2 Samuel 13 (Part 1) Bible Study (Amnon and Tamar) | Pastor Daniel Batarseh

Do you have your Bibles tonight? Second Samuel chapter 13 is where we're meeting tonight. And as you're there, I would like to begin by saying the apostle Paul assures us and warns us by the Holy Spirit in Galatians six seven, do not be deceived. God is not mocked. Whatever a man sows, that will he also, what, reap.

That whatever he sows, will he also reap. If If you've been with us, you know that in second Samuel chapter 11, David has sowed much into unfortunate things. He sowed much into his lust, into deception, into betrayal, to murder, and we are now about to see him reaping from the same tragedies through a series of catastrophes that will essentially cover the rest of our study in the book of second Samuel. We've already seen that David has experienced some sorrow with the death of the child that he had with Bathsheba, and that is just the beginning of many griefs. And these tragedies, these atrocities that will follow David for the rest of his life will will be close to home.

In fact, they will emerge from his own home. And there's this strange notion that people have about how God's forgiveness works because one of the overarching truths that will be constantly before us for the following chapters until the last period mark of this book is that forgiven sin still has consequences. The Lord is ready to pardon. He is quick to receive us over and over again, but his willingness for us to be reconciled back to him does not always promise every outcome being canceled equally. We can thank God that when we do turn from our evil, he promises us restored fellowship, and he promises us a security of his favor to shine over us.

But depending on the nature of the sin that we commit, it is very true that we cannot predict the outcomes that can sometimes even be life lasting. They can burn and remain to some degree on us and around us and before us. And that truth alone should discourage the tempted saint who finds themselves very near to the edge of compromise because they soothe themselves with the idea that God is very, very quick to forgive. Why? Because even forgiven sin can have consequences.

And that is precisely what we are going to see here in this chapter. Because starting here in this verse, verse one of chapter 13, you and I are going to see David's dishonorable example reproduced in his adult children. Now we don't know how much of David's failure was made known to his family. Things catch on quick. Things can spread quick.

But one thing is for certain, according to first Kings chapter one, David was not the most exemplary father. He was very slow to discipline his children. And even just in practical living, he didn't he didn't really showcase the most honorable way of living and making decisions, especially in the area of relationships. And so we're going to see some some tragedies. It's not it's not gonna be the brightest bible study moving forward from chapter 13 onward.

And the first person that's going to replay some of the shameful things that David has done, though in different forms, is going to be Amnon, David's eldest son according to first Chronicles chapter three verse one. And what Abnan is going to do here is a grievous violation of of many things. And I wanna give you a heads up. This is not going to be the most comfortable Bible study to engage with. It's not going to be the most comforting things you're going to hear and read.

Nonetheless, the holy spirit included in his word for a reason, and the inclusion of the story invites us to explore and investigate what it is that God wants to say with great humility and eagerness. And so before we begin, we have to trust that the Lord has brought us this detailed account with the purpose of giving us valuable lessons, valuable treasures no matter how dark or uneasy it's going to be to digest. And so with all that being said, I want us to read the first few verses, and then we will take our time to understand what is taking place. In verse one of chapter 13, we read, now Absalom, David's son, had a beautiful sister whose name was Tamar. And after a time, Amnon, David's son, loved her.

And Amnon was so tormented that he made himself ill because of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible to Amnon to do anything to her. But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shemaiah, David's brother. And Jonadab was a very crafty man. And he said to him, O son of the king, why are you so haggard morning after morning? Will you not tell me?

Amnon said to him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister. Jonadab said to him, Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, Let my sister Tamar come and give me bread to eat, and prepare the food in my sight that I may see it and eat it from her hand. I want us to begin this study by looking at three things concerning this man Amnon. The first thing is going to be Amnon's privilege.

The second thing will be Amnon's passions, and lastly, we're going to look at Amnon's pressure. Amnon's privilege. Verse one tells us clearly that he was David's son. You heard me say earlier that he was not just one of David's sons. He was the eldest son according to first Chronicles three verse one.

Now all of that should paint the picture of the privilege that this young man had. He was royalty. He was born into unmeasured prosperity, and he was born into a world with unlimited opportunity. And with all of the prestige and the position and the resources that were made available to Amnon, on top of that, the favorable blessings that would come to him simply because of his birth order, this man was so far from being holy, so far from being whole, so far from being in the will of God which promises great blessing and protection. And I think that's insightful for many reasons especially in the culture that we're living in today because the leaders of our country propose very vain and hollow strategies with the promise that it will bring us that much closer to harmony in society.

These methods include something along the lines of if we just give troublemakers a better environment, then they will calm down and they they will build themselves up and they will build a better future for themselves and for their offspring and for their surrounding area, or if we just offer more financial assistance to those who are self destructive, then then we will see some level of peace in our midst. And we know that Adam and Eve already proves that to be wrong. They were in a perfect environment, and they mess everything up. And that is vividly described even here illustrated with Amnon. With so much at his disposal, he was intensely corrupt within.

He would not only destroy his life, but those around him, innocent parties. Resources don't regenerate people. The Holy Spirit only does that. Transformation comes from the inside out, not from the outside in. If you attempt to change things from the outside in, you're wasting your time and you're wasting your resources.

