And they, because he married he married a type of woman that was not supposed to be The one for him. And more than one at that. And it says here they made life bitter for Isaac and Rebecca.
42:29 What a commentary for somebody's life. Hebrews 12 tells us that he was sexually immoral. He was just living his own ways, and it affected his parents. You and I living a life of wisdom, maybe not in a direct way, it directly benefits us, but in an indirect way. It honors our parents.
42:47 It does not bring shame to them. When your name comes up in life, there's a sense in which they walk with not proud and pride in their own in their own strength, but understanding God has, yes, touched my son, and he's walking the ways of God. My daughter is living for Jesus Christ, and I praise God for that. Not only that, how do we honor our father and mother? Does anybody else have another idea?
43:20 Honoring them the way we address them, living a life of wisdom. And at a certain point in life, the Bible gives us insight that we are to financially support. We are to financially support. If you want to turn there, Mark chapter seven. The Pharisees got in trouble with Jesus again.
43:42 The Pharisees got in trouble with Jesus again. Mark seven:nine. Look what Jesus said. And he said to them, you have a fine way of rejecting the commandment of God in order to establish your tradition. For Moses said, 'Honor your father and your mother, and whoever reviles father or mother shall surely die.' But you say, If a man tells his father or mother, whatever you would have gained from me is korban, that is, given to God, then you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or mother, thus making void the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down, and many such things you do.
44:29 This is the only time in the entire scripture where this word, korban, is mentioned. Does anybody know what qurban means? Does anybody have anybody heard about this term before in scripture? What does it mean in Arabic? Yes.
44:49 And that's precisely it. So here, let's understand this together. The Pharisees were accusing Jesus and the disciples for breaking the traditions of man. And Jesus doesn't have a problem with tradition. He has a problem when tradition tries to trump over the Word of God.
45:10 And so he looks at the Pharisees, he says, you have a fine way of breaking the command of God for your tradition. And he points out this specific tradition. This was the tradition that the Pharisees developed. They developed this idea that you can do this thing called qurban. And what was it?
45:26 It was you offering something to the temple. You giving something over to the service of God in a way that would finance the Pharisees in some sense. And by doing so, you are not forced to take care of your parents in their old age because you've done korban. You've dedicated your wealth to the temple. And the Pharisees and their hypocrisy would do this as well.
45:53 In the end, getting the money for themselves, neglecting the command of honoring your father and your mother. And so he points out their hypocrisy. Now here's the worst part. If somebody wanted to pull out of Korban, if someone wanted to say, no. I made a mistake and I know my parents need some help, and they they pull out of that dedication, the Pharisees would point them out and say, hey.
46:11 You made a vow to God. If you break a vow to God, you're in deep trouble. Do you see how they trapped them? You see why Jesus was angry? He says, you've completely neglected the command of honoring your father and mother for your for your tradition, and you're trapping people with this idea.
46:26 And it says something to us about what it means to honor them. That we are to, in their old age, regard their needs, be mindful of it, realize that they maybe become very dependent, and they become a responsibility unto us. And Jesus realized that. Jesus taught that. Jesus expected that, which goes on to the next point.
46:55 And there are many many ways of honoring, but I wanna end it here. That we because a lot of us in here are transitioning into life where we become independent. But a major way that you and I honor our father and mother is that we give attention to them in their old age. Proverbs twenty three twenty two, listen to your father who gave you life. You see that?
47:22 Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old. We grow up in life. We get a job. We get our own family. We move forward.
47:37 We get busy. And the Lord commands, you know, when life does get busy, I'm asking you to do something. Don't forget your parents in their old age. The idea of despising is presented there because they could become a burden. That's the cycle of life.
47:56 Isn't the cycle of life amazing? That here's your parents, your mother, let's say, who takes care of you, again, in your infancy, totally dependent, needing somebody to feed you, needing somebody to clothe you, needing somebody to raise you up, needing somebody to take you from a room to another, And you grow up in life. And as your parents grow old, they are falling back into that same state as an old person. They now need somebody to lift them up in their strength and their weakness. They need somebody perhaps to feed them.
