Malachi 2:16 | Divorce; The Hated Last Option | Pastor Daniel Banna

Let us turn our Bibles to the book of Malachi chapter two, Malachi two. We're going to read just one verse, verse 16. For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the lord. The god of Israel covers his garment with violence, says the lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.

Now, if you recall, I did preach several messages on the book of Malachi. It's not an easy book. It is a harsh book. And, we talked last time briefly about the subject of divorce, and we touched on it. And, I believe I mentioned two points, and I did not mention the third point because of time.

And I said, I will mention the third point next time, and, I felt later I wished I didn't make that promise because I wish I don't have to talk about this subject this afternoon or this evening, to be honest. But I have to keep my promise. So I have to mention not just a third point, but that'll expand on this subject because it will be very difficult transition to move from this subject to this different subject completely in chapter three. It is one thing to believe what god has said and keep it to yourself, and it's another thing is to proclaim it. We believe, but do we proclaim?

Today, our intention is to declare God's truth in spite of some, discomfort, this may cause. As we looked at the book of Malachi chapter two and the statement we read in verse 16, and the statement in King in in in the King James version, if you have, it says, for God hates divorce. The ESV puts it differently. It says, but the man who does not love his wife or otherwise hates her. The Hebrew word we see here is the word, which means literally to hate.

And and the Hebrew text here, it says clearly these words, And the literal translation of this would be, for he hates divorce, says Yahweh, the God of Israel. Now is that very clear in the Hebrew? For again, it says, for he hates divorce, says Yahweh, the God of Israel. Who is the one who hates divorce? It seems that the reference is to God.

God hates divorce. And why does he hate divorce? Now there are three reasons why god hates what we put forward. The first one we mentioned, that divorce damages both spouses, that children I mean, god desires the well-being of his creation. Divorce often causes unnecessary pains to the couples involved.

The second point we mentioned, divorce damages the children involved. The children are witness. They are to witness the relationship of sacrificial love, honor, respect between their parents. And when they establish their own families, they can look up at their parents' marriage and relationship, and they want to duplicate it in their own families. But when this is absent, the children often suffer.

Even their future relationship and their future marriage may suffer. And statistics proves that, by the way. Those who come from divorced families are more likely to get themselves divorced. And who come from a divorced family twice, they are even more likely to get divorced. But thirdly, divorce breaks God's order in creation.

God has instituted marriage. God has said the two become one in marriage. Divorce breaks what God has established to be the means of building a healthy society based on a healthy family unit. It breaks what God has established to be the means of procreation, and definitely it breaks even God's heart. There is still one more point that I will mention tonight, and that's number four.

Divorce damages that's very important. That that's the most important of all the points. Divorce damages a picture of God's covenant relationship with his people, the picture of the redeeming love Jesus has for his church. Divorce damages this image. When God instituted marriage back in the Garden Of Eden, he created it as a picture of the greatest unity humans can have.

He wanted those who are redeemed to understand the relationship God, the creator, wants to have with us, his people. Throughout the bible, God refers to his people as his bright. Throughout the bible, in the Old Testament and in the New Testament. Let us take example, the Song of Songs. Many commentaries are written about the Song of Songs, and believe it or not, some of these commentaries are very extreme and very, very wild.

Is the book about love between a man and a woman? Or it's a book about God's love to his people Israel? Or it's about Christ's love to his church? What is it? I believe it's a book celebrating pure love between a man and a woman, and it's about God's love for Israel, and it's about God's Christ's love to his church.

Christ is in the Song of Songs. And if he's not there, we don't need the Song of Songs to be even in the Bible. Christ is there. And we must seek Christ in the glorious book of the Song of Songs. In fact, believe it or not, the Jewish people call the books Song of Psalms the Holy of Holies in the Old Testament.

The Holy of Holies in the Old Testament, that was the name of their book because they saw god there, god's love to Israel. And we must see also there Christ's love to his church. Listen to those words of the groom in songs one seven, for example. Verse seven, he says, you are altogether a beautiful, my love. There is no flaw in you.