If we wanna see neighborhoods altered, if we wanna see cities altered, if we wanna see schools altered, if we wanna see all these things that we desire to see, begins with a human heart. And you can't change what is immaterial with that which is material. Only the Holy Spirit can come in with the truth of the gospel and bring about the transformation that is necessary to cause a ripple effect around day to day life. Emmon here proves, and his biography reminds us, that you can be a prince in a palace and still cause havoc in your own life and around those things that you think will promise so much pleasure and satisfaction. It's just not gonna happen.

There's a wonderful proverb that came to mind when I read about Amnon's biography very briefly, and it is this. In Proverbs fifteen sixteen, we are told better is a little with the fear of the Lord than great treasure with trouble with it. Better is little with the fear of the Lord than great treasure with trouble with it. I love how the parallelism there show shows us that the spirit contrasts the fear of the Lord with trouble. You wanna avoid trouble?

Get the fear of God. You wanna invite trouble? Remove the fear of God. And that proverb also gives us an ultimatum in some sense. If you had a choice between having great treasure void of the fear of God governing your life or with contentment accepting much little but having the fear of the Lord reigning over your life, choose the latter always.

You are way better off having the fear of the Lord than unlimited numbers on that screen when you click into your bank account or whatever things that you can do at the snap of a finger. Better is little with the fear of the Lord than great treasure with trouble with it. And all how the Bible even tells us on many occasions that there is much trouble that comes with great wealth. I wouldn't ask God for more in this life unless you are saturated and anchored in your reverence for God, who He is and what He is able to do, or else you're headed for for trouble, I'm telling you. So we look at Amnon's privilege.

Right? We look at Amnon's privilege. Now we look at his passions. And we read here that he loved Tamar who is David's daughter from another mother. This is Amnon's half sister.

They have the same father. And what's interesting is all we know about her is that she was beautiful, which tells me she her mom must have been beautiful because Absalom, her brother, was also a very handsome man. So it says something about the mother. She was beautiful. She was a virgin, and she was the sister of Absalom.

And we're told about Absalom early on because we're being prepared. He's gonna be a key instigator to David's upcoming troubles and problems. He's gonna be a main character in afflicting much pain to David's life. The love that Amnon had for Tamar here raises a red flag, doesn't it? Why?

Yeah. You know it. And on top of that, we are told according to Leviticus eighteen nine, we are told plain and clear that it is prohibited to have any kind of intimate relationship with people from your immediate family. And so this is a law thing. This is not just a personal opinion thing or a cultural thing.

This is even inscribed in the law. And so we already know something about about Amnon's desires. They're unnatural, and they're unlawful. According to the law of God, it's clear. And this brief insight into this man's heart already conveys that he was a man who lacked character and obvious conviction.

He loved Tamar. He's about to do something simply because of what he feels. He feels these strong emotions, and that's going to determine how he's going to act in just a few short moments. Even though it violates God's clear commands, it doesn't matter to Amnon. And I'm I can't help but be reminded of the mantra of our day.

The most of the abominable things that we're parading and tolerating is all done in the name of what? Love. Is it not? Love. It's all love.

Just just slap the label love on it, and we can justify it. No matter how illegitimate those impulses are, it is often backed up by what? Infatuation and strong attraction and sometimes even this love element or this love idea. It's love. It's love.

And if we dismiss God's parameters of what we should act on and what we should resist by the power of the Holy Spirit, Live under that banner long enough, and you will be led into, whether individually or as a culture, into perversions. As we will see here, this is gonna be a very perverted thing that's about to take place, and it's true across the board. If you live under that mantra, if you justify your worldview by subjective understanding of what love means or what love is or what love feels like or what love does, you're headed for a great, great confusion and abomination. Because Paul tells me in first Corinthians thirteen six that love rejoices with the truth. If my love contradicts the truth, it's not love.

It's something else. It rejoices with the truth. And we see here that this man's love, whatever it is, it's not true love because it's not love in truth. In fact, when you read verse two as you heard it, you're gonna see the quality of this man's affections for this woman. And Amnon was so tormented that he made himself ill because of his sister.

Now look at the language here. For she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible to Amnon to do anything to her. That's not love language. That's lust language. And the torment of this man was not that Tamar was a upstanding woman who was unwilling to be allured by fellow men.

It was because as a princess, as a daughter of the king, and as a virgin, she was protected in a certain way. Physically, I'm speaking of. She she lived in a certain place. She was constantly surrounded by certain people. She was protected.

She was guarded. And this bothered Amnon because he wanted just one opportunity to be with her in order to take advantage of her. I'm already looking at some of your faces and you're already disturbed. Hang on. It's gonna get it's gonna get darker.

And so what we see here is that this man was so obviously disturbed that he came to the point where he became sick, physically sick. He couldn't eat, he couldn't sleep, and it was it was noticeable, so noticeable that one of his close friends asked him what was going on. And so this temptation morphed into an obsession, and that is Amnon's fault. We can argue that the feelings that Amnon had were beyond his control. Right?

You can't you can't necessarily control what visits your emotions or what ideas spring up in your mind. But Emman fed it. He nurtured it. He entertained it. He imagined it.