48:24 They need somebody to move them from root to root. They need somebody to transport them out. And what the Lord is saying in the principle of the scripture is, you as a person who have been receiving that your whole life, give it back to them in their old age. Don't forget them. Don't neglect them.
48:40 Don't don't move forward. This is convicting to all of us because we're all so busy in this society. And there are many interviews and studies about people in old age homes that are heart stricken because their family doesn't visit them anymore. Their parents don't even check up on them. And this requires this command requires us to return the investment that has been given unto us.
49:13 And this is where it gets kind of convicting. Are we mindful of them in life? Do we check up on them? Do we even give them a call anymore? I mean, here are your parents that poured into you, that have prayed over you, that have asked God to lead you, and then we just move on in life and we don't even check up on them anymore.
49:41 We don't even say hello anymore. We don't even ask if they need anything anymore. And God says, no. That's that's not what the people of God do. They don't neglect in their old age.
49:54 They're mindful. They are aware. They're sensitive. Can you think of an example of dishonor in the Bible, specifically to a parent? Yes.
50:12 That's precisely the one I was thinking about. Noah. Genesis. You can turn there. Genesis chapter nine Verse 20.
50:31 Noah began to be a man of the soil, and he planted a vineyard. He drank of the wine and became drunk and laid uncovered in his tent. Notice that, in his tent. And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father and told his two brothers outside. Then Shem and Japheth took a garment, laid it on both their shoulders, and walked backward and covered the nakedness of their father.
50:58 Their faces were turned backward and they did not see their father's nakedness. Now stop there. Does that there's any is there anything wrong with that if you just read it? Ham walks in, he sees his father's nakedness, and he goes and he tells his brother. The brothers hear the what happened.
51:14 They go in. They cover. And it just seems like a normal situation that's being unfolded until verse 24. When Noah awoke from his wine and knew what his youngest son had done to him, he said, cursed be Canaan, a servant of servants shall he be to his brothers. There's a lot of controversy around this text.
51:32 There's a lot of debate of what Ham did, but there's a simple understanding from the surface level reading of this. Yes. Ham could have just covered up his father by himself when he went and said to his brother, say, come to look what dad did. Absolutely. That's simple.
51:49 That's what it is. What Ham had done was he saw his father who was in his tent, and he made what was private public. He made what was private, what was known only to him, and he exposed it, And he delighted in his shame. And he went out not with the desire to restore his father. He went out with the desire to expose his father, which is contrary to the nature of God because if you go back to Genesis three, when Adam and Eve sinned, God covered them.
52:27 He covered them with grace. And Ham and Japheth rather Japheth and Shem are honored because in light of the revelation of the shortcoming of their father, they go in and they cover him. So what what Ham did was blurred out the failure of his father with no desire to see him restored, with no desire to see him uplifted, with nothing in mind of grace, and some debate that he actually did more than that, that he did something to him. That's what he said in verse 24. Him had done something to me.
53:07 And I don't want to get too much into that because it gets really twisted. But the surface level reading of this is that he did dishonor him. He did dishonor him because his attitude was not he wasn't going out with concern and saying, Hey, we gotta cover our father. Hey, we gotta do something. He went out with the intention of mocking and bringing ultimately dishonor to his father.
53:31 Can you think of a beautiful picture of honor in the New Testament or the Old Testament? The Son of God himself, Jesus Christ, who fulfilled all righteousness, including honor your father and your mother. When Jesus was on the cross, there were seven statements in total made. Seven statements. Can can anybody think of one of those statements?
54:02 Let's just say them out if you know them. What were the statements that Jesus made on the cross specifically? Thirsty. I thirst. That's one.
54:13 It is finished. Father forgive them. That's three. Take care of them. Take care of them.