Yes. It's a love song between man and a woman, but it's much more deeper than that. It's Christ's love for us. Look look then later what he says. You are altogether beautiful, you but my love, there is no flaw in you.

Can can you see Jesus here? Can you see Jesus speaking to his bride, the church, that pure love, and he sees her without spot or blemish? That's how he sees her. That's how she would be presented to him on that great glorious day dressed in white linen. In chapter two, listen to the bride's response, and we heard during the wedding last last Monday, The groom and bride responding to each other from the song of songs.

How beautiful it was. In verse six of chapter two, listen what the to the bride's words. He says, his left hand is under my head, and his right hand embraces me. This is the love. This is the protection.

This is the companionship Christ wants to have with his bride, his church. The same imagery we see in the New Testament. In Ephesians five, listen to the words of Paul. He says, for this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is, Paul said, a profound mystery, but I'm talking about Christ and the church.

Can you see it? Marriage, as we have read, tells a truth. Marriage between man and a woman tells truth about God's relationship to his church. One of the most most glorious description of this relationship we see, all of us remember it, in Revelation 19. I love Revelation 19, especially verses six and so forth.

It says, hallelujah, for our lord god almighty reigns. Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory, for the wedding of the lamb has come and his bride has made herself ready. Fine linen, bright and clean, was given her to wear fine linen stands for the righteous acts of the saints. This is so majestic. This is so beautiful.

This is so glorious. With all our imperfections and weaknesses, god sees none of that. Jesus' blood has made us perfect before the eyes of a holy god. Now we who are married represent relationship between Christ and his church, and we should mirror in our relationship with our spices spouses, not spices, with our spouses, the covenant relationship God made with us through the blood of Jesus. Now divorce blurs that beautiful picture and portrays God's love as imperfect, changeable rather than the perfect and changing, enduring, deep and sacrificial love.

This is what divorce does. This is how serious is divorce. That's why God says God hates divorce. It damages that beautiful picture of God's relationship to his church. But I must ask, is there a time when divorce is justified?

All of us have an answer. Right? By the way, evangelical Christians differ on this point. And in the next few minutes, I know it's going to sound like a lecture, but that's okay. In the next few minutes, we're going to discuss the biblical basis for divorce, if there is any, and how mainstream evangelical Christians view it.

Now there are at least three legitimate reasons for divorce that what you hear Christians talk about. Okay? You hear Christians talking about three legitimate reasons for divorce, main reason for divorce. We will look at these reasons tonight in the light of scripture and see if they qualify as biblically justifiable reasons for divorce or not. Okay?

Shall we? The first one is which one? Adultery. Adultery. Good.

Next. What is the second one? I can't hear you. You need to be louder. Physical abuse.

Very good. Number two is physical abuse. Correct. The the second one. And there's one more reason.

That's it. Abandonment or desertion. That's true. These are the three reason usual usually, considered by some are legitimate reasons for divorce. Some people might hold to only to one, other might have to two, others might hold into the three reasons.

Adultery, abandonment, and abuse could be, physical abuse, emotional abuse, mental abuse, sexual abuse, abuse. And all of these things are very, very hurtful, I'm sure, to both spouses, but mostly to the one who is being the victim. Now regardless of one's position, we need to make sure, as members of the body of Christ that we are always always to help the victim, to support the hurting and the abused, and do all we can to assist them in this very, very difficult journey. I know it is very difficult. When I counsel people, I see the pain.

I see the suffering. It is very, very difficult. Let us begin first with the first reason for divorce, adultery. Now I would say the majority of evangelical Christians would see the legitimacy of divorce in this case based on what seems to be the teaching of our lord Jesus himself, mainly in Matthew chapter 19 verse three to nine. If you would, turn with me to Matthew chapter 19 verses three to nine, I would read those verses.

And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, it is lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause? He answered, have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female? And said, therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore god has joined together, let not man separate.

They said to him, why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away? He said to them, because of your hardness of heart, Moses allowed you to to divorce your wives, but from the beginning, it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality and marries another, commits adultery. Now I need to stop here and pray. Shall we?