He fantasized about it, and it became stronger and it took a greater control over his life to the point where it spilled over into his actual appearance. And that's what we see here in verse two, do we not? Anan was so tormented that he made himself, he made himself ill. He allowed himself to come to this point. He allowed those feelings to drive him to such a low state.

And so be be reminded, I'm sure many of us in here would be would be very hesitant to share what has crossed through our minds. You may not be able to determine that, but what you can determine is how far it goes. And that is completely our responsibility. And one of the means by which the inflation of these temptations becoming so much more, one of the means by which we can puncture that so it deflates and has a less of a grip on our hearts is by God providing people outside of us to speak into our lives, to keep us accountable, to remind us of God's truth, and to keep us in the right lane before we allow self deception to steer us in the wrong direction. I've quoted this verse so many times.

I hope you've memorized it. You've heard me preach it at Maranatha. You heard me reference it from time to time. We're told in Hebrews three thirteen, but exhort one another every day as long as it is called today, lest any of you be deceived or hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. Do you see the the prescription there, the plan there?

Exhort one another every day as long as it is called today, lest your heart become hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. And so God has prescribed outside sources, namely people who love the truth and love him, to play a part in keeping my heart soft and tender, lest I become crystalized in the passions of my flesh. And that is something that Amnon unfortunately lacked because the the straw that's gonna break the camel's back, so to speak, is going to be the wrong friend. Because what what we're told there in Hebrews three thirteen, it works in the negative. Positively, if I have the right people around me who exhort me, then I can assure greater safety in my sanctification.

By the same token, if I have the wrong people, they can encourage me into unholiness and sin, degradation. Emden's privilege, emden's passions, emden's pressure. Look at verse three again. Five words, but Amnon had a friend. But Amnon had a friend.

Those five words would shape his future and the future of others. It is the sad commentary of the turning point of this man's life. But Amnon had a friend. And, unfortunately, it can be said of many that they are not where they're supposed to be because fill in the blank had a friend. Fill in the blank had a friend.

Amnon had a friend. And the language there, but Amnon had a friend, it implies that what Amnon is about to do was in great part stirred up by this friend that we're about to read about, was led and and encouraged by this man. And so here's the thing, whether you and I want to admit it or not, it is true. The people we allow in our inner circles have future shaping influence. Whether you're aware of that or not, you've heard the popular saying, show me your your friends, your five closest friends, and I'll show you it would be five years.

I don't know if I butchered or not. Something along those lines. But it's true. I understand the sentiment. I understand the argument.

I understand the philosophy. It's biblical. It's biblical. Amnon had a friend, and it was that verse that the Holy Spirit used in my life to help me identify people throughout my life and to place them in two categories among many. Can I share those categories with you?

Two simple categories among many. There are other categories as well. There are people in my life who are going to, one, either help me fight my temptation, or two, they will help me fuel my temptation. There are people who are going to help me fight my temptation or they're going to fuel my temptation. One, I am to embrace, and the other, I am to resist and reject in humility, but also in great wisdom.

And that is a very helpful way to navigate in your life as people come in and out. And understand that in the same way God brings people in your life to bless you, Satan does the same to curse you. God has his agents. God has his ambassadors. So does the devil.

And so you know people that you can say, you're a blessing. You're a gift to me. Well, know this. The enemy will also do the same to bring about a burden instead of a blessing. And so you and I need the discernment to be able to say, is this a person that's going to help me fight the good fight of faith, or is this person going to dramatically influence me in the wrong direction?

Unfortunately, in Amnon's case, Jonadab was the latter. And the descriptions of who this man is given to us in this text is instrumental in helping us be able to discern beyond the surface level. So there are things about Jonadad that will help you and I, to some degree, be able to look past what we might be tricked by and to understand how it is I can qualify worthy candidates in my inner circle. Because relationships is important in our walk with the Lord. Let's look at a few things.

What's the man's name? Does anybody know what that name means? Jonadab? Wouldn't it be Jonadab? Jonadab.

Yo. Yes. We're there almost. Jehovah is willing. Jehovah is willing.

What's the big deal? Here's the big deal. Jonadab obviously has a name that identifies the truth about the true God. Jonadab had an identity that was close to whenever you would call upon him, whenever he was referred to, whenever he was asked for something, the hearer would be reminded of something concerning God. Now here's the problem.

Although he had an identity in that, his worldview strongly contradicted the God that his name represented. Here's the lesson for you and I, it really doesn't matter if that person, whatever kind of relationship they have to you, if they identify with God, if they claim things about God, if they have a label of truth on their lives, they profess, they post, has very little value to whether or not that person is worthy to walk hand in hand with you in this life. You have to look past that. And it was a psalmist who said in Psalm one nineteen very clearly, the unite verse 63, I am a companion of all who what? Who fear you.

I am a companion in Psalm one nineteen verse 63. I am a companion of all who fear you, of those who keep your precepts. And say I'm a companion of all those who believe in you. I'm a companion of all those who confess you. No.

I'm a companion of those who fear you, of those who keep your precepts. In other words, I'm looking at the observable traits of your life, the convictions that are lived out or not lived out. That's what I'm looking for. And when I determine that this is a person who truly keeps the precepts of God, I'm gonna be your companion. I'll allow you to be mine.

It didn't add any value to Ennin. The fact that Jonadab was named Jonadab and that his name was identified with the truth of who the true God is. And so be careful. Be careful. Oh, he says he's a Christian, and he's cute.