54:19 That's one. We're gonna get to that one. What are the other ones? This is a good test. I've forsaken.
54:28 My god. My god. Why have you forsaken me? I've forsaken my That's four. Today you will be with me in paradise.
54:37 That's five. Yes. This is the low one that we're coming to. Just think about think about the the the impactful theological truths to those statements that he made there. What else?
54:51 We're missing a couple. Receive my spirit. Receive my spirit. And the last one is in John 19. This is not specifically in order.
55:02 John nineteen twenty six, 27, when Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, woman, behold your son. Then he said to the disciple, behold your mother. And from that hour, the disciple took her to his own home. Mind boggling. Jesus was on the cross, suffering, flesh and bone exposed, suffocating, blood blinding his sight, wounds exposed to the bumpy wooden cross on his back and the flesh.
55:50 What would be on your mind if you were crucified? What would be going on through your thoughts if you were nailed to a cross after being scorched almost nearly to death itself? You know what was on the mind of Christ? The well-being of his mother. What was going on through his mind?
56:10 Who's gonna take care of my mother when I pass on? When I enter into glory? Which says something about Mary that Joseph obviously is not on the scene anymore, so she's a widow. And Jesus took on the responsibility. And knowing that, he said, there's gotta be something done for her.
56:28 This is what's going on through the mind of Christ, the well-being of Mary. And so he looks at John and says, John, this is your mother now. Take care of her. Watch over her. Make sure that she's okay in her old age.
56:46 And he is fulfilling even to his dying breath the fifth commandment, honor your father and your mother, which convicts me to the core. Why? Because this text shows me that honoring has nothing to do about how I feel. If you ever feel like you can't honor, put yourself on a cross Because Jesus is our example. And even on the cross, he said, I honor you.
57:21 If you and I ever get too busy in life, and we, all of us included, can justify ourselves as I'm just too busy to give attention or to even just check up on the one who gave birth, the one who provided me throughout my whole life. Remember the cross. Do you see how it all comes to the cross? Remember the cross. Selfless, sacrificial, obedient.
57:52 And we see that Jesus honored Mary, And Mary was not perfect. Don't get the idea that Mary is perfect. Mary is not to be worshipped or sought after as a mediator or prayed to. She's not. Jesus is the only mediator.
58:13 And she wasn't perfect. Mark three twenty one tells us that when Jesus was working for his father, heavenly father, that his entire family, because he was going on without even eating, he was serving the Lord to the point where he became hungry, his father. And his family said that he was crazy. And they actually said, he is out of his mind. But even in her lack of understanding at times.
58:42 And she's human. I'm sure she has shortcomings too. He's still honored. He's still honored. And we say, okay.
58:53 We understand what it means to honor. We have understandings of what honor is and what that looks like practically. Now here's the blessing that comes from honoring. There's a blessing in the understanding of Israel as a nation. And once again, we saw in Ephesians six that there is a blessing concerning the new covenant believer.
59:10 So when we come back to Exodus 20 as we conclude, it says here that if you honor, Your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God has given you. What does that mean for the Israelite, do you think? What does that mean for the nation? Yes. For visualizing, we believe that they make most of the promises that god has made.
59:38 Absolutely. It's just a general understanding. If I obey this, god will bless me. Sure. Sure.
59:44 If I obey this, I'm not gonna be put to death. Exodus twenty one fifteen and seventeen. Makes complete sense. A direct understanding of obedience. But come back to the understanding of the ripple effect.
59:57 They'll they'll make that promise land. They'll be in the promised land, and they'll be able to sustain the Promised Land because everything will be in order concerning how God established authority. And so what I believe he's saying here is that if you obey, you will reap the full benefits of the Promised Land. You will enjoy the fruit of it. And in fact, in Ezekiel, the prophet tells him that one of the reasons why they're going into exile is because father and mother are held in contempt.