Lord, I want to thank you for for this evening, for this message. Lord, we pray that you open our eyes to see the truth. Lord, help us declare your truth faithfully without fear. We believe, Lord, that the Holy Spirit leads us. The Holy Spirit Spirit is our teacher, and we want to trust in his working among us even this this night.

In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. It would be wise to compare the words of our lord Jesus in the gospel of Matthew with his words in the gospel of Luke and in the gospel of Mark. For in both or in the three gospels, in the synoptic gospels, Jesus mentioned this thing. But in the gospel of Luke, Jesus makes a very short and simple statement as in the gospel of Mark.

He says there in verse 18, Luke sixteen eighteen, he says, everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery. There is no reference to any reason for divorce in neither gospel. Only in Matthew, we see this exception clause, except for sexual immorality. Only in the gospel of Matthew. Now before we go into the meaning of the text that is before us, that's in Matthew 19, we must pay close attention to the background.

The Pharisees, as we read, we are told, came to Jesus to do what? To test him, and the Hebrew word the Greek word is really to tempt him. And this is not the first time they do that. Right? Remember when they came to him, is it lawful to give this money to Caesar or not, tax to Caesar?

Why they were want to trap him. They want to test him. They want to tempt him. They had a goal in mind, the Pharisees, the scribes, the Herodians. They had a goal in mind to make him make what?

A mistake to trap him. To make the wrong statement that they might find find something against him if they could Know what that might be? What could he say now that could cause him to get in trouble? Is it possible that we have a clue in verse one of chapter 19? Now look at verse one of chapter 19.

You might not see the clue there, but there might be a clue there, by the way. And when Jesus had finished these things, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. Jesus' Galilean ministry has ended right now. Now he's entering deep into the territory of king Herod Antipas. Remember that guy?

He's a wonderful guy, isn't he? Oh, no. Neither him nor his grandfather, all are evil kings. What did he do to this king? He's the same king who beheaded John the Baptist.

And why did he do that? Anybody remember why did he do that? Exactly. He rebuked him. He confronted him about having his brother's, Philip, wife.

He told me it's unlawful to you to have your brother's wife, Herodias. This is what this is what we read in Matthew fourteen three. He said, Herod had seized John and bound him and put him in prison for the sake of Herodias, his brother Philip's wife, because John had been saying to him, it's not lawful for you to have her. Herodias was married to his brother. Herod enticed her, and now she is his wife.

John the Baptist never hesitated to continue to rebuke him for such an act. It is unlawful. It is wrong. It is adultery. And by the way, the length of of time they were together did not make their marriage legal in John's eyes.

It was still adultery. The length of time did not make it legal, again, according to what we see in scripture. It continued to be unlawful. Now what was the result of John's stand for the truth? We know he when he got the opportunity, he chopped off his head.

He cut it off his head. Now maybe the Pharisees might be hoping the same thing would happen to Jesus. So they came to him, tempting him with a question about divorce, hoping he might say something that might anger king Herod, and Jesus would have maybe the same fate as John the Baptist. Again, this is a possibility. But you can't, of course, trick Jesus, can you?

You can trick Jesus. Jesus immediately referred to the scripture. Have you not read? You know, we can avoid so many problems, so much trouble if we just go back to the scripture. It is written.

This what Jesus did. Now going back to the text and with the question, can a man divorce his wife for any reason? That's their question. Can a man remember, not a woman because it was not possible for a woman to to divorce her husband, but can a man divorce his wife for any reason? Now at the time of the Lord Jesus, there were two groups.

There were two opinions about divorce. These opinions were based on Jewish rabbis' interpretation. The first, you might heard have heard about it, was, opinion of rabbi Shammai. Now rabbi Shammai took very strict view about divorce. He understood that adultery by the wife is the only ground for divorce.

And he based his interpretation on a verse from Deuteronomy twenty four one. And this is what the verse says in Deuteronomy twenty four one. When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce. He interpreted the indecency or the indecent act as adultery. And he said adultery is the only justifiable reason for divorce based on his interpretation of the word indecency to mean adultery.

But was he correct in his interpretation? It sounds right. Correct? Is it? What what what do you think?