Who cares? Does he fear the Lord? Does he keep the precepts of the Lord? Be careful. If that's your standard, then you're headed for trouble.

I'm telling you. If if all your standard is that he's he's willing to come to church thirty six weeks out of the year and he calls himself a Christian, be very, very careful. Secondly, we learned that Jonadab was also not Amnon's friend. He was Amnon's cousin. Don't we see that?

Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonah, the son of Shemaiah, David's brother, first cousins first cousins. So we have permission to believe that they have history together. They shared an upbringing. They they probably had many memories growing up over the years. And such a relationship with long history can be a gift, but it can also be a curse.

And the reason why it can be a curse is because that kind of a history, those ties, the the memories, the laughter, the joys, the cries, all those things can have a very binding influence on someone's allegiance. And the trouble here is the trouble that Jesus predicted about discipleship, that one can elevate a person, whether in their family or outside their family, to the point where they're denied true discipleship. Because what will decipher and determine whether a blessing or a curse can come from a close member of our family or a close friend that we grew up with is whether or not they take precedence over the word of God. If that person has more authority or sway in your thinking and in your planning and in your decisions more than the voice of the Lord, that's troubling, that's dangerous. And that was the case for this man.

Jonah that very likely had a very special place in his heart, and he lacked the conviction to be able to determine, I will deny all other voices if they encourage me to deny the voice of my shepherd. If any advice or counsel will come and conflict with what God has made clear to me that I must stand with my God even if I stand alone. That was so void in Amnon's life. And there's a side note for this as well, because Jonadab is presented in a way like people in our lives that are almost unavoidable. You have family that are unavoidable sometimes.

Right? I mean there's there's celebrations or even a home that you have to walk into day after day where you're going to meet people and do life with people that don't see the way you see, that don't live the way you live. And here's the warning based on what we see with Jonadab and Amnon, be aware of allowing the familiarity of other people's presence to erode that strong anchoring conviction of living before God, of living before God. Because sometimes things can just over time begin to have a firmer grasp on you. And so constantly be aware, be vigilant, be strong, stay in the presence of God day after day, lest over time someone that is near and dear would hijack something that was so strong at one point.

Lastly, we learned something else about Jonadab. What are we said what are we told about what he was like? He was a very crafty man, a very crafty man. Now depending on the context, that can be really good or really bad, and we already know that this is bad. This is a flag.

And it's not only evidence in how Jonadab is about to give and propose a scheme for Amnon in order to satisfy his lust. We even see it in the next time that he's mentioned in this very same story. The next time Jonadab is introduced to us after this whole ordeal gives us greater understanding of just how conniving he really was. Can I show it to you? Scroll down.

You're in chapter 13. Scroll down to verse 32. Here's what happens. Amnon was assassinated. K.

Absalom takes vengeance. He kills Amnon, and news comes to David. And, like, when you play telephone, things get mistranslated very quickly. So news arrives to David, and here's the news. All of the king's sons have died.

David is overcome with grief. He expresses the pain of such a tragedy, calamity. And who's on the scene to bring about the accurate report? Jonadab. And look what he says.

But Jonadab, the son of Shemaiah, David's brother, said, let not my lord suppose that they have killed all the young men, the king's sons, for Amnon alone is dead. This is the part. You ready? For by the command of Absalom, this has been determined from the day he violated his sister Tamar. Did you see it?

What's concerning about that report? That he knew that he knew from the day that Tamar was raped that an Absalom rather had it in his heart to plot to kill An. How did he know? How did he know? Was he confidant to Absalom as well?

And if he had known, makes you wonder, did he try to convince Absalom not to do it? Did he try to convince Absalom not to cause even more grief by returning evil with evil? Okay. More importantly, if he had known, as he claims, why didn't he go tell Amnon about it? What happened when Rebecca learned that Esau was comforting himself with the thought of killing Jacob?

What did she tell Jacob to do? Go to Laban's house. Go to my brother's house, flee to your uncle. I will call for you when his anger subsides, which she never does, which probably shows that Esau stayed angry for a long time. Yeah.

When you care about something and you hear that somebody's trying to kill them, you kinda give him a heads up. We don't see any of that. We have no reason to doubt that Jonadat did know about it. And if he did know about it, then here's what we can conclude even from our introduction to this man. He did not have Amnon's best interest in mind.

He did not. He did not really care about Amnon, did not have his future in mind. And listen, that might concern some people because we wonder what's a person's heart truly for me? How do I discern who to yoke myself with? And listen, God is gracious.

He he can he can provide many ways of clarity, but if you want one clear indication, any person who persistently encourages you to sin does not care about you. Even if their deception is coated with words like what we see back in verse four. Look at how he speaks to Amnon when he sees him so dejected and troubled. Oh, son of the king, why are you so haggard morning after morning? Will you not tell me?

He's a snake. And then said to him, I love Tamar my brother, Absalom's sister. So if you want to know whether somebody is for you or against you, do they pull you away from the will of God? Do they encourage you to be deceiving and to step outside of the character of Christ likeness in order to achieve something? Because that's exactly what Jonadah does for this man Amnon.