1:00:23 Those are one of the indictments that he gives the nation. He says, you don't respect your parents. You don't honor your parents. It's time to go. You're not let you're not staying in the promised land any longer.
1:00:33 And so as long as they obeyed, they enhanced their experience in the promised land. Simple. It makes complete understanding. And I believe though, though that is the general sense, I believe in an obscure text shown in Jeremiah that the Lord himself, again, takes special delight and will extend special honor to those who honor their parents. Has anybody here heard of the Rechabites?
1:01:03 Rechabites? Jeremiah 35. God calls the Rechabites out to set the nation of Israel an example. The Rechabites obeyed their forefathers for many, many, many years. And God says, you know, Jeremiah, I want you to go to the Rechabites because I want to pull the Rechabites out, and I want them to see how they obey their father.
1:01:24 And I wanna show the nation that if they can obey their earthly father, how can they not obey me, their heavenly father? And he he he talks to them, and he uses Jeremiah to bring a glass of wine. He says, drink. And here's some of the Rechabites sitting there going, uh-uh. We can't drink.
1:01:43 Why? Because our father told us never to drink wine for generation on end, and we honor him. He gave us a word to be consecrated. We're gonna be consecrated. Whatever he says goes.
1:01:56 We appreciate you, prophet, but we can't sip the wine. And God used that as an example to say, hey. Look. They're willing to obey their father in Jeremiah 3five eighteen and nineteen. Why can't you obey me?
1:02:13 But he says this thing at the end of this illustration relating to the Rechabites. Look what he says here. But to the house of the Rechabites in Jeremiah 3five 18, Jeremiah said, thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, because you have obeyed the command of Jonadab your father and kept all his precepts and done all that he commanded you, Therefore, thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, Jonadab the son of Rechab shall never lack a man to stand before me. And I believe here in this specific text, in this specific understanding right here, that God gave special honor to the Rechabites because they held fast to the word of their father. He honored them specifically for honoring their father.
1:02:57 And so there's a special attention. There's a special blessing God and his wisdom will give. And for them, it was to stand before the Lord. And people debate what that means, what that looks like. Whatever it is, it sounds really good to stand before the Lord.
1:03:15 So then, if that's for Israel, what does it mean for you and me? In light of Ephesians six? Because he tells them, obey your father and mother, and then he quotes the promise. But we don't have a land. It's not about us having a land and not going into exile.
1:03:35 We're new covenant believers. So what does that promise look like? What does that blessing look like as it's unfolded? I believe it's the simplicity of this principle. The context, again, is Christian parents teaching their family, their kids how to walk in the ways of the Lord.
1:03:58 Remember, fathers do not provoke your children to anger, but what? Instruct them. Discipline them in the Lord. And I believe the blessing comes from receiving that instruction concerning the word of God, and as a natural result, you walking out in the blessings that are found in the entire word of God. You understand what I mean?
1:04:18 For example, in Proverbs one eight, the entire book of Proverbs has a tone. There is a relational understanding of how we are to read it. Does anybody know the relationship there? My son. My son, hear my instruction.
1:04:37 Do not neglect your mother's teaching. And so the whole book of Proverbs is to be even understood as us being children and hearing the wisdom of our father and mother. And if you've ever read through the book of Proverbs, you can see a lot of things can be avoided if we obey them. And a lot of things can be gained if we obey them. A lot of blessings can be absorbed by our obedience to the instructions given by our parents.
1:05:03 So what are the blessings? It's the practical understanding that obeying, we we limit ourselves from risking pain and regret and in every area of life. In every area in life. And so the blessing is this, you have a longer chance of living when you obey your parents' instruction concerning how to live for Christ. And when you don't, you put yourself at a greater risk of not living longer in the land.
1:05:34 I'm concluding with this. I'm fully aware that this is very practical. It's just gonna get even more practical as we go through these commands. But we have to ask ourselves in light of this, God, am I not honoring my parents? And God, because I long to walk in every area of my life, not some spirit.