Is the indecent act adultery? Some say yes. But if we dig deeper in the scripture, what do you think we find out? I like to dig deeper a little bit and find out if he's accurate or not accurate. In fact, I believe he's not correct.

I believe the indecent act does not refer to adultery. Do you know why? Because had god has already prescribed a penalty for adultery and it's not divorce. What was the penalty for adultery in the old testament? Death.

Death. By stoning Leviticus 12 of 10 twenty ten. So the indecent act could not be adultery, and we have no way to know what was it, really. Nobody really knows what was it. But it was seemed to be less serious even than adultery because adultery was the most serious thing and was punishable by death, by stoning.

But next we have the opinion of Rabbi Hillel, which was much more popular than the opinion of Rabbi Shammai and because it was more liberal. And the more liberal is the more popular. Hillel believed that any reason could be grounds for divorcing one's wife. Shammai, only adultery, halal, any reason could be grounds for divorcing wife one's wife as little as burning your food or speaking loud in public. That reason enough to divorce your wife.

What the Pharisees really are asking Jesus, Rabbi Jesus, which of you do you take? Where do you stand? Are you taking the view of Shammai or the view of Hillel? Which view of the two you are taking? Now there arose, by the way, another of you at a later time by rabbi Akiva.

He was born in fifty AD, so he was contemporary of Paul. He was younger than Paul. But in fifty AD, Rabbi Akiva, came, and he had a a different view than the two of them. And his view was even more liberal than the view of Rabbi Hillel. What could be more liberal than any reason?

What what could be you think? No reason. He believed you don't have to have any reason to divorce your wife. Just divorce her. You don't have any reason.

You don't have to bring any just divorce her. You have the right as a man, as a husband, to divorce your wife for completely no reasons at all. Now Jesus in his response to their question does not go back to Moses, to what Moses said. Jesus goes back where? To the beginning, to what God has said about divorce.

Clearly, things have changed at the time of Moses, and they continue to change at the time of Jesus and to continue to change even up to this date. God's standards remain the same. The way how God looked at marriage in Genesis two, he looked at marriages in Moses' time. He looked at marriage in Jesus' time. He looks at marriage today.

God's principles remain the same. God's standards remain the same. What did God say in Genesis two? A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And Jesus asked this statement for what God has joined together, let not man separate.

This is the original. This is Genesis two. This is the words of our Lord. Now what happened between Genesis two and Moses? Something has happened in between.

Now go down to verse seven. See what happened. They said to him, why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away? We are the disciples of Moses. He commanded us to divorce our wives.

If so, we choose. He is God's prophet, isn't he? If we are telling if you are telling us to bet to go back to Genesis two, why did not Moses go back to Genesis two? Right? Christ gives them the answer in verse eight.

He said to them, because of your hardness of heart, Moses he didn't say use the word command, but he used what? Allowed. Jews Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning, it was not so. Moses permitted divorce because of the hardness of man's heart toward his wife, but this is not how god sees it. God god's principles and standards are unchangeable.

And he is saying, I am here. He has declared to bring you back to God's original plan to Genesis two when he created when he instituted marriage to be between a man and a woman, one man and one woman for life. In verse nine, and I say to you, Jesus says, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality and marries another, commits adultery. Now we arrive at the most important verse that we have to deal with. What did Jesus mean by what he just said?

And as we have said, we see here and nowhere else, this exception clause, except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery. Now two words our lord Jesus is using here that we need to look at. The first wear word is sexual immorality translated in the King James fornication, and the second word is adultery. Two words. And scholars are not in agreement if these two words mean the same or not.

And the whole exception clause, believe it or not, will fall or stand based on the understanding of the meaning of these two words. The word sexual immorality or fornication in Greek is. Comes from the word in English pornography. In Hebrew, the word is zana. The word for adultery in Greek is mokeia, and Hebrew is, more used in the old testament.

That's adultery. Or adultery is understood to mean illicit sex after marriage, an affair between a married person and a partner other than their spouse. That's adultery. And I believe all the instances of the Old Testament when this word is used, na'af is used in this context. A married person committing unlawful sexual act with someone else other than their wife or the opposite.