And so we already realized something about this man. He's dangerous. Too bad Amnon could not see it, because what we see in verse six shows that he ate it all up. Verse six let's come back to our main text, shall we? In verse six, we read, So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill.

And when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, 'Please let my sister Tamar come and make a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat it from her hand. Some people blame David for not being suspecting of the plot that Amnon was brewing here. I personally have more understanding toward this father because I can't imagine anybody immediately thinking about an unthinkable act taking place between the most unexpected people. And so we can give some kind of mercy here to David. Others would say that he just gives everything he's asked for from his children, he just splurges them, and that might be true, But here we see that he just comes in to check up on his son.

I mean, you hear when even a celebrity has a scar on their face or something, it makes headline news, so it's obvious that news has gone around that the firstborn of the king is ill, so here comes David to check up on his boy, and the boy makes a request. I want my sister to come and to feed me, so I'm too weak to feed myself. And instead of talking more about David, I would like for us to consider the character of Tamar. What are we told in verse one? She was beautiful.

Verse two, we're told she's a virgin. And what we see here is that when he goes to Tamar, David, and asks for her to make a couple of cakes for her brother, she obeys her father, and she's willing to drop everything and immediately come to the service of her sick half brother. Okay, this is a woman of character. She's praiseworthy. She's pure.

And even when you see her resisting the attack, her appeal, her proposal is so filled with wisdom and even respect, though she stands before a monster. And when I considered the portrait of Tamar and what's about to happen to her, I could not help but think what perhaps you might be thinking even now. How could God allow this to happen to such an outstanding lady? A young woman who has guarded her life, who is chased, who kept herself pure, who obviously had a knowledge of the Word of God, who cared about her reputation, of the reputation of Israel, of even her own brother's reputation, who had a sense of right and wrong that was clear in the way that she carried herself and presented herself. How could God allow this?

We can also think about Uriah, a godly man, remember him, who had such loyalty to the Lord and to his king, who had such loyalty to the cause of the the God that he loved so dearly, and yet he was deceived enough to the point where he orchestrated his own death. And Tamar, though she is admirable in so many ways, would also be attacked in a way that she would be ruined for the rest of her life to some extent. This opens up so much discussion about suffering in our life, suffering in our world. In fact, when you read chapter 13, I can't find one mention of God. And some people that we know, or some things that we read, we wonder where's God in all of this?

I'm sure you have answers. I'm sure I can present some answers. But one thing that puts my heart at ease to an extent is that the Judge of the Earth will do right. One day, He will make sure every wrongdoer pays and every victim is restored. He can do it in this life, but he will definitely do it where it really counts, and that's an eternity.

And so this poor young lady is about to be violated in a very serious way. In slow motion. It's almost as though the author, by the spirit, is trying to make us feel the suspense, because we, the reader, know what's about to happen. And Tamar, in her innocence, is completely oblivious. She's just trying to be a good sister, a good daughter.

Verse eight, so Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house where he was lying down and she took dough and kneaded it and made cakes in his sight and baked the cakes. Like, that's very detailed. Like, we're supposed to envision this. We're supposed to see these verbs being lived out. And she took the pan and emptied it out before him, but he refused to eat.

And Amnon said, Send out everyone from me. So everyone went out from him. Then Amnon said to Tamar, bring the food into the chamber that I may eat it from your hand. And Tamar took the cakes she had made and brought them into the chamber to Amnon, her brother. Every single step, every single movement is recorded, and our hearts should be racing.

We see here that Amnon pushes everybody out. All the servants leave. Servants who were going to be present as Tamar was serving her brother. And now that's not the case. Privacy, sin is often encouraged by secrecy.

Sin is often stimulated by darkness, by the lack of witnesses. But God sees all. God sees all. That that is what the fear of the Lord entails. The fear of the Lord is a drum that continually beats in the conscience that says nothing is private.

Nothing is concealed. All things will be revealed. God is here. God is taking note. God will call into account.

That's what the fear of the Lord does when it resides in the heart. It beats that drum loud and clear. Obviously, it was lacking in this man, because he thought if he just pushed out the servants that he could satiate his sensual fantasies. And so he calls everybody to leave, and this is what we see in verse 11. But when she brought them near to him to eat, he took a hold of her and said there, come, lie with me, my sister.

Like, that's pretty disturbing. In the same appeal of asking somebody to lie with you, you could also save my sister. And Tamar's words here in her rebuke offer wonderful incense of the blinding power of temptation. Because temptation can really put blinders on our reasoning, on our sensibilities, on our boundaries. I want you to see just a few of these insights of what temptation is capable of if we do not take captive these thoughts, if we do not resist it, if we do not fight, if we do not bring them before God and bring truth to combat that which tries to conquer.

Let's see what she says. Verse 12. She answered him, no, my brother, do not violate me, for such a thing is not done in Israel. This outrageous thing. As for me, where could I carry my shame?

And as for you, you would be as one of the outrageous fools in Israel. Now, therefore, please speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you. What do you see out of that that you think is valuable in light of what I just said? In light of because she's the voice of reason here. She is bringing to Ammon's attention what was clearly lacking in his understanding.

What stands out? What's that? The consequences? Surely. Yes.

Okay. So why is she proposing a different way out, especially when marriage between siblings was obviously prohibited. It could be impossible to escape captivity. Yeah. I think it is.