1:06:02 I don't wanna be a a prayer warrior and not know how to talk rightly to my mom. I don't wanna be an evangelist, but I don't know how to give attention to my elderly father. God wants Christ likeness in every sphere of life, including this. Would you find it in your heart to ask the Lord, Lord, show me in my heart how I can honor. Show me where there is a lack of honor, whatever it may be.
1:06:32 And Lord, if I fail in this area or I become discouraged in this area, or I feel like not being consistent in this area, may I remember you on the cross where you did not, even at that moment, neglect such a command? Lord, show me how I can be intentional to honoring, not just whimsically as I go on through life, but show me how I can intentionally say the same way I'm intentional of praying, and the same way I'm intentional of preaching the gospel, and the same way I'm intentional of giving to the church. Lord, show me how I can be intentional in honoring my mother and honoring my father. Maybe it's you going the extra mile. Maybe it's you just obeying from the beginning and not fighting what they say.
1:07:21 Maybe it's you just calling them once a week. Maybe it's you going, in some sense, not just parents, grandparents, let's say, and shoveling their driveway because they're too old to do it. And we hear this, we go, come on, man. Let let's let's get to the spiritual stuff. This is spiritual.
1:07:40 This is Christ likeness. This is what he asks of us. Honor your father and your mother. There'll be blessing. If you don't want the blessing, do it for me because it pleases the Lord.
1:07:56 Let's pray. Father, we come in conviction. We come with our hearts cut. We come exposed. We come realizing maybe even tonight, I did not even realize that was an that was that was something I needed to understand.
1:08:18 That was something that I need to walk out more faithfully. But Lord, you're faithful to speak to us. You're so faithful to speak to us. And, Lord, we covered a lot. There are so many things said.
1:08:34 Lord, there are some people in here, we have no idea what their family life is like. We have no clue what their relationship with their parents are like. Perhaps there is abuse. Perhaps there is neglect. Perhaps there is intentional harm being done.
1:08:47 Lord, in your grace and mercy, would you help them to know how to honor even in in light of all of that? Father, some of us have godly parents, not perfect parents, godly parents that have invested so much in us, that have sacrificed so much for us, and we've just allowed the busyness of life to drift away from being intentional and honoring. Father, some of us maybe have an attitude problem, and we treat our parents like ordinary people when you have lifted up lifted them up to high esteem, that they are to be honored. Lord, sanctify us. Cleanse our lips.
1:09:36 Cleanse our hearts. Thank you for the example that you've set being on the cross, Lord Jesus. Displaying total selflessness that when you were dying, when you were taking upon the sin of the world on your shoulders, yet in the midst of all of that and in the midst of all the statements you have made concerning who you are in your humanity, you said, behold your mother. You had Mary in mind. Oh, may we be the same way.
1:10:25 May we be the same way. Lord, when we ask that we wanna walk like Jesus, we are embracing the truth that it involves honoring our father and mother. And so help us to do that tonight. We pray that you would speak into the hearts of the people to know how we can do that practically in our lives, in our context. Show us how we can embrace this command.
1:10:49 And in all of this, glorify your name in a culture that does not know honor, in a culture that does not know authority and what that means relating to our response to it. Father, help us be the people of God in light of this command. And Lord, we ultimately worship you, our heavenly father. And we give you our honor tonight. We give you our adoration.
1:11:21 Even if we've grown up with parents that maybe did not reflect you, we realize that you've adopted us and that you are one never to fail. You are one never to neglect. You are one to never forsake. You are always there. And if anybody is in that pain of not understanding what a good father looks like, what a good mother looks like, Lord, may you make yourself clear in the minds of every individual in this place.
1:11:45 And may it cause us to worship you, not just in song, but in deed. Lord, we come. We say thank you for the conviction of the Holy Spirit. Thank you for the commands that expose our wickedness. Thank you that you've answered our prayer when we say, Lord, help me walk like Jesus, and we say yes to it.