Now does pornea or fornication or as translated in the ESV, sexual immorality have the same meaning? And we need to find out. And here are the three possibilities, for the relation the the relationship between adultery, the word adultery, and the word fornication. Number one, both have the same exact meaning. And why I need to look at that because it's important for us to understand Jesus' words only when we understand the true meaning of these words.

Secondly, their meaning overlaps in some way. Fornication covers all examples of sexual sins of the married and the unmarried, whereas adultery is only by those who are married. But thirdly, these are two distinct and different things. Let us look first at the first possibility of both words having the same exact meaning, which is the most probably popular view today, that both words have the same meaning at least in the New Testament. But let's take example for Matthew fifteen nineteen where both words are mentioned in the same sentence, and we have at least three references in scripture in the New Testament where both distinct word mentioned in the same sentence.

Matthew fifteen nineteen. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander, etcetera. Jesus both used used these both words, moechia and sex sexual and sexual immorality, porneia, adultery and sexual immorality. Now are they the same? It will not make sense to me that they are the same and they are used in the same sentence.

He says, for out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality seem to be still a slight difference there. You agree with me? Look at Mark seven twenty one. We don't have to look at it. Jesus drew the same two words in the same sentence, but it's the same almost identical verse.

Look at first Corinthians six nine. Let us see what the apostle Paul says about this. And we have the same two words are mentioned also there. Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived, neither the sexually immoral or idolaters nor adulterers.

Again, he mentioned the adultery and the sexual immorality as two different things. So it doesn't seem to be in Paul's eyes that they are the same thing. They are similar, but not exactly the same. Now look at the words of the Hebrews, the Hebrew writers in Hebrews thirteen four. One more time, the two words are mentioned in the same verse.

Hebrews thirteen four. Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulteress. Again, both words mentioned in the same verse, in the same sentence, seem to be slightly different. Now this is the first. Now we have been the overlapping meaning.

The overlapping meaning probably is a really very wide, accepted, opinion. And because the word pornea really, which is sexual immoral, seemed to refer, especially in the book of Revelation, to both married people and unmarried people. For this reason, many believe that pornia is really a sexual immoral that also includes adultery. Now adultery only between married people and someone else, but pornia is much larger term. It includes everything, including homosexuality.

Everything else, some people think even pornography. So everything else, it's it's really an overlapping, but it's also a very, very wide wide word. Now having reached to this point, I want us to look at Jesus' response in the light of what we have said already. And I say to you, Jesus, whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery. Now most theologians understand sexual immorality here to mean, as I said earlier, adultery, a cheating spouse.

And they have reason to believe this Because people Jesus is talking here about what? About married people. That there is important element that most people forget about marriage in Jesus' day, and we often forget even ourselves. What happens when a man got engaged in those days? He is called what?

He becomes betrothed. Remember? He becomes betrothed. A great example is Joseph and and Mary. They were engaged to be married.

How does Matthew, who is writing to Jewish audience, speak of their engagement? You remember it very well. Every Christmas, you read the story. Right? Listen to what I want you to pay attention just now to to these words so you have a different understanding.

Now the birth of Jesus, Matthew one, verses 18 to 19. Now, the birth of Jesus took place in this way. When His mother, Mary, had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together, she was found to be with a child from the Holy Spirit. And her husband, Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. Now do you see the the vocabulary being used?

It would be very strange for us to use this vocabulary today, but that was the vocabulary being used then because how this is how they looked at engagement. They were engaged to be married. They have not consummated the marriage yet. Joseph is called her husband, not her fiance. He's called her husband.

Breaking the engagement was called what? A divorce. Can you see that? They were engaged, not married. He was called her husband.

Breaking the engagement was called a divorce. In this case, when engaged couple, any sexual immorality between any one of the two and some other person will be considered because they're not married. Really not married, but they are, in a sense, married officially, but they have not consummated the marriage yet. Not adultery. Right?

Because the marriage has not been consummated yet. So porneia, as I said, is the sin of sexual immorality for those who are not married, for single people. Now, it is is it possible is it possible that our lord in Matthew 19 is referring to this specific scenario? I don't know if you are with me or not. The exception clause for divorce then would be if Jesus referred to this scenario, then the exception clause is making and we just read about would be for a cheating fiance, not a cheating husband.