It's a way out. It's a way to buy time. It's a way to just put him in his place so that she can escape. That's what I believe. Anything else?

Yes. Yeah. Where should I carry my shame? Do you realize what this is going to do to me? And she follows up by saying, do you realize what this is going to do to you?

So here's the first thing that I see. Look here again at verse 12. She answered him, no, my brother. She addresses him as her brother, and that's intentional. The reason why it's intentional, even though this is an unusual case of immorality, it provides an important principle that lust has the ability to erase the boundaries in our relationships between people.

Lust has that kind of clouding effect. So when when lust is unrestrained, it doesn't care if that person is somebody else's spouse. It doesn't care it doesn't care if then if the desires are unnatural according to Romans chapter one. It doesn't care if other parties who are not directly involved will be harmed by the news of that desire being acted out. And so she she immediately brings to his attention, you're my brother.

He had no problem saying, you're my sister, obviously. But he he is now hearing from her lips, you're my own blood. You and I, we have the same father. And if we are not careful with our conscience, our appetites, as we are witnessing in our own culture, can become animalistic. Animalistic.

We just whenever anybody's in heat, they act in that. And that's how base we can become when we blunt our conscience over and over again, and we decide to worship creation rather than the Creator refusing to give Him thanks and glory. We open the floodgates of untold kind of behavior. And this is what's happening to this man. Sin doesn't remind you of the value of the person before you.

Sin doesn't nudge to you of the identity, the spiritual identity of that person. That person is a son or a daughter of the king. Sin doesn't do that. Sin just harps over and over, you'll be satisfied, you'll be satisfied, you'll be satisfied. My brother, secondly, what does she call this thing?

Do not violate me, for such a thing is not done in Israel. Do not do this. I thought it was love. Outrageous thing. Some translations say folly.

Other translations say, if you have the NASB, disgraceful. Temptation always presents us the shiny side of sin. Always. Never shows you the mold and the vileness that hides underneath the veneer of the pleasure that it offers. Never.

It will never do that. And Ammon thought that this was love, but in reality, it was outrageous. If you and I don't allow ourselves to have truth frame how we view the things that promise us pleasure, then that which is outrageous, that which is bitter can become sweet. And so she's trying to remind him this is out of bounds. This is unspeakable filth.

And in his own understanding, in his own world view, it was love. It was love. So she's trying to preach truth into his heart. I see another thing here. Thirdly, temptation does not inform you about how sin can ruin your reputation.

Our sister said it. She knew the shame that she would carry because of this, and the shame would be that she would become less of a prospect for marriage. She would have been violated. She would have lost her virginity. And because this would this would become known, people would now be much less willing to engage with her because of what had happened to her.

But she also goes beyond that and tells him, you will be known as one of the fools in Israel. You'll be known as one of the ones who lack sense. You're royalty, you're a prince, you have so much ahead of you. But sin doesn't care, temptation doesn't care, it doesn't tell you about your future, it always, always, always rehearses the few seconds of pleasure as though it lasts for eternity, when in fact it's the consequences that always outlast with the pain in comparison to whatever pleasure you experience. Always.

So she's trying to tell him of the stain that will come to his name if he performs this. Even these few minutes of of realizing what you've been tormented by will end up tormenting you, Amnon. Be careful. I I always whenever I read Samson's life, I always think about that. This guy was flirting with temptation.

He just kept going closer and closer to revealing how he lost his anointing. And it's just like you lost it all. The potential that you had, the future that you had, the story you could have had, the miracles that God could have done through you. For what? For what?

To lay your head on a prostitute's lap? Who cares? Lastly, I said lastly earlier, I think, but there is something else that I see with this woman's wise words. Through her voice, she tells us what Annan could not see, that in temptation, there is a way out. No matter how strong or persuasive or powerful or overwhelming it may seem, there is a way out, and she she kind of gives that by telling him of a potential option.

Hey, we can get married. Now we just discussed this. Was she genuine in that request? Makes me wonder if she knew enough about her dad and how he deals with his sons that if if if daddy's boy says I want this, he'll give it even if it's something like an illegitimate marriage. Or is it a strategy just to buy more time?

Regardless of why she's saying this, one thing is for certain in terms of principle, especially in this I know it's difficult to try to reconcile this to to day to day temptation. This is incestuous rape. It's severe. It it's it happens unfortunately in life, and I know it's difficult to relate to, but the principles are still alive and well in terms of immorality as as a whole. There is a way out.

So many try to justify their behavior because it seems to overwhelm them, and that is not the case. We don't have to give in to our desires. How much more us Christians who are filled with the Holy Spirit, Jesus Christ purchased on the cross with his blood, a power that lives in us twenty four seven? As our brother just read early on in Romans chapter six, sin shall not have dominion over you. Do you realize something about that verse in Romans?

Sin sin will not have dominion over you. That's not a command. That's a promise. Sin will not have dominion. Will not.

Because you are under grace, not under law. These are promises that Christ purchased for me. How much more can I be assured that in the face of invitation to do wrong, to entertain that which is wicked, I can escape? I can evade it. God has a better plan.

God has a different way out. And when I read the words of Tamar here, you know what I thought to myself as well? If only Jonadab had given similar words to his friend, maybe he wouldn't drive his life into a collision that would cause others to be casualties as well. But here's the thing, look what we're what we're told here after she says everything in verse 14, but he would not listen to her. Oh, so you're willing to listen to Jonadab, but when it came to this woman, you're not willing to listen to her.

In the end, no matter what you say, no no matter what kind of accountability you get, no matter what kind of sermons you hear week after week, in the end, in the end, in the end, it's your choice. It's all of our choices. We we are ultimately responsible. Yes. What people say or don't say can help us, but we come to the line where we make a decision, and this is the decision that he makes.

I'm going to listen to Jonadab, my flesh. I'm I'm going to ignore what you just said and have you to myself even apart from your own will. And that's what happens. Verse 14 says, he would not listen to her, and being stronger than she, he violated her and lay with her. It's very dark, very disheartening, very sad.

And what happens here in verse 15 might be surprising to you at first, but it's actually a common response that is very, very relatable when people sin, especially in the area of sexual immorality. Look at verse 15. Then Amnon hated her with very great hatred, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. It's like two different people here. You apparently loved her to the point where you were love sick.

You couldn't sleep. You couldn't eat. You couldn't play sports with your friends. You were just consumed with Tamar. And now that you've gotten what you wanted, your hatred for her was greater than whatever love you experienced beforehand.

Fantasy, the intense fake love that was roaring in his heart was quickly replaced with detestment and rejection that determined a new kind of behavior. We already covered that Amnon's love wasn't true love. It was a counterfeit. He confused lust with love. And sexual sin, this is a very important point because it might bring a lot of answers to people's confusion.

Sexual sin always carries the potential of causing physical harm, right? We all know that. There are risks with that. Unwanted pregnancy, disease, and some people get away with it, some people don't. But here's one thing that's for certain, the uniqueness of sexual sin is that it guarantees a level of emotional damage that is virtually inescapable.

Only Christ's love and his truth and his gospel can ultimately bring healing to that to the degree that people yearn for. But do you see what's happening here? There is some confusion here in Amnon's emotional state, And that is really the fruit when we step outside of God's guidelines for what he determined in the realm of intimacy with other people. Sexual sin often does that. You reject his order.

You reject his promises. It doesn't just endanger you physically, it brings some damage emotionally. And here are a couple of way that it happens with the example that is set before us. Like Amnon, when I know this is a unique case, but it's true beyond what we see here, we risk rejecting, despising, belittling, distancing ourselves from these very same people that we sinned with or sinned against because we associate them with the shame that we have. Right?

So he he could not wait to get rid of her because now she is forever branded in his mind and a forever reminder of the gross sin that he had committed. So he he wants nothing to do with her. Get out of my sight. Get out of my sight. I don't want you in my life.

And though this is a severe case, it is true in more mild cases, if I can use that word. That is why it's extremely important, my brothers and sisters, I say this with a a soft heart. Please hear me. I know my voice can sometimes be strong, but I hope you can sense love laced in these words. It's so important that in your pursuit of a relationship that aims toward marriage, that you do everything you can with God's promises and his wisdom to maintain purity because even when there is failure in sin, though you have the ambition to be married, the regret and shame can be brought into that marriage and it can cause conflict in that very same marriage.

And so it's important to keep the future in mind even though you've made promises to each other that you will come together. Trust in God's timing. I've never heard, I've never to this day, after eleven years of walking with the Lord and several years of ministry, I'm sure brother Daniel can attest to this, I've never heard in all these years of ministry of any couple who's been married who said, you know, my sweetheart and I, we were talking the other night, and we we thought, I wish we fooled around more before we got married. Never heard of it. You know what I do here?

I wish we can go back in time and redo it. I wish we can have another shot at the process and the pursuit of coming to marriage. That's what you often hear. Because it brings in distrust. It brings in all these complications and and it just goes to show that God knows what he's talking about when he says just do not awaken love before it's time.

Don't awaken love before it's time. It muddies things. It muffles things even with the person that you want to be with. And if you have made that mistake, listen, the Lord again can redeem. Praise God that you're in covenant now.

Praise God that you realize you're wrong. Praise God that you repented of that wrong, and trust that the Lord can now come and mend your ways and and be like David where when he was restored, he said, I will now teach transgressors your ways. We'll be able to relay that to others in our lives to say, trust in God's wisdom. Trust in God's wisdom. Here we see a man who wanted nothing to do with the woman that he wanted at one point because now she's associated with the shame that he sensed.

And again, this scenario is related to a despicable act of rape, but we can still draw another lesson from it, can we not? And it is this, people who view another person's body as simply as a means to satisfy your selfish desires, if they view your body simply as an object to satisfy yourself selfishly, generally will not show you respect in other matters. Generally won't respect you once they realize that they can get from you what they want. And I'll show you that in one way. Scroll down to verse 17 of second Samuel 13.

Look what he ends up saying to one of the servants about Tamar. It breaks my heart. He called the young man who served him and said, put this woman out of my presence and bolt the door after her. Like, he just kicked her out like she was garbage. You know what's amazing?

When you go to the Hebrew of this, there's a word that's omitted. When you go to verse 17, you'll realize that one word is missing. You know what word it is? Woman. In the original language, you won't find woman.