You got it? Because, again, the words are used here, both porneia and adultery. Both are used in the same sentence in Jesus' term. So that could be what we're talking about here. So what Jesus then would be saying in this case, in this case and only in this case, you can break the engagement.

You can divorce her. He's not talking about a really married people who already have consummated the marriage, but rather people who have been engaged to be married, one has cheated then, in this case, the marriage can be legitimately broken in divorce. Again, this is only an assumption. I'm not saying necessarily this is what Jesus necessarily is making because this argument, by the way, raises even more questions, and I'm not really even to answer. So now reason number two for, for divorce.

The first one we said is what? Adultery. If we understand adultery to be one married people one married person is is committing, the sin of unfaithfulness with someone else other than their spouse. Reason number two is abandonment or desertion. And I'm sure you've heard about it, that some advocate this as a biblically legitimate reason.

Let us turn to first Corinthians seven twelve to 16 because this is the place where we see, Paul is talking about this. To the rest I say, I, not the Lord. And when Paul says I, not the Lord, it doesn't mean he's not inspired by the Holy Spirit. No. He is inspired by the Holy Spirit.

So it is it's the word of God as much as anything else in the scripture. To rest, I say, I, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases, the brother or sister is not enslaved.

God has called you to peace. What Paul is saying here, if the unbelieving spouse no longer wants to stay in this marriage, they can live. They can leave. You have to understand that that that what what was happening here. We're talking about couple who got married, both both as unbelievers.

Right? During their marriage, one of them became a believer. The other person continued continued in unbelief and did not want to continue living with their spouse who is a believer, and now he that person wants to leave. Paul says, fine. If they want to leave, let them leave in this case.

Paul is not saying that believer an unbeliever can marry. Never. This is never the case. There's no union. There's no marriage.

There's no, communion between believer. There's no between believer and unbeliever, between light and darkness. So what a believer should do in this in this case if a believer if if unbeliever decides to leave? Now remember, there is no adultery involved here, but desertion desertion because of someone's faith and others' unbelief. Paul says, let it be.

The believer is not bound to under unbeliever decision. This what Paul is saying. He is not the believer is not enslaved to the unbeliever decision to leave. There is no mention of remarriage whatsoever. Many Christian theologians make the word do not enslave here to mean free to remarry.

But what if it means free to remain single? They never bring that that that that option. They always tell you free means free to remarry, but what about free to remain single? That that idea, they leave it alone. They don't talk about it.

It doesn't say that. Paul does not say that anywhere. He said the believer is not enslaved. He's free, but it doesn't say to remarry anywhere, at least not in that verse. I believe as long as there is a possibility of reconciliation, the believer should remain unmarried.

If there is still a possibility for reconciliation, the believer should remain unmarried. Now the third reason for divorce would be or people make it as a legitimate reason would be, as we have mentioned, abuse. Physical, emotional, and mental abuse. And I see this as a very horrible situation, really. And it seems to me even worse than desertion.

Of course, desertion by itself could be also a type of, of of abuse. But in this case, a spouse is abusive but does not leave. He stays married and continues to abuse their spouse mentally, physically, whatever it is. And the wife, for example, feels threatened, abandoned emotionally. And this seems to me one of the worst cases, even worse maybe than desertion.

What does the Bible say about that? Shall we ask the one who is abused to remain in such unhealthy relationship even at the risk of being harmed by the abuser? And you see this sometime happening. Now the Bible speaks a lot about husband and wife relationships. A relationship that should mirror god god's relationship to his church, sacrificial love, honor, respect, companionship, partnership, fidelity, faithfulness.

But when all these things are absent, husband might come home occasionally drunk, does not fulfill his duties as a father and as a husband, and continually abuses his wife with words and deeds. And maybe some of us who are here of or listening to me have maybe experienced this this in their own life. It's very hurtful and very, very difficult. And I need to say here that sometime the the wife might be the abuser, not just the husband. Maybe more common is the husband, but sometime the wife can be also the abuser and we have to, make sure that we we say that.