So you know you know what how that translates, and if we just honor the original language, put this, put this out of my presence. That's how he said it. He doesn't even refer to her as a lady. Again, he saw her as an object to begin with and guess what? He ends up seeing her still as an object that he just used, like a piece of gum that he chewed up and once it lost its flavor he spat it out.

Here's the thing, especially to my sisters, realize this. There are men out there who are like that. Be very careful. Be very careful. If that man truly loves you, he will respect you.

And he will honor God first, and he will, as a true warrior for Christ, fight for that purity. Do things happen? Do temptation does temptation have us? At some times, do we fall? Sure.

But if there is a person who consistently pressures and persists you into wrongdoing, that person lacks respect for you. And if they lack respect for you for something so sacred and pure and holy, what makes you think they're gonna respect you in other ways? Keep that in mind. Keep that in mind as you're considering a potential spouse, as a person is perhaps trying to woo you. Do they love you enough?

Do they love you enough to respect you in that way? Or would they throw themselves on you, and pressure you, If you really love me, you would do this, and I told you I would be your husband anyway, we're going to be together anyway. That's not love. That's not love. No matter how strong his affections are, no matter what he brings about to try to convince you to give that part of yourself, be strong, my sister.

Be careful, my sister. Now that's different than a man who does love you and finds himself stumbling with you. It takes two to tango. I get it. That's not what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about aggressive, inconsiderate, overpowering, manipulative behavior. Put this out. There's that young girl wrecked. This is what this man experienced. Can I show it to you in one last verse of our bible study?

Wow. Time is an amazing thing, isn't it? Go to Proverbs 20 verse 17 very quickly. Proverbs twenty seventeen, I think, is a wonderful way of wrapping up this segment of this chapter. Not the most encouraging bible study.

Sometimes the worship team has trouble after a study like this. You know what they ask? What do we sing after you share something like that? And to me, despite the content, I always praise God for his wisdom, and including these things for the sake of my preservation and maximizing on the pleasure that He has for my life and yours. Look at verse 17.

Bread gained by deceit is sweet to a man. There's something attractive and exhilarating about gaining something through deceit or manipulation, so something that is quick gratification. But look how this verse ends. But afterward his mouth will be full of gravel. Afterward his mouth will be full of gravel.

You know what gravel does if it's in your mouth and you chew on it? Doesn't taste very good, one. Two, it could break your teeth. Three, if you swallow that gravel, it's gonna have some problems internally, long term effects. And that's exactly what Amnon is gonna experience.

That thing that was once sweet to him would end up betraying him. And so in one moment, he can love it, and in the next moment, he absolutely hates it. This is a wonderful commentary on the short lived promises of sin. It doesn't take very long for us to go from this is what I've been wanting, this is what I've been longing for, to I hate this, I hate myself. I hate this person.

I hate that I'm in this predicament. I wish I can do it all over again. Right? Such is the nature of sin. Such is the nature of sin.

And so that, I think, equips us wonderfully in in our temptation. That when that thing looks like bread that will fill us and bring flavor to our lives, look past it and realize that it has the potential of becoming gravel, dirt, rocks, and reject it from the get go. By the grace of God, this can happen. With such a Bible study brought to a conclusion, may I end with a hopeful thought? In Christ, the most grotesque, dark, heinous things are absolutely washed by his blood.

Absolutely washed. Amnon will not repent. Amnon will not repent. David repented. David repented, and God forgave.

Amnon would not repent, and he would pay. The Lord, even in light of all this, I am sure, knowing his character through his word, if Amnon if Amnon had enough sense to stop in that moment and to feel the rush of guilt, to instead deal with it in a very humanistic way but be broken before God, could've had a different future, Different future. Even maybe a hopeful future. Remember this. Remember that even when David sinned with Bathsheba, married her in an illegitimate way, when he had repented, God recognized their covenant, gave them a baby named Solomon, and reassured them through Nathan, I love this boy.

I love this boy. And my heart breaks for many reasons with the text that we just read, and we're gonna continue in the next few weeks. But, oh, if Amnon had just known that the same God who forgave his dad would also forgive him, what a different future he would have had. Maybe he would have had a family. Maybe God would have restored him.

Maybe God would have done something through him. But the things that we bar ourselves from because of our stubbornness and our unwillingness to believe that he is a forgiving God, I pray that in this place as you you heard some of these dark things, you remember that there is light above it all. And if you just look up and see that that light is the person of Jesus Christ, reach out even if your hands are stained with blood or perversion. Realize that he'll pick you up, wash you, and set you on solid rock. That's the goodness of Jesus Christ.

At the same time, my brothers and my sisters, let us not be like Amnon and fool ourselves, thinking that we can get away with sin because even forgiven sin can leave tattoos that we didn't ask for, can leave scars that we could have avoided. And that's why text like this is given to us, to be prepared in advance and to trust the promises and the warnings of our God. Lord, we thank you, and we will sing to you. We will sing to you in all things because we love the whole counsel of God. And Lord, this text before us today reminds us of many things.

And one thing we are certainly reminded of is that your word is truth. And it sets free. Not only does it set free, it keeps free, and we wanna stay free. Warning. We've been comforted.

We shower you with the same praise. And that you would be honored with our lives. In Jesus name we pray. Amen. Shall we stand and worship?

Yes.