And when life becomes so intolerable with such a person and even dangerous, what what must be done? When someone seeks counsel from me, what should I do in such a case? It's a horrible situation. It's it's, I mean, very hurtful. Sometimes people fear for their lives with their spouse is can be dangerous.

Now we have biblical principles. We're not left helpless. The problem sometimes that the abused might remain silent either out of fear or for any other reason. But let me just say very few words because of time. I would give this this advice.

I would say first, if someone is abused, I would say first, let your pastor or pastors know about it. Secondly, I would say seek a godly counsel. And I would repeat this maybe even three times. This is how important it is. Seek a godly counsel from a godly couples.

Thirdly, very important, do not listen to the advice of good friends. Don't listen to the advice of good friends, because good friends would tell you what you like only to hear. They will never see your mistakes and your faults, because there might be some wrong that you have committed that you need to repent from. So we need to hear both parties. So don't listen to the advice of your good friends, rather seek a godly counsel, a godly couple.

And if necessary, I would say move out. Yes. In some cases, move out. I believe this is necessary, not a divorce. I will I will repeat that.

Not a divorce, but a separation for some time. Maybe maybe that period of time will bring back the abuser to repentance. And maybe with prayer and godly counsel, marriage will be restored, and we still believe in miracles. Don't we? God can restore even these kind of marriages.

Now let's look again at verse 16 of Malachi. Let's go back to our our, our book. I want to look at the second part of the verse, and we will end, probably there. For the man who does not love his wife but devotes her, says the lord, the god of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit and do not be faithless.

There's a beautiful picture here of what a man should be doing. He should be covering his wife with his garment. This is a sign of care and a sign of protection, a sign that she belongs to him. We sang about the covering or the shadow. At the last song, we sang, god is covering us in the shadow of his wings.

Now remember the story of Ruth. Right? She came, at night where Boaz was sleeping, and she slipped at his feet. In the middle of the night, Boaz noticed someone was lying by him. He said, who are you?

And she answered, I am Ruth, your servant. Spread the corner of your garment over me, for you are a redeemer. Ezekiel sixteen eight, we read it early in the in the service. We have a similar language. Look at verse eight.

It says, when I passed by you again and saw you, behold, you were at the edge of love, and I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your nakedness. I made my vows to you and entered into a covenant with you, declares the lord god, and you became mine. That's a sign of protection, a sign of belonging. You become mine. But something went wrong in the days of Malachi.

Instead of protecting his wife, he wronged her. He was unfaithful to to her. He dumped her. He violated the covenant of marriage. He dishonored her.

He did not show any grace or mercy or love or devotion. He was violent and acted harshly with her. He failed in his duty to love and protect and provide for her. He had not spread his garment over her. Then he repeats the same warning and commandments again.

He said, so guard yourselves in your spirit and do not be faithless. Do not commit, bigotry. Do not look after other women. Do not divorce your wife. This message is to Malachi's generation, this message to us today.

And I will end it by this. I would say, love your wife. Cherish her. Cover her with your garment. Protect her.

If you have wronged her, repent and seek God's and her forgiveness. Seek counseling if needing if needed. And I know men usually more resistant to the idea of counseling than women. I see that almost almost everywhere. Make your marriage a priority.

Make your marriage a priority. Men and women, make your marriage priority. You remember your marriage vows. We heard marriage vows last Monday. How beautiful is to hear a marriage vows.

Remember those vows. Keep them in mind. Never forget them. Make your marriage always a priority above anything else. And remember that God's will that every Christian marriage would resemble Christ relationship to his church.

Let's pray. Lord, we thank you because you are a faithful god. Lord, your relationship to us can never be severed. It's eternal. It is secure.

Your marriage to us will be eternal, lord. We thank you that we are betrothed right now. To you, we are your bride, and the wedding day is coming. But we know that we are safe. Oh, help us, each one of us, especially those who are married, lord, to be truth true truly faithful to their to their spouses.

Even our minds committed to those marriage vows we once spoke before you as a great witness and many witnesses, Lord. God bless your church. God glorify you and praise your holy name. In your name, we pray. Amen